


Oblivion

by alwaysbringbackup_03



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alex & Lena grieve together, Alex Danvers & Lena Luthor Friendship, Angst, Canon Divergence, Comatose Kara Danvers, F/F, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Hurt Kara Danvers, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Lena Luthor-centric, Lena does, Protective Lena Luthor, SuperCorp, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-02-11 06:06:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 43,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12929121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwaysbringbackup_03/pseuds/alwaysbringbackup_03
Summary: Post 3x09. An exercise, and an exploration into what might happen after Kara's fight with Reign. There is lots of angst and some unpleasant feelings, so if you can't handle this sort of stuff, I wouldn't be the least bit offended if you guys decided to skip this one.





	1. Can't you see?

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any rights for Supergirl or the DC universe! All of my content is made for recreational purposes only and is not for profit.
> 
> This is pretty dark, guys, even for me! But after seeing last night's Epi, I felt compelled to write something in response. 
> 
> Also, for this fic, I'm just choosing to ignore the Lena/James kiss, or better yet, pretend that it didn't happen. (Because even I don't know how to fix that shit!) Also, let's just pretend that Kara didn't spend half of the episode pining after Mon-El, cause that was ridiculous and so out of character!

_Look what the time has_  
_Come to rewind with_  
_Back to where we began_  
_The autumn leaves have_  
_Dropped to our knees_  
_I don't think I can do it again_

Lena has never particularly cared much for the holidays. In fact, she rather dreaded and detested them. She supposes that part of it stemmed from her dislike of the extravagant affairs that took place every year at the Luthor mansion, balls that made Lena feel like more of an outsider rather than a part of the family. _Lex_ was always the one that made Christmas special. He was always the one to wake her on Christmas morning, before he inevitably tossed her over his shoulder, and rushed for the stairs. His excitement was contagious. She would laugh, giggling so hard that she couldn’t breathe, as he tickled her sides and rushed down the stairs - sometimes, two at a time - on Christmas morning. Every year, without fail, his gift would be the first one that she opened beneath the tree. And each year, his gift was more extravagant and over-the-top than the last. This continued on through much of Lena's adolescence, until the time inevitably came when Lena woke to an empty house on Christmas morning and discovered that there was nothing for her beneath the tree. That was the moment that Lena first realized she was losing her brother. And by the time she realized what was happening, it was been too late for her to do anything. Lex had already descended well into _madness_. She'd tried talking him out of whatever foolishness he had planned, but he wouldn't listen to her. He was so obsessed with stopping Superman that he would no longer listen to reason. He was determined to take him down, no matter the cost. She lost her brother that day. And Lena? Lena never quite recovered from that loss. Instead, she developed new notions of what the holiday meant. Christmas became like any other day – it became just another day for her to get through.

The holiday has taken on a much better light these last couple of years, now that Lena feels that she has things worth celebrating again, things like love, and friendship. She knows that she will never get excited by the holiday in the way that others do, but she tries. When she sees the excitement in Kara’s eyes as she greets her at the door on Christmas Eve, Kara’s childish excitement, and passion, and love, is more than enough for the both of them. It's enough for Lena. And the hug that Kara gives her? Well, let's just say that It might just make a believer out of Lena again.

They'd agreed not to go overboard on gifts this year, and so naturally Kara got her something small, heartfelt, and perfect. Lena had to blink back tears, as she felt her heart grow three sizes in her chest. And Lena, Lena got Kara a pair of beautiful earrings that she insisted didn't cost much at all, but actually cost her a small fortune. Part of her wasn't sure that Kara would ever wear them, but Kara surprised her and took them out of the box, immediately. She insisted on putting them on straightaway, as if to prove just how much she loved them. Lena felt her heartbeat thunder as she realized how beautiful they looked on Kara's ears.

Still, nothing can eclipse the bright, dazzling beauty that radiates from Kara's smiling face, as Kara asks her, "How do they look?"

Lena can't do more than stammer out an, "They - They're perfect. You look beautiful, Kara."

It isn't until much later, when Lena is thinking back on the last year, that she realizes that Kara had given her a gift that far surpassed her own. In fact, she'd given her the greatest gift of all - one that Lena hadn't even realized she'd been given until now. It was something that Lena wished Lex had understood all those years ago, but never quite grasped. The truth is, Lex could've bought her the whole world, and placed it beneath the tree. He could have given her every material object known to man, and it still wouldn't have mattered to her. _No_. What _did_ _matter_ to her, was having a home, a place where she felt safe. What mattered to her was having somebody who cared about her, and would be there for her no matter what. Because all Lena ever wanted was to feel valued. And Kara? Kara did that for her. Kara gave her a home, graciously, and willingly, without ever asking for a single thing in return. She opened her arms - and made Lena feel the ferocity of her embrace every time they hugged.

Since this particular revelation, Lena has tried to quantify that feeling somehow. She has struggled to come up with some a word to describe what Kara makes her feel every time they touch, and Lena reckons that it comes closest to belonging. Kara made her feel like she had a home, a shelter from a world that could by all means be very cruel. She made Lena feel cherished in a way that even Lena's own family had never been able to do. She valued Lena beyond measure. And Lena can feel her throat close up on her as she realizes that she doesn't know how she can ever repay that sort of unwavering kindness. Kara had been with her through thick and thin. She had been a shoulder to cry on, and a friend to laugh with (sometimes she laughed so hard that tears leaked from her eyes).

Lena can't help but think back to the night before, and the Christmas party that Lena thinks might have changed everything. She can remember feeling her chest fill with undeniable warmth that took on a life of it's own, as Kara talked about how grateful she was for her and Sam. She'd never quite felt something like it before. Sure, she'd felt butterflies take flight in her stomach. She'd felt a million things in Kara's presence but never anything so alarming. The realization that Lena was in love with her best-friend startled her, as she listened to Kara speak with such love and affection in her voice. Even now, Lena supposes that the whole conversation had seemed almost _surreal_. Kara's words had been nothing short of eloquent, as she spoke about how blessed she felt to have the both of them in her life. And Lena couldn't help but be floored by her best friend's sentiment. After all, Lena felt hope spark in her chest, making her feel more alive than she had in years. Because maybe...just maybe Kara loved her too.

Lena would like to think that she knows Kara better than just about _anyone_. But last night? Last night, Lena had felt like she was seeing a whole other side to her, one that Kara had always been careful not to show. One of the things that Lena had learned over the course of their friendship, was that Kara was always so open and welcoming when it came to accepting others, but she always withheld a part of herself. Her heart was a closely guarded thing, and Lena had never quite understood why. How could Kara be so forgiving, so kind towards others, while being so hard on herself? It was as if Kara were punishing herself for crimes that Lena wasn't aware she ever committed. Lena wants desperately to understand. She'd tried reaching out countless times, in just about every way that she could think to extend a hand, but Kara was scared to reach out and take it.

But last night something was different. It was as if Kara was opening up to her in a way that she never had before. And the truth is, Lena wanted more. She wanted all of it - she wanted all those pieces of Kara. She wanted to know everything. She wanted Kara to let her inside. Lena could tell that Kara had thought about what she was saying, a lot. In fact, Lena sensed that Kara was choosing her words carefully, as if she were afraid of possibly saying too much. But Lena knew that Kara meant every word. After all, she could see the plethora of emotions in Kara's beautiful blue eyes - eyes that were hidden beneath plain black frames that did nothing to conceal how absolutely gorgeous that Kara really was. Lena could remember fighting back tears at the sentiment, and the adoration that she saw in Kara's eyes, as she spoke directly to Lena and Sam.

Now, Lena silently wishes that she had been brave enough to tell Kara just how much she loved and appreciated her. But in the moment she had been too much of a coward. She had let her brain, and all of her biggest insecurities take rule over her heart. So instead Lena made light of the situation, pointing out that she wasn't wearing water-proof mascara. She'd reciprocated as much as her heart would allow, and silently hoped that it was enough. Kara took it as graciously as she always did, without asking anything more of Lena in return.

Little did Lena know, that this might be the last moment that she ever shared with her best friend, and the love of her life.

* * *

 _The winter winds can blow_  
_But you and I both know_  
_This doesn't have to end_

On Christmas morning, everything is still and quiet, as it almost always is on Christmas. It’s a sharp contrast to the way that things were the night before, when sirens, and chaos, and panic filled the streets of National City. Lena remembers everything about the fight between Supergirl and the new villain that the papers were calling Reign - a villain named for the crown-like mask that she wore to shield her face. The truth is, Lena remembers everything about the haunting figure dressed in all black. She remembers how imposing the shadowed figure had looked as she towered over National City's greatest hero. But more than that, she remembers what it had been like to look the devil right in the eyes and see nothing but cold detachment and malevolence staring right back at her. Even now, hours later, Lena remembers every emotion that had coursed through her body, as she stood frozen in the middle of the street with James.

James had been a hero. He had tried to get people out of the way so that they wouldn't get hurt. And Lena? Lena just stood there, with her eyes fixated on the hero in the red cape, watching the fight transpire with a look of abject horror on her face.

At first, it had been hard for Lena to fully understand what she was seeing. After all, Lena hadn't been aware of the existence of another Superhero until the moment they had appeared. However, as the fight transpired, Lena quickly realized that she had been mistaken. The other figure that Supergirl was fighting, was anything _but_ a hero. Despite what they had the potential to be, the figure in black brought nothing with them but  _death_  and  _destruction_.

Supergirl had been in fight for her life, but even so, her first concern had been for the safety of the little girl and the others watching on the sidewalk. While on the other hand, the figure in black didn't seem to care who got caught up in the fight. They didn't seem to care _who_ they killed. And that thought sent shivers rocketing up Lena's spine.

Now, in hindsight, Lena realizes this was likely Supergirl's downfall. Supergirl had cared too much. She had let herself get distracted, and it ultimately cost her.

As she sits hunched over on the edge of the couch, Lena remembers what it had been like to see the blonde heroine laid out on the concrete after a particularly gruesome blow. She remembers watching Supergirl struggle, as the hero tried to feebly push herself up off of the concrete and back onto her knees. It was at this point of the fight that Supergirl's movements had become disjointed, and Lena realizes that it was because Supergirl was trying to make sense of a world that no longer made any. Supergirl had suffered a concussion, or something equally as terrible, and the Superhero was at a severe disadvantage. From then on, the fight became extremely difficult for Lena to watch. 

Lena had been forced to stand idly by and watch as her friend struggled and gasped for breath. Even now, hours later, Lena can't stop thinking about how Supergirl had taken just a little longer to get up, after getting knocked down each time. However, that isn't what haunts her the most. No. What haunted her most, were the sounds of pain that Supergirl couldn't quite choke back after each blow, as if Supergirl was in actual physical agony that destroyed her the most. Because she knows - Lena knows for a fact that Supergirl's pain tolerance is exceptional, and if Supergirl was in excruciating pain, then she was already on death's door.

Lena remembers watching her friend fight to draw breath into her lungs. She remembers watching Supergirl fight for her right to _live_. And this, this is what ultimately begins to destroy Lena from the inside out. Last night, she had sensed the degree to which Supergirl was suffering, and it didn't seem fair. It wasn't fair that Supergirl had had to bear the brunt of that suffering alone. Lena wishes more than anything that she had been able to intervene - that she had been able to help in some way, but she had been just as helpless as everyone else.

 _If I was not myself_  
_And you were someone else_  
_I'd say so much to you_  
_And I would tell the truth_  
_'Cause I can hardly breathe_

Lena can't bear to close her eyes, because every time she does, she sees the blood cascading down the side of the heroine's face. She had never seen Supergirl bleed before. The truth is, that Lena couldn't imagine such a thing _ever_ happening. She remembers feeling sick at the sight of it, as if she couldn't bear the thought of something happening to someone she desperately cared about. Sure, she'd seen plenty of people bleed in her lifetime, but never once had it elicited such a reaction in her before. And god... She can’t stop seeing the glassy sheen in Supergirl’s icy blue eyes – eyes that even now Lena is terrified that she actually recognized. Because it couldn’t be. _No_. Lena rebells against those thoughts, because they are traitorous and downright _absurd_. She would’ve known it if Kara was Supergirl. Surely, a genius like Lena would have figured it out a long time ago, if such a thing could ever be discerned by her friend’s unusual behavior. Kara had _always_ been strange. That’s just who Kara _is_ , Lena tries to tell herself. But another part of her can't let it go. It niggles at her thoughts, and slowly eats away at her. She's terrified of what it means if she's right, and Kara and Supergirl are in fact the very same. It would mean that she hadn't merely watched Supergirl get beaten half to death, but that she had been watching _Kara_ fight for her life. Lena has to choke back her nausea as she dwells on that thought.

Catco, which on any given day is bustling with activity, is uncharacteristically quiet this morning, manned by a skeleton crew of those unfortunate enough to draw the short straw. Lena lets her head drop into her hands. She hasn’t slept. Every time that she had closed her eyes the night before, Supergirl’s lifeless body had been there taunting her, tormenting her endlessly. But now? Now the exhaustion was taking over, and Lena can't help but want to surrender to it. Still, she has a job to do. They have an important story to get out to the public – even if it is Christmas morning. And, hey, If there was ever a time when people needed the service that they had to offer, it was now.

If the news was anything to go by, the people of National City were just as terrified as Lena and needed to be reassured. They’d just watched the champion of Earth get her ass handed to her by some masked villain. So, no, Lena can't afford to let herself go to sleep right now, because Catco needs to be the one to put their minds at ease. She needs to be the one to speak to the citizens of National City - like the days of old when Cat's unwavering voice spoke to the hearts of millions, empowering and reassuring them.

Lena lifts her head from her hands as she hears her office door creak open. Her head swivels as she seeks to lay eyes on the unforeseen interloper, and Lena jumps up from her seat as she realizes that it’s Alex hovering in her doorway. She looks torn and indecisive in a way that seems completely out of character for her. Lena hastily straightens, and walks towards her, a woman that she’s come to see as a friend these last couple of months. Lena swallows over the sudden lump in her throat as she realizes that Alex looks exhausted beyond belief. Lena wasn’t the only one to have a sleepless night, it seemed. Then, Lena remembers. Alex had been there last night. In fact, she had been one of the first people on the scene after Supergirl’s fall from the top of the skyscraper. Alex had probably been with Supergirl all night.

“Alex,” Lena's voice is gentle as she speaks for the first time. It's as if she's afraid of startling Alex. She tries to keep her voice friendly as she asks, “Hey, what are you doing here?" Then, in rapid succession, she can't help but add, "How is Supergirl?"

"Supergirl?" Alex looks momentarily lost. She's confused in a way that tells Lena that she's not entirely present. Her mind is elsewhere.

"I was there last night," Lena reminds her, "You were one of the first ones on the scene. How is she?"

“Uh, she’s-” Alex’s voice cracks harshly as she tries to speak, and Lena suddenly realizes that it’s because Alex is crying. This alarms Lena more than she cares to admit, mainly because she's never seen Alex in a such a state before. In fact, Alex is one of the strongest women that she knows, so it terrifies her that Alex is breaking before her now. Lena stares as Alex reaches up to wipe away at her tears with her free hand. It’s then that Lena notices the the box that Alex is holding against her torso, with her other hand.

“Alex?” Lena tries again. Her expression morphs into one of worry, as she meets Alex's expressive brown eyes. Lena swallows thickly as she realizes that she sees nothing but devastation in their depths. Lena suddenly knows that this is not going to be an easy conversation.

 _When your hands let go of me_  
_The ice is thinning out_  
_And my feet brace themselves_

“Take a seat, Lena,” Alex instructs her in as steady a voice as she can manage. Lena watches as she walks over, and sinks down onto the couch. Her posture wilts just a little bit due to her exhaustion. “You should probably be sitting down for this.” Lena tentatively lowers herself down onto the sofa next to her, watching as Alex carefully sets the box down onto the coffee table in front of them, as if something breakable and precious is inside.

“What’s going on?” Lena presses, as she reaches out and squeezes Alex's knee in an attempt to offer her comfort. Lena is aware of how Alex's gaze becomes fixated on her hand, and Lena quickly pulls it away, afraid that she's overstepped. She and Kara have always been so tactile with one another, that it's hard for Lena to remember that most people don't like being touched. "Alex, hey, you can talk to me. You can tell me anything. You know that, right?"

“She would have wanted you to be the first to know,” Alex says finally, as she looks up and meets Lena's gaze. It's then that everything in Lena goes cold.

“I’m afraid that I don’t know what you mean,” Lena tells her calmly, but she really _does_. Lena feels all of her worst fears come to some nightmarish realization. She suddenly feels oddly detached from it all. It's as if she's watching all of this happen from outside of her own body. It's a coping mechanism of hers. She wants to pretend that she doesn't know, but the truth is, she actually  _does_. She knows _exactly_ what Alex is trying to say. And that? That terrifies her more than anything. Inside, Lena is already falling apart. It feels like her whole world has just been shattered.

“She fought as hard as she could,” Alex breathes in a quiet voice. Lena watches the muscles in Alex's neck bob, as she swallows, “We talked right before the fight, so I know that she gave it everything she had, but it – it wasn’t enough. I’m so _sorry_ , Lena, but it wasn’t… it wasn’t _enough_.”

“No,” Lena denies it. She denies this truth, because Supergirl  _can’t_ be dead. There’s just no way. “No, you’re lying. This is  _Supergirl_  we're talking about. She’s nearly invulnerable. She can’t _die_.”

“Lena,” Alex's voice breaks on the word, and Lena, acting on instinct, pulls the other woman into her arms, wrapping her arms around Alex as tightly as she can. She feels Alex bury her face in her blazer, and hears the harsh discordant sobs that pass through the fabric as Alex falls apart. Everything in Lena rebels at this. She doesn't want to believe that any of this is happening. But it is. This is reality, and Lena doesn't know what to do. How is she supposed to survive this painful agony that is tearing its way through her very being?

 _I'm there in the water_  
_Still looking for ya_  
_I'm there in the water_  
_Can't you see, can't you see?_

“Oh, Alex,” Lena soothes as she holds onto her, rocking her gently back and forth on the couch as Alex continues sobbing into her neck, "Shh. It's okay. I've got you. I've got you, okay? Just let it out. I'm here for you." She can feel Alex quaking in her arms, can feel the brunette’s body physically rending itself apart with each sob, and it breaks her own heart. She knows it can only mean one thing. Alex is telling the truth. Supergirl didn’t make it. _Kara_ didn’t make it.

“We worked on her all night. We did everything that we could, but we _lost_ her, Lena,” Alex says brokenly. Now that Lena can see Alex up close, she can see the red in Alex’s eyes. These were not the first tears that Alex Danvers has shed over this, but perhaps they were the most Alex had allowed herself to shed. “I’m so sorry.”

“Are you - Are you saying what I think you're saying? Kara is-“ Lena can’t even trust her own voice to speak. Alex gently pulls away in order to look into Lena's eyes. She knows, at the very least, that Lena deserves that much from her. The second that Alex meets her eyes, Lena already knows. Kara is gone. The love of her life is gone from this world, and there's absolutely nothing that Lena can do about it.

“She wanted to tell you. She really did,” Alex interrupts her, “There were so many times that she almost told you everything, but I always talked her out of it. I convinced her that you would be safer if she kept it from you."

"Safe?" Lena spits the word, as anger flares in her chest, trying to drown out her heartbreak. "Are you kidding me right now, Alex?"

"No," Alex swallows.

"I had a right to know!" Lena cries out. "She was my best friend! No, that's not right. She's the woman I-" Lena's next word is choked off, as a sob tears its way free from her throat.

"She loved you, Lena," Alex tells her in a broken voice. "And by that I mean she really _really_ loved you. She would've given anything to keep you safe, even if it meant that she had to lie to you to do it. I know you're upset, and the truth is that you have every right to be. I shouldn't have meddled. I shouldn't have stopped her from telling you, because you're right, you deserved to know the truth. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I know that doesn't mean a lot right now, but I hope... I hope that maybe someday you can forgive me.”

“I loved her, too,” Lena speaks, her voice sounding more broken than it has ever sounded before. “But I guess that doesn’t matter anymore, now does it? Cause she’s gone.”

“Of course it matters,” Alex says almost angrily. “She loved you, Lena. My sister loved you, and that _matters_ to me. And I know that it sure as hell mattered to _her_ too.”

“She left me _here_!” Lena shouts angrily, with white-hot tears burning in her eyes. “She left me here, _alone_! She promised that she would always be here to protect me – she promised that she wasn't going anywhere, and then she _left_ _me_ , Alex!”

“Lena,” Alex sighs, and shakes her head in sadness. “You’re not alone, okay? I _promise_. I’m promising you right now that you will never _ever_ be alone, because you have me now, okay?”

“I’m sorry,” Lena breathes, “I’m sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. It’s just – I am so _so_ angry, Alex. _God_! Do we even know anything about the woman who killed her?”

“She’s Kryptonian,” Alex swallows, “Kara didn’t even know who she was at first, but we recently figured out who she is. She was created in a lab on Krypton. She’s a world-killer who dispatches justice as she sees fit. The prophecies are dim, Lena, I’m not going to lie. There are very dark days ahead for us all. And now that Kara is gone, we don't have anyone to stop her.”

"How?" Lena asks tearfully, "I still don't understand _how_ she lost, Alex. Kara - Supergirl is the strongest person on planet. She's stronger than Superman, even. So how - how could she have lost?"

“Reign was a lot stronger than Kara,” Alex informs her, “Superior in every way. The truth is, her powers were off the charts. I'm sorry to tell you this, but Kara – _Kara_ didn’t stand a chance. I think she knew that once they started, but Kara wasn’t going to back down. She _couldn't_. Kara saw herself as the last line of defense between Reign and the people of Earth. Despite what you might think, she couldn't just step aside. That would have gone against _everything_ that Kara stands for. She was - She was _brave_  until the very end, Lena. You have a right to be angry, but I hope you know that what Kara did last night was for you. What she did was for you, and for every other person on this planet that she swore to protect. She was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice, because that's just who she  _is_. _You_ know it, and _I_ know it. Sure, you can be angry with her for leaving you here, but she only did what she felt was right. And I know that she would've made the exact same choice, if she had to do it all over again.” Lena shakes her head. "The good thing about all of this is that we learned a lot from her fight with Reign. Perhaps the Legion of superheroes can use it to defeat her. Kara's sacrifice won't be in vain."

"How can you talk about sacrifice like that?" Lena asks. "I know you loved her, Alex. Hell, she always talked about you like you were her whole world. So how can you sit here, mere hours after she's passed, and talk about her like that? She's _dead_."

"No! She will _never_ be dead," Alex denies her, "Not as long as there are people on this planet - people like _me_ , people like _you,_  who work to make the world a better place like she did."

"I want to believe that so badly," Lena says truthfully, "I really do, but I - I need time. I just lost her, Alex."

"I understand," Alex says with immense understanding in her eyes.

 _I'm there in the water_  
_Still looking for ya_  
_I'm there in the water_  
_Can't you see, can't you see?_

"You wanna know what the worst part about all of this is?" Lena asks her tearfully, "I never even got to tell her how I feel. She'll never know how much I-"

"I think she _knew_ ," Alex says, with a reassuring squeeze of Lena's hand, "Lena, you may not have ever told her how you felt, but I'm telling you, she knew how much you cared about her. And that was enough. That was _enough_ for her."

She watches Alex pick up the box from the coffee table, and feels her hands begin to shake as Alex hands it to her.

“She would have wanted you to have these,” Alex informs her, as Lena carefully lifts the lid from the box. "You’re holding everything I _could_ give you - a piece of Kara Danvers, and a piece of Supergirl - in your hands.”

Lena chokes back a sob as she lays eyes on Kara’s cape, and on the pair of black spectacles that sit nestled on top of it. “I know it’s not much, but it’s – it’s something. Unfortunately, I couldn’t give you the Supersuit, because it was destroyed in the fight." Alex hesitates, and Lena watches as she reaches up to paw at the back of her neck. She looks so utterly like Kara in that moment that it's almost laughable. "Actually, that's a lie. The suit survived the fight, but we kind of destroyed it when we cut it off of her at the DEO."

"But you still have the suit?"

"Yeah," Alex nods. "We have it, but the truth is I - I haven't been able to look at it since everything happened. I don't think I ever will be able to."

"Why not?" Lena asks.

"I'll tell you, but it has to stay between us," Alex breathes. "Can you promise me that?"

"Of course," Lena says as if the answer is obvious. 

"Reign's insignia is burned into the fabric over the crest," Alex nearly whispers. Lena's tears spill over and cascade down her skin.

"And I..." Alex shakes her head. "I just can't bear to look at it. She took everything that Kara loved and _destroyed_ it, Lena. Kara loved that suit. But it was more than that...it's about the crest that Kara wore. That symbol meant everything to Kara. It was a symbol of hope, the crest of the House of El. Reign taking that from her, is the equivalent of spitting in Kara's face. It makes me so _livid_."

"She never told me what it meant," Lena says as she meets Alex's eyes.

"Their family motto is El-mayarah," Alex tells her. "It means stronger together." Lena closes her eyes.

"Lena?" Alex notices the look of devastation on Lena's face.

"It's a bit ironic, isn't it?" Lena asks her. "Because in the end, Kara was out there all alone. She fought on her own, and she bore that suffering all by herself, Alex. So tell me something! Where...where was everyone else? Where was Superman when Kara needed him? Where were you?"

"Lena," Alex sighs, "The answer to that is somewhat complicated."

"Yeah? Well, try me!" Lena challenges her.

"We knew that we couldn't intervene," Alex explains. "We knew that Reign was Kryptonian, and that she was strong...but I don't think we knew _how_ strong. By the time we sent in back-up, it was too late."

"And Superman?" Lena says with an undeniable anger in her voice, "Where was he? Where was he while his cousin was being beaten into the ground?"

"I can't answer for him," Alex answers, "But I can tell you that Kara didn't like it when he intervened in the past. And as the champion of Earth, her wishes likely take precedent over his."

"I'd still like to give him a piece of my mind," Lena tells her honestly.

"I know," Alex nods. "I would too."

 _Oh yeah_  
_I'm dead in the water_  
_Still looking for ya_  
_I'm dead in the water_  
_Can't you see, can't you see?_

"I'm sorry," Alex apologizes, as she looks down at the box. "I know I could apologize a million times and it won't make things any better, but I am sorry, Lena. I wish...I wish I could go back and do things differently. I would give anything to go back and save her. She wasn't just my sister. She was my whole world, too."

"I know. I know she was."

"Are you sure you really want to give this to me?" Lena asks as she looks down at the items in her hands. "Am I even worthy of such a precious gift?"

"Of course you are," Alex shoots back. "There is no one more deserving of this than you. You were the love of her life, Lena. Just promise me something. Promise me that you'll cherish it, like you cherished her?"

"O-Of course," Lena says with a break of her voice.

“Alex, I don’t even know what to say,” Lena says as her tears continue to fall. Lena no longer makes any effort to hold them back. "I don't even know how to begin to say thank you."

“That’s just it,” Alex shakes her head as she stands, “You don’t have to say anything. Look, I know how much you love my sister, Lena. And the truth is, I _wanted_ to do this for you. You deserve it.” The moment is broken as Alex's phone starts going off, startling them both. “Shit. I’m really sorry, but I’ve – I’ve got to go. We’ve been doing everything we can to hold back the story, but even so, the White House and the President can only hold the back Press Corps for so long. I uh - I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but the story is going to break in a half an hour, so you're probably going to want to call in as many people as you can beforehand. Because once the story is out? Things are going to get absolutely crazy. In fact, the world might very well descend into _chaos_."

"I don't know if I can do this,” Lena finds herself admitting, as she looks into Alex's deep brown eyes. 

"You _can_ ," Alex tells her. "Just do your job, Lena. And please, do me a favor. When you guys write your story? Don't hold anything back. Make sure the world knows about the kind of person that my sister really was. She wasn't just a _hero_. She was a hero with a heart of gold - a person who wanted to do as much good as she possibly could with the time she was given. She was the kind of person who would do _anything_ for a friend. And despite what people are going to say, she never _ever_ shied away from a fight." And with that, Alex is gone.

Lena stares down at the items in her lap. She just wishes that she had been brave enough to tell Kara how she felt about her. She wishes that she and Kara had gotten the chance they deserve. But she knows now that she’s not allowed to have happiness in her life. That much had been made abundantly clear by the universe.

With a spark of determination, Lena sets the box down on the coffee table in front of her, and stands. She's going to do her job, damn it, and she's going to do it for Kara. Because Alex is right, that's what Kara _deserves_.

 _I'm dead in the water_  
_Still looking for ya_  
_I'm dead in the water_  
_Can't you see, can't you see?_


	2. Hold On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena goes to the DEO to say goodbye to Kara, and finds out that Alex lied to her. Along the way, she gains a lot of insight into her relationship with Kara, realizing that there were plenty of missed chances between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I couldn't leave Kara dead. I mean, I honestly tried to leave it as a one off, but it was eating me up inside, so I changed it. I already have a good idea of where I'm taking this bad-boy, so you can probably see me laying the foundations for that in this chapter.
> 
> Thanks for the love and support, guys! I don't know what I'd do without you. I'm sorry for starting yet another story, but I feel like i can take this somewhere worthwhile and I didn't want to quit on it.

_When hope and love has been lost_  
_And you fall to the ground_  
_You must find a way_  
_When the darkness descends_  
_And you're told it's the end_  
_You must find a way_

“Mr. Olsen, do you have those layouts for me?” Lena asks in a business-like voice, as she waltzes into Catco's Art Department. Her voice sounds confident and authoritative in a way that it hasn’t for a long time. She only narrowly avoids a head-on collision with another employee, and has to side-step them, as they rush out of the doorway that Lena is stepping into. She has to suppress a groan as their elbow catches her in the side, but Lena quickly brushes it off.

"Oh my god, Miss Luthor, I am so _so_ sorry," the employee looks horrified as they realize who it is that they've just run into, "I wasn't looking where I was going! Are you - Are you okay? Do you need anything? I can get some ice if you-"

"No, that's okay, Val," Lena tells her, "I'm okay. _Honestly_. Don't worry about me. We're all running around in different directions. It was bound to happen at least  _once_. Just go do your job."

"Yes, Ma'am," Val gives Lena a smile and a salute. "Sorry again!" she calls out as she rushes out into the hall and disappears. Lena lets out a long breath, and rubs at the sore spot on her ribcage, before moving inside.

Alex had been right about one thing. Everything had descended into chaos after the President's announcement. Lena hadn't even needed to call in the Senior staff, before people started rushing in. They were all eager to get to work.

Lena had never been more grateful for James' leadership. Lena had been in shock, when she'd been ambushed by the Senior staff in her office. Fortunately, he had known just what to say. He had been able to calm everyone in a way that she couldn't. Snapper Carr had burst into her office no later than five minutes after the announcement, and began pitching her headlines. James had shot him down as graciously as possible and assured him that he and Lena had already started on an article, and that it was almost finished. Snapper hadn't seem pleased that she was hijacking the story in such a way, but James had stuck up for her, and claimed that he didn't care _what_ Snapper thought. It was their company, and they were going to run it as they saw fit.

It took her a while, but Lena finally managed to recover.

"How's it coming in here?" Lena asks calmly. However, this calmness couldn’t be further from how she feels on the inside. Inside she’s broken, desperate, and scared. Kara is gone. She’s gone and Lena doesn’t know how to live in a world without her. She tries to push those feelings down, tries to be strong, even though a huge part of her feels so broken. Her heart has been shattered into thousands of jagged pieces.

 _When God decides to look the other way_  
_And a clown takes the throne_  
_We must find a way_  
_Face the firing squad_  
_Against all the odds_  
_You will find a way_

Lena clenches her jaw in determination, her teeth grinding together, as she strides further into the art department’s office. James is standing in front of the table in the center of the room; it’s backlight shining right through the negatives laid out on its surface. Lena falters as she lays eyes on the picture meant to compose Catco's next cover. She stops cold, and forgets how to move, as her eyes suddenly take in every detail. She’s not ready. The truth is, she could never possibly be prepared for this moment. She’s not prepared to see Kara’s face staring back at her from its surface. Lena swallows, and forgets how to breathe, as her eyes take in every detail. Kara’s eyes are shining, exuding such confidence and bravado, that it’s as if she’s standing right before Lena. The crinkles at the corners of her eyes, draw her attention to Kara's vibrant blue eyes - the dimples at the corner of her mouth, draw her eyes to the depth of the smile on Kara's lips. Kara’s smile is entirely genuine, and it's bright. In fact, it’s so bright that it's nearly blinding. The truth is, it reminds Lena faintly of the sun. Lena isn’t sure how a still photograph could ever exhibit so much personality. She wouldn’t have believed it were even possible, if she wasn’t looking at photographic proof of it right in front of her very eyes. The heartache that Lena suddenly feels in her chest is caustic – it _burns_. Lena's vision blurs as tears gather in her eyes, before they inevitably spill over and leak from their corners. Lena reaches up to wipe them away, as she wars with her emotions.

“Lena?” she vaguely hears James speaking to her. But it sounds as if he’s speaking to her from some distant place. “Lena,” he tries again, walking towards her. He waves a hand in front of her face, searches her eyes for some hint of recognition. Lena jolts back to life with a jolt. “Hey, I think I lost you for a minute there,” he jokes with her, though the levity in his voice falls flat.

She looks into his eyes, and realizes with a pang that he looks almost as lost as she feels.

Lena tears her eyes away, walking the last couple of steps to the table. Once there, she runs her fingers over the planes of Kara’s face, tracing its beautiful, elegant lines. James must see this - he must sense her thoughts, because he says, “That was always my favorite photograph of her.” Lena looks up from the photograph and back into his eyes. There’s an undeniable sadness evident there. In fact, he looks as devastated as she is. It’s as if he’s lost a lot more than just a mere friend. Then, Lena understands, perhaps for the first time, why he's never particularly cared for her. She suddenly understands why he has always been so cold to her. It wasn’t just because she was a Luthor. I mean, she’s sure that that’s a big part of it. She’s sure that his instinct was always to protect Kara, the woman he loved, from anyone that could do her harm. But it was more than that. Lena was also one of only ones that had the means to break Kara's heart. Lena recoils. “Oh my god. You were in love with her.”

“Shit. Is it that obvious?” James asks her. “I thought I'd gotten better at hiding it.” Then, he adds. “I - I’m surprised that she never told you.”

“She might’ve mentioned something happening between you once or twice, but she made it sound fleeting. Of course, now I realize that she must have downplayed things a bit.” Lena laughs. “Wow, I feel like an idiot.”

“Lena, no,” James shakes his head, “She was _so_ in love with you. And anyone who ever listened to Kara talk about you, could see it. It’s just that she had this unwavering belief in you…this passion in her voice when she talked about you, that it was nearly impossible to ignore. The truth is, it kind of made me resent you. I hated you for winning her heart in a way that Winn or I never _could_.”

“Winn, too?” Lena asks with a disbelieving flash of her bright green eyes. She doesn't know why this revelation surprises her so much. After all, it was Kara they were talking about. It would be almost impossible to get close to Kara, and not fall madly in love with her. 

“Can you really blame us?” James asks, as he meets her eyes. “It’s _Kara_. Who on earth could be friends with Kara and not be madly in love with her? She’s one of a kind. Literally.”

“Not any of us, apparently,” Lena chuckles. “Do you really think she loved me?”

“No, I don’t think it, I _know_ it,” James replies. “We had a talk, not too long ago, when she mentioned wanting to ask you out. She said that she finally felt ready to try and find happiness again after Mon-El. But it was more than that. She wanted to find happiness with _you_. She was planning to ask you at the Christmas party, actually, but I guess that something happened and she chickened out.”

“Oh god,” Lena gasps, doubling over, as his words hit her like a punch to the gut.

“Lena,” she flinches as she feels his hand on her shoulder, “Lena, hey. What’s wrong?”

“I – She,” Lena straightens, with an expression of panic on her face, “She heard Sam and I talking about you at the party, and she must’ve misinterpreted my response, as -  _interest_ for you. That’s why she chickened out. She thought I had feelings for _you_.” She didn’t know what was more horrible; the fact that Kara never knew how she felt because of some ridiculous misunderstanding, or the fact that even if they hadn’t gotten their wires crossed somehow that Kara still would have died before they ever had a chance to start something.

“What?” James looks confused.

“She said that she thought you and I had chemistry,” Lena swallows, “I _knew_. I knew something seemed off. She was trying so hard to convince me that I should ask you out, and the whole time she was trying to cover up her own disappointment. She was _hurt_  because of something I did. I’m an idiot.”

“Lena,” James’ voice is gentle, as a sob tears its way free from Lena's throat.

“I have to go,” Lena tells him. “The layout looks good. Send it to print.”

“Lena,” James grabs a hold of her hand in order to stop her from leaving. He holds tight as he senses the degree of panic inside of her.

“Do you have the article?” Lena asks him. “Do you have a copy of the article that I can take with me?”

“With you where?” James questions.

“I’m going to see Kara,” Lena says with determination, “I’m going to the DEO.”

“I’m not sure that’s a great idea, Lena,” James shakes his head.

“Don’t try and stop me,” Lena almost threatens, as she wrenches her hand from his grip. “You know how much I love her. I just…I _need_ to say goodbye to her, and I need to do it properly.”

“Lena,” James’ voice cracks, “What’s left of Kara, isn’t _Kara_. She’s gone. I’m begging you. Don’t – Don’t do that to yourself. You saw her after the fight. You _know_ how bad it was. I’m telling you. You don’t want to see her like that again.”

“Please,” Lena’s voice breaks, “Please, James. I need you to understand.”

“Okay,” he relents. “Just wait a second. I think I have a copy of the article floating around here somewhere.” He tells her, as he rushes over to the desk. He roots frantically through the papers on its surface, and produces the coveted article. “Here,” he says as he hands it to her. “Do you know how to get there?” he questions. Then, he thinks better of it. Of course Lena doesn’t know how to get to the DEO. She’s never been there before. He scribbles down directions, in barely legible handwriting, and shoves the piece of paper into her hand. “That’ll get you there. Once you walk in, ask for Alex straightaway. If that doesn’t get you in, then ask for Winn. He’ll be able to get you to where you need to be.”

“Thanks, James,” Lena gives him a weak smile. It doesn’t even come close to what her smiles used to be.

“You’re welcome,” he says as he pulls her in for a tearful hug. “Give her my love?” Lena doesn’t trust her voice to speak, so she just nods. She pulls out her phone and texts her driver to meet her in front of the main doors. Then, she turns and heads out the door.

 _Dig down_  
_Dig down_  
_Dig down_  
_And find faith_  
_When you're close to the edge_  
_With a gun to your head_  
_You must find a way_

She quickly makes her way back to her office and gathers her things. She moves back to the elevator, using the private one for the first time since taking the reins at Catco all those months ago. She does this primarily because she can’t bear the thought of waiting a second longer than she has to, in order to see Kara again. She rides the elevator down to the main lobby, and moves briskly across the main lobby. When she pushes open the main doors, she startles as a loud crack of thunder echoes through the air around her.

With a groan of frustration, Lena realizes that it is now raining. She can smell the moisture in the air drifting up to her nostrils. As soon as she gets over the fright of the lightning and thunder, she tentatively steps outside, hovering beneath the awning shielding Catco’s main doors. And as she stands under the protection of the awning, Lena’s glances back and forth, straining her eyes as she looks for her towncar’s familiar black silhouette. But the visibility is absolutely terrible. It is an extremely heavy rain, the kind that bounces back up from the pavement just a little bit before finally settling upon its surface, and Lena is momentarily mesmerized. She swallows and steps out into the torrent, sighing as the first drops of water bombard her.

Lena closes her eyes, lifting her eyes towards the heavens as she focuses on the cleansing power of the rain. She feels an immense sense of relief, as the cool water meets her warm skin for the first time and begins to trickle down the sides of her face. She lifts her arms to the sides, so that they are pointing straight outwards, perpendicular to her body. It is fitting, she thinks, how the sky seems to perfectly share her mood. The world is mourning the loss of Supergirl right along with her. With a deep breath she continues walking into the middle of the driveway, letting the rain pour down on her, soaking her to the bone. She knows she should be cold. After all, the raindrops themselves are chilly against her warm skin. But for some reason, Lena can't seem to make herself care about it.

She knows that if Kara were there, she'd be yelling at Lena and chastising her for doing something so reckless. But the fact of the matter is, that Kara _isn't_  with her. She's gone. And Lena feels an overwhelming sense of bitterness at that fact. She'll never hear Kara's voice again.

Lena has to choke back another sob, as she thinks about how much she misses her already. It's not fair.

Lena looks down with a spike of alarm as her towncar speeds to a stop right in front of her. Her driver jumps out, and gives her a peculiar look as he notices how disheveled she looks.

“Miss, what are you doing?” he asks her, as he hastily throws open the back door of the towncar for her. “It's freezing out here. You’ll catch a cold.”

Lena pays him no mind. She tosses her briefcase into the back seat before slipping into the car after it. With distaste, she realizes that during her little stunt she had gotten quite soaked in the process. It wasn't the wetness that bothered her, but more the idea that she might ruin the black leather seats. With another shiver, Lena turns on the heat and cranks it up to full blast.

When her driver situates himself in the front seat once more, Lena hands him the piece of paper with instructions on it, and tells him to drive her there as quickly and as safely as possible. She’s pleased when he raises the partition and speeds off into the waning sunlight.

When they arrive at the DEO, Lena hops out again, and rushes for the doors. Tendrils of her hair stick to her forehead, as she runs. Beads of water drip from her long lashes, and her cheeks flush with color from the cold. She’s shivering by the time she pushes her way inside the nondescript doors. There’s a security officer posted just inside. He addresses her immediately, but Lena is too preoccupied with looking around to really notice him.

“Hello, Miss,” he greets her, “Merry Christmas! Can I help you with something?”

Lena's eyes move hurriedly over the room, taking in the marble flooring and the wall across from her. She has to admit that she's a bit impressed. The DEO hides itself well.

"Miss?" he tries again.

“Yes, Hi,” Lena smiles, and gives him the best smile she can manage in such a situation. Though, part of her knows that it must look terribly fake. She’s never been particularly good at faking happiness.

In Kara’s presence, smiling was easy, because Kara’s happiness was almost contagious. In fact, most times Lena found herself having to restrain some of that happiness – to have to choke some of it down, because she was afraid of revealing how she truly felt. But now - now she was afraid that she would never be able to smile again. “I need to talk to a friend of mine. I need to speak with Agent Danvers.”

“Agent Danvers, you say?” he asks as he walks over to the person manning the front desk and says something to the man under his breath. The man responds, “I’m sorry, but it appears that Agent Danvers is indisposed at the moment.”

“Then, I need to talk with Winn Schott,” Lena tells him. “ _Please_. It's important. I’m a friend of Supergirl’s.”

“I’m sorry. What did you say that your name was?” he asks Lena.

“I _didn't_ ,” Lena replies, as she crosses her arms over her chest. There's a hint of impatience and defensiveness in her posture as she says,“I'm Lena Luthor. Look, I know you don't know me, but Kara and I - _Kara and I_ were best friends.”

"Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry," he clears his throat. He has the decency to look guilty as he senses how upset that she is. "It's just that I didn't realize. I mean, I'd never seen you here before, but I-" He seems to catch himself, because he trails off and then says, "Let me see what I can do, okay?"

"Thank you,” Lena says gratefully, as her posture suddenly relaxes. She watches as he walks over to the desk and picks up the phone. He talks into it, with a volume that she can't overhear from her position just inside of the main doors, and then hangs it up. He has a smile on his face, as he walks back over. "Good news! Winn vouched for you, as I knew he would. He's coming down now."

"Thank you," Lena whispers as she meets his eyes, "I'm sorry if I seemed cold to you before, it's just... I don't think I have to tell you how difficult it has been for me."

"Think no more of it," he says as he squeezes her shoulder. "I really liked her too, you know. She uh - She didn't come in this entrance often, because she could _fly in_ , but when she did, she was always so kind to me. She loved talking to me about Sarah, my little girl. She was just the nicest person that you will ever meet," He has a distant look in his eyes, as he adds, "And It's really hard, imagining something happening to her like that."

"Yeah," Lena swallows. She tries not to think about it again, tries not to picture the sight of Kara lying in that crater, but the images come unbidden to her mind and Lena has to shake them away.

“I'm sorry, but could I see your bag for a moment?” he asks her, as he holds out a hand. “I need to scan it to make sure that you’re not…”

“Smuggling anything in?” Lena asks him, with a hint of a laugh. She hands him her handbag.

"We have to do this with everyone that comes through," he explains.

“Hey, don’t worry," Lena tells him, "I'm not offended, I promise. However, since you're about to find out anyway, I should probably tell you that there’s a firearm inside."

"Really," he looks mildly impressed.

"It’s not that I intend to cause any harm," Lena says conversationally. "It’s just that I tend to keep one at the ready. Certain people in my life have made a habit of trying to kill me, and unfortunately that list only seems to be getting longer.”

“I’ll have to check this,” he says as he fishes it out of the bag. She nods, and watches as he places it into a safe. He hands her a receipt for it, and says, “You can pick it up before you leave.” Then, he sends her bag through the security scanner. When it flashes green, she lets out a relieved breath. She assumes that means that she’s passed their little test. The security guard hands her bag back to her, and Lena re-situates it in the crook of her arm. When she looks up again, it’s to meet a familiar face.

 _When friends are thin on the ground_  
_And they try to divide us_  
_We must find a way_  
_We have entered the fray_  
_And we will not obey_  
_We must find a way_  
_Yeah_

“Lena,” Winn greets her, “Hey.” He surprises her when he pulls her in for a hug. It's as if he knows that she desperately needs one. Lena clings to him for a moment and feels tears build in her eyes. "So," he hedges, as he pulls away, "Are you gonna tell me what you're doing at the DEO?"

“I think you know,” Lena tells him, as she takes her bag from the security officer. “Come on, Winn, you have to know  _exactly_ why I’m here.”

“Come with me,” Winn instructs her, and gestures her over to the elevator. Together they ride it up to the 32nd floor. “Lena, look, you’re right. I know why you’re here.”

“Good,” Lena murmurs, as she leans back against the back wall, letting her eyes close for a moment.

“The thing is,” he sighs, “I really don’t think they’ll let you see her, Lena.”

“What do you mean?” Lena questions, as her eyes open once more and she looks to Winn. “Winn, why  _wouldn’t_ _they_ let me see her? What on earth could they _possibly_ have to hide?”

“A lot more than you think,” Winn shoots back, before he can really think about what he is saying. She nearly laughs as he claps two hands over his mouth in horror when he finally realizes what he's just said.

“What in the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I –“ Winn actually sputters a little bit, as the elevator doors peal open, revealing the 32nd floor. Lena’s first sight of the DEO is overwhelming. There are so many details for her to take in, that it honestly makes Lena’s head spin just a little bit. But then her attention is drawn by something else in the middle of the vaulted room, or rather, I should say  _someone_ else.

“What are you doing here?” Lena questions, as her eyes fixate on Mon-El. “No, scratch that! _How_ are you here?” Lena’s eyes narrow as they’re suddenly drawn to Mon-El’s hand. She feels her stomach turn, as she takes in the way his fingers are tangled with the beautiful stranger’s beside him. The woman next to him is beautiful. Hell, she looks like a greek goddess, if Lena is being completely honest with herself. Still, her beauty has nothing on Kara's.

“Lena,” Mon-El breathes in shock. “I – You mean Kara didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?” Lena spits with a hint of accusation and venom in her voice. “That you’re back?” Then, impatiently, she adds, “You still haven’t answered either of my questions, you know.”

“I’m from the future,” he explains, before he gestures to the woman beside him, “ _We’re_ from the future. After Kara put me in the pod, I went through a wormhole and by the time I made it back to Earth in the 31st Century, it was safe for me to stay here. L-Corp develops a cure about 400 years from now. The truth is, it is such a long story that it’s hard for me to _really_ explain everything that I need to, but the short of it is that _I’m here_ because _you_ _made it safe_ for me to be here.”

“Are you serious?” Lena gasps. There's a hint of disbelief in her voice when she says, “I really played a part in you being able to come back?”

"You did," Imra answers her, with a smile on her face.

“Lena, you leave a legacy behind, the likes of which have never been seen before,” Mon-El informs her, “Seriously, you’re one of the greatest minds that humanity has had to offer in all of its history. You’re kind of a _hero_ , not just to me, but to my wife, as well. We couldn’t have done half of the good that we did, if it wasn’t for the tech that your company created.”

“Wait a minute... Did you just say _wife_?” Lena asks him, with her throat closing up on her.

“Yeah,” he nods. He looks almost proud, as he says, “This is my wife, Imra Ardeen. Imra, this is Lena Luthor.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Lena smiles as she holds out a hand, though inside her emotions are a mess. Why didn’t Kara tell her that Mon-El was back? Or that he was _married_ to another woman? Was it because she was still in love with him, and was mourning the loss of that relationship? Or was it because she had already moved on before he ever made a reappearance in Kara's life, and Kara didn't want to make a big deal of it? Lena honestly didn't know.

“Lena,” Imra gives her an earnest smile, as she gives Lena’s hand a gentle shake, “It's so nice to finally meet you. Mon-El told me so much about you and your adventures, but I had no idea that you were so _beautiful_."

"You flatter me," Lena laughs. She doesn't want to admit it, but she really likes Mon-El's wife. A part of her feels disloyal for feeling that way, but she has a feeling that Kara would forgive her, if she were here. Kara doesn't have a bad bone in her body, and Lena knows that she'd want Mon-El to be happy.

"I don't," Imra assures her, with a jovial laugh of her own. "It's just really nice to meet the woman who married-”

“Imra,” Mon-El cuts her off before Imra can get the next word out, “Stop! You know we _can’t_.”

“Right,” Imra blushes, “ _Sorry_. I forget that I’m not allowed to talk about that stuff."

"There are certain things that we're not allowed to mention," Mon-El explains, "We have laws that prevent us from mentioning events that haven't happened yet, because revealing those events could alter the timeline in a way that would have serious ramifications."

"Ah," Lena nods. "I get it now. It's about planting the seed. Any choices that I make, need to be made of my own sheer will, and _not_ _because_ I believe it is what is meant to happen."

"Exactly," Mon-El nods.

“Lena?” Lena turns away from the couple, as she hears her name from a familiar pair of lips. Lena stiffens as her eyes skate right over Alex, and onto the figure standing next to her.

“What in the hell is _she_ doing here?” Lena asks icily, as she glares in her mother's direction.

“Now, Lena, that’s no way to greet your mother,” Lillian says with a knowing look in her icy blue eyes, “I came to the DEO in order to offer my assistance, dear. There’s no need to be so _cold_.”

“Oh please,” Lena scoffs, “If you came here for some purpose, it was probably to _gloat_. Hell, why aren’t you rejoicing? You've always wanted her dead.”

“Lena, stop!” Alex commands as she steps forwards, placing herself between the two of them. She lifts a hand and presses it to Lena's sternum, holding her back. "She really did come here to help. So you need to just calm down for a second, okay?"

"Fine," Lena acquiesces, "I'll play nice, but _only_ if she promises to behave herself." 

“Lena," Alex sighs, "Not that I mean to seem rude, but why are you here?”

“I came to see Kara,” Lena tells Alex with a newfound sense of determination. “I need to say goodbye.”

“Lena,” Alex shakes her head, “I’m sorry, but you can’t. I can’t let you see her.”

“Why not?” Lena challenges, “Surely, you won’t deny me the chance to say goodbye, Alex." Lena holds Alex's gaze as she says, "Look, I appreciate what you did for me. I’m grateful for what you gave me, but it’s not _enough_. I need to see her. I need to see her one last time.”

“Lena,” Alex nearly groans. Her hand falls from Lena's sternum, and Lena watches as she runs a hand over her face, “You don’t understand. This isn’t something that’s in my power, okay?" Alex has to bite back a growl of frustration. "I don’t have any say over this. I'm under orders from my boss _and_ the President of the United States. I’m _sorry_.”

Lena opens her mouth to protest, but one of the medical team comes rushing towards them, shattering the moment.

“Alex, it’s Kara, come quickly!” he shouts at her, before running down a nearby hallway.

"No," Alex breathes, "Not again!" Alex’s face tightens for a moment, and then she’s sprinting off after him, with Lillian and Lena hot on her heels. And as Lena comes into sight of the room at the end of the hall, she screeches to a halt. She suddenly realizes what it is that Alex didn’t want her to see, as she lays eyes on Kara for the first time since her fight with Reign.

 _Dig down_  
_Dig down_  
_Dig down_  
_And find faith_  
_When they've left you for dead_  
_(Dig down)_  
_And you can only see red_  
_(Dig down)_  
_You must find a way_

Kara is lying in a large water tank in the center of the room, with wires and tubes running into its depths. Lena gulps, attempting to swallow over the gaping and painful lump in her throat as she takes in every detail. Inside, Lena is a mess of emotion. She feels her thoughts begin to race as she experiences disquiet. Kara's immobile body is floating in the tank, suspended in its waters. Through the glass walls, Lena can hear the blare of the alarms going off in the the room, and Lena’s heart is suddenly in her throat as she realizes the implications of what she’s seeing. Kara’s not dead. She might be comatose, but Kara is still alive. _Alive_. Lena feels hope swell up inside of her, making her feel in a way she hadn't since Alex told her Kara had died.

“She’s alive?” Lena breathes, as her eyes linger on the heart monitor mounted on the wall of the small room. It was currently going haywire, but Lena swears that she can make out a clear definitive beat moving across its surface. 

“You thought she was dead?” Lillian says, with just enough inflection in her voice to be taken as a question. Lillian finally seems to understand why Lena is so upset.

"Of course I did!" Lena hisses. "Alex _told_ _me_ she was. She said that they'd lost her. Why would I have any reason to doubt her?"

"It would be wise not to trust anything they say, Lena," Lillian says. "The DEO doesn't seem to care who they hurt, so long as they get what they want. I'm telling you, they all have their own agendas - even Alex and Eliza Danvers. Mark my words. They'll lie to you again before the day is out."

"She's going into V-fib," Alex shouts, "We need to get her out of the tank! Now!" Then. "Someone go get my mother! We're going to have to operate, and I need her in the room with me."

"On it!" One the medical interns shouts, before he bursts out of the room. Lena forces herself to move out of the way, and turns, as he sprints past her and moves down the hall. She can hear his shoes squeak against the flooring as he digs his heels in in order to gain more speed.

Lena startles, as the lights begin to flicker due to some electrical surge. Whatever equipment they're using in the small room is shorting out the electrical systems all over the DEO. Lena realizes that the use of all of the medical equipment is overtaxing the system somehow, and she thinks that maybe she can help with that.

“Winn!” Alex shouts. And Lena jumps as Winn pushes his way between them, and steps into the room. He and Alex briefly share a heated conversation about electrical systems, before he assures Alex he can fix the problem and departs.

“You've been helping them with all of this?” Lena asks her mother.

“Of course,” Lillian says with a hint of pride in her voice. “After all, my experimentation was good for something more than just _killing_ , Lena. I _learned_ from it. I have nearly as much knowledge of Kryptonian physiology as they do.”

“Why?” Lena has to ask, “Why help her? I thought you _hated_ her? You've always spoken of Supergirl and Superman with so much vehemence.”

“I suppose that this is one of those lesser of two evils situations,” Lillian explains, “And Kara? Kara is definitely the lesser of two evils. She’s the Kryptonian that is trying to save the planet, and not destroy it. I figured that I owed her one. Besides, now my conscience can be clear." Lena can't help but wonder if things were about to change. But then her mother just had to go and shatter that illusion.

"Please, don’t mistake my assistance as any sort of affection for her, Lena," Lillian says, as if she can read Lena's very thoughts, "She’s still my enemy. She’s just not my enemy at this very moment.”

"I will never understand you," Lena admits, as she turns to regard her mother with a hint of appreciation in her eyes. She knows that tomorrow they'll likely go back to being enemies. But right now, her mother is working to keep Kara alive, and that's enough. It's enough for Lena.

 _Dig down_  
_Dig down_  
_Dig down_  
_Find faith_  
_We won't let them divide_  
_(Dig down)_  
_We will never abide_  
_(Dig down)_  
_We will find a way_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a like or a comment if you enjoyed! :)


	3. I Need Some Good News, Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena confronts Alex about the major lie that she told her. Lena sees Kara for the first time since the fight, and works through the trauma of Kara's brush with death. 
> 
> Lots of feels, angst, and some much needed comfort thrown in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any rights for Supergirl or the DC universe! All of my content is made for recreational purposes only and is not for profit.
> 
> Thanks to everyone for all of the likes and comments. Your love and support means a lot to me! 
> 
> I'm sorry for all of the heavy stuff in this story, but it's kind of hard to write a storyline like this, and not include the emotions that come with it. I just hope that you guys will like where the story takes you, and that the end is worthy of your ongoing support. I haven't decided if I'm going to go farther with it or not, but I'm expecting that the end story will be five or six chapters.

_In the morning it comes, heaven sent a hurricane_  
_Not a trace of the sun but I don't even run from rain_  
_Beating out of my chest, my heart is holding on to you_  
_From the moment I knew_  
_From the moment I knew_

Minutes later, a beautiful woman with slightly graying blonde hair and striking blue eyes appears with the man who had torn down the hall a few minutes prior, and Lena suddenly realizes that she's looking at Kara's foster mom, a woman that Kara always talked about with so much love and fondness. Lena's stomach lurches. Eliza's eyes land on her, and for the briefest of moments their eyes lock. In that single moment, a thousand words pass between them without either of them having to utter a single syllable. The love and worry, the fear and the helplessness, are all evident in their exhausted expressions. Lena feels something warm in her chest as Eliza grabs Lena's hand in her own and gives it a squeeze, before her fingers are sliding out of Lena's once more and she's rushing into the room.

Nearly two hours later, Lena is still in the hallway outside of Kara’s room, pacing back and forth in front of the glass doors while anxiously waiting for some sort of word about her condition. Lillian had briefly filled her in on the particulars of Kara's status, before she had abandoned Lena in the hallway. Words like Hemothorax, Atelectasis, and Splenectomy, had been thrown around with a sort of casualness that made Lena feel mildly sick. Lena felt nothing short of envy, as she watched Lillian push her way inside of the glass room, and begin assisting Alex and Eliza in their attempts to stabilize Kara. After all, It didn’t seem fair that someone who had always talked about Kara with so much hatred should be allowed in the room, while someone who so desperately loved her was left waiting _outside_. Lena had watched helplessly, as Kara's vitals went to hell and then mercifully came back again. Over the last couple of hours, it happened over and over again. In fact, it happened so many times, that Lena was almost beginning to expect it. It was like a cycle, a cycle that had to be repeated. Unfortunately, the last time it happened, the cycle had been broken. Kara didn't rebound. Instead, Kara's vitals spiraled and she began coding.

Kara is the strongest person that she knows, but even so, Lena isn’t sure that she’s strong enough to make it through all of this.

As hard as it is to watch the things that are transpiring inside the room, Lena stays. The truth is, she couldn’t bear to leave her once she’d laid eyes on her again. Her love for Kara made it physically impossible for her to leave. Lena can feel her phone start going off in her bag, but she ignores it. After all, nothing could possibly be more important than what is happening in the room in front of her. Lena’s eyes remain transfixed on the lifeless blonde in the center of the room, though she has to briefly avert her eyes, as members of the medical team start pulling Kara’s lifeless body from the tank in the center of the room.

Lena can’t stop the gasp from escaping her, as they carry her into Lena’s line of sight, carefully setting her on a table on the left side of the room. Thus, making it impossible for Lena to avoid the sight of Kara's naked body. Lena silently wishes that she could unsee such a sight, not because Kara isn’t beautiful – after all, nobody would dare deny that she is absolutely _stunning_ – but rather, because Kara’s injuries are that horrific. Kara's body is covered with bruises in various stages of healing. The left side of Kara’s ribcage is a gruesome sea of varying shades of purples, reds, blues, and even some green. There's a chest tube, draining excess blood from Kara's chest cavity on the right side. And a breathing tube snaking its way down Kara's throat, feeding her oxygen. Her chiseled stomach looks much like her ribcage, and Lena realizes that Kara must be bleeding internally.

And then, there’s Kara’s face. The truth is, Lena doesn’t even know where to begin. Kara’s face is almost swollen beyond recognition. The blood has been wiped away, but the contusion on the right side of Kara’s forehead is raised and swollen. On the opposite side, her left eye is swollen shut, and Lena can tell that her zygomatic bone has likely been shattered. There might even be some damage to the process that forms the outer edge of the orbital socket. If that's true, then Lena knows that Kara could be forever blind in that eye. Kara’s jaw - Kara’s jaw has been set, but Lena can tell that it had been broken. Lena swallows, and takes an involuntary step back, watching as Eliza starts giving commands to the other medical personnel in the room. She watches as they start to take a more hands-on approach.

Lena knows that Kara’s Kryptonian physiology poses unique challenges that make surgery a last resort. Because of Kara’s bulletproof skin, the only feasible way to open her up is to use Kryptonite scalpels and blades. And from Lena can overhear, Alex isn’t sure it is entirely worth the risk. After all, in Kara’s fragile condition the Kryptonite might do Kara more harm than good. But Kara - Kara is dying, and they no longer have anything to lose. Lena knows that they’re going to have to operate if they're going to give Kara any chance of survival. Lena watches as Alex injects something into Kara’s I.V., while Lillian and the rest of the team start setting things up around the room.

Lena turns away, as Eliza pulls a Kryptonite scalpel from a lead-lined box on the tray. She can’t bear to watch any longer. Lena turns and walks down the hall, trying desperately not to think about what is going on in the glass room behind her. However, her thoughts never stray far from Kara.

* * *

 

 _You are the air in my breath filling up my love soaked lungs_  
_Such a beautiful mess intertwined and overrun_  
_Nothing better than this, oh, and then the storm can come_  
_You feel just like the sun_  
_Just like the sun_

Hours later, when an exhausted Alex walks out of the room, Lena is there to ambush her.

“Lena,” Alex greets her, with exhaustion overflowing in her voice. “Look, I know how you must feel right now, but-” Alex tries.

“ _Don’t_ ,” Lena nearly hisses, her teeth grinding together in anger. “You _lied_ to me.”

“Lena, I just spent another four hours operating on my _sister_ ,” Alex tries to tell her, as she gently shoulders her way past Lena. “Now isn’t a good time for this conversation. I’m tired. I haven’t slept in over two days. Don’t do this right now.”

“You owe me an explanation!” Lena shouts as she turns and catches Alex at the precise moment that Alex tries to move past her. Alex lets out a surprised gasp, as Lena shoves her up against the glass wall, her fists tangling in the fabric of Alex’s shirt. She looks right into Alex's eyes, as her own flash in fiery green anger.

“I seriously cannot believe that you just did that! Do you realize that I know about fifteen different ways to break your pinky?” Alex threatens her, though there’s a hint of appreciation in her chocolate brown eyes.

“You don’t scare me,” is Lena’s only reply.

“God, you sound just like her,” Alex breathes, with a haunted look suddenly present in her eyes. Lena’s brow tightens in confusion, as she struggles to decipher what it is that Alex meant. “It’s no wonder she loves you so much.” She's struck by the feeling that suddenly washes over her, as a result. Alex is talking about Kara. The realization makes Lena's stomach flip, and Lena can't decide if it's a pleasant or unpleasant sensation.

“What are you trying to say?” Lena questions.

“You’re _brave_ ,” Alex replies, “You’re so brave, just like – just like Kara. God, even when you’re scared out of your mind, you don’t let it show. Instead, you turn that fear into strength – strength of will, strength of character.”

“Alex,” Lena shakes her head, and releases her hold on the woman in front of her. Lena watches as Alex quickly shakes out her shoulders, and then straightens her shirt. Lena looks at her with inquisitiveness in her eyes. Alex Danvers has always seemed like an somewhat of a mystery to Lena. but now, the air of mystery seems even more prevalent. The truth is, that Alex is a puzzle that Lena can't solve, and it's driving Lena a little insane with frustration. Something is going on that Alex isn’t telling her. “You owe me some sort of an explanation. What in the hell is going on?“

“Come on,” Alex says, as she grabs a hold of Lena’s wrist and leads her down the hallway.

“Where are you taking me?” Lena questions her, though she lets herself be pulled along. She's all too aware of how they draw curious glances as they move through the DEO.

“Somewhere we won’t be overheard,” Alex answers her simply. “There’s something I need to share with you.” Lena watches as Alex places her palm to a panel outside a non-descript room. There's a faint whine, as the lock on the door is released. Then, Alex quickly pulls open the heavy metal door. Lena gulps as Alex pushes her into the room, and then quickly follows her in. Lena suddenly finds herself in a circular room, with reinforced metal walls lining its perimeter.

“What is the point of all of this? Why all the secrecy?” Lena asks as Alex closes the door behind them with a loud bang, and then locks it. “And why in the hell would you lie to me?” Then, she can’t help but ask, “Was _anything_ you said to me in my office, true?”

“Of course it was!” Alex says as she meets Lena’s bright green gaze head on, so that her answer would be accepted. “Come on, do you really think I would lie to you about _that_? My sister loves you. I wasn’t lying about that, Lena.”

“Well, you lied to me about her being dead, so-“

“I did it to protect her!” Alex shouts, unable to hold back the words any longer. Lena sees the desperate look in Alex’s deep brown eyes, and she thinks she finally understands. “Look, I don’t expect you to understand, but I did what I had to do in order to keep her _safe_. And I will _always_ do _whatever it takes_ to keep her safe. I made a promise to her a long time ago, and I’m not about to start breaking that promise now. She is my sister! She’s my family!”

“Yeah?” Lena spits out angrily, “Well, you’re not the only one who loves her, Alex!” Lena tries to calm down as she takes a deep breath. “You could’ve told me. You could’ve trusted me with this.”

“No, I really _couldn’t_. I wasn't lying when I told you that I was under orders. I've been acting under orders, not only from my boss, but from the President of the United States," Alex disputes. She lets out a ragged breath before she voices a question. "So tell me, Lena. Would _you_ defy a direct order from the President of the United States, simply to spare the feelings of a friend?"

"I-" Lena hesitates, "I don't know."

"You're still upset," Alex sighs weakly, before running a hand roughly through her own hair.

"I understand that you were in an impossible position," Lena tells her. "But that doesn't mean I agree with your actions. You know that I care about her. You claim to believe that I would never hurt her, so why -"

"Lena," Alex interrupts her.

"I'm just trying to understand!" Lena shouts. "If you couldn't tell me anything - if what you came to my office to do, was lie, then why come to me at all? Why not leave me to wonder as to her fate with the rest of the world?"

"Because I couldn't do that to you! I wasn't sure if you knew about Kara's real identity, and at the very least, I believed that you deserved to hear  _that_ truth from me," Alex bursts out. 

"We're talking in circles, Alex," Lena says in exhaustion.

"What do you want, Lena?" Alex asks her.

"I want you to admit that what you did was wrong!" Lena replies with a break of her voice, "Do you not understand how wrong that is? To tell me a truth and a lie in the same breath and leave me to figure out which is which?"I want you to know that what you did hurt me!" Lena sniffles as tears spill over and streak down her face.

"Lena," Alex's voice softens. "Shit, Lena, I'm sorry. You're right. I'm really sorry. God, If - If Kara knew what I'd done she'd be so ashamed of me." Alex lets out a broken breath, and speaks again, "I'm ashamed." Lena swallows. She feels the emotions behind Alex's words. She knows that Alex is finally speaking the truth.

"I wish I could articulate myself well enough to fully explain, but I'm not sure if I _can_. The truth is, I had my own reasons for doing what I did, and it's wrong of me to try and make excuses for it."

"What could possibly be your reasons for lying?" Lena asks her, "For manipulating me in such a way?"

"Because I needed you to believe what I told you, Lena,” Alex says as she braces herself against the wall, planting her palms on the cool metal plates.

“Why?” Lena asks. She finally feels like they’re finally getting somewhere with this conversation.

“Because I needed National City to _believe_ that she was gone. And I think I knew that the only way to do that, was to make _you_  believe it too,” Alex explains.

“Oh my god. This wasn’t about _trusting me_ at all. This was about Catco,” Lena swallows, as she finally realizes she’d been had. Alex had used her. “You used me.”

“Yes,” Alex whispers, as she finally turned to face her. “And I needed you to believe what you were writing, Lena, because I needed the _world_ to believe it. I needed _her_ to believe it.” Then, speaking with sincerity in her voice, she says, “I’m sorry that I lied to you. I’m sorry that I used you like that, but I couldn’t let it get out that she was _alive_. Because if Reign ever figures it out? If she ever realizes that she failed in her task and that Kara is still alive, I have no doubt that she will come back to finish the job.” Lena hears the cracks in Alex’s voice as she begins to fall apart. “I _can’t_ let that happen,” Alex cries, “Kara won’t survive that. We’re doing everything we can, but even so, she still might not survive. I don’t know… I don’t know what to do.”

“My whole life, I have been able to protect her,” Alex tells Lena, “I have always been able to keep her safe, But last night? Last night I couldn’t do anything. Do you know what that’s like? To hear her last words, to hear the pain in her voice, and not be able to do anything?”

“Alex,” Lena swallows, her throat was tight beyond belief. In fact, she could barely speak. Lena looks down at the floor, staring at the textured floor between her toes.

“I could play them for you, you know?” Alex says, and Lena’s eyes snap up to her own. “Her last words. I have them with me. I wasn't supposed to, but I recorded them; just in case it was the last time I ever heard her voice. I think that maybe if you heard them, you would understand what it was like for me.”

“You would do that?” Lena questions.

"Please don't make it sound like I'd be doing you a favor," Alex begs her. "Because I'd be doing anything but... I'd be putting you through an emotional agony that no one should ever be put through in their lifetime."

"You think I don't already know that?" Lena says. 

“I just - I want to make sure that you know what you're getting into, Lena. Because it won’t be easy for you to hear,” Alex says as she walks over to the dais in the center of the room, and sits.

“But I figure that maybe you deserve to hear them.” Lena slowly walks over, lowering herself down on shaking limbs until she’s finally seated beside her. Silence builds between them for a long minute, before Alex lets out a tremulous breath, and says, "This is your last chance to back out."

"Play the recording, Alex," Lena says in a soft exhale, "I need to hear it."

Alex pulls out her phone, pulls up the file, and hits the play button.

_The first thing Lena hears is a deafening impact of metal on bone. In fact, Lena can almost **feel** the impact. The sound that fills her ears is guttural, and raw, as Kara can't choke back the sound of pain that courses through her. Lena can remember the way that Kara had spun through the air, as her feet had been knocked out from beneath her and Kara had been thrown into the air. There’s a whoosh of air, as Kara is thrown backwards by the burst of heat-vision, and then Lena hears the sound of Kara's body crashing against the rooftop with incredible force. She hears the cracks that are sent through the concrete beneath her, as it absorbs the force of the impact. Lena actually flinches as she hears Kara groan from the pain of the impact. The sound is so full of agony that Lena’s body cries out in empathy. _

Lena waits anxiously, desperate to find out what happened. Before, she had been able to fill in the blanks, and associate the sounds she was hearing to the snippets of the fight she had witnessed. But whatever had happened on the rooftop was a complete mystery to Lena and the rest of the world. She was finally going to find out.

"Wait for it," Alex breathes, almost whispers. "Any second now..."

_Then, Lena hears Kara’s voice._

_“Alex,” Kara chokes out through labored breaths. Her voice is so full of pain, that Lena can't stand the sound of it. Lena hears stones skittering this way and that across the rooftop, as Kara tries to move. “Alex, I’m sorry. I've failed you.”_

_“No,” Lena hears Alex’s frantic voice answer her. She sounds slightly out of breath. And Lena can hear a commotion from Alex's end, as if she's running as fast as she can. “No. Just hang on, Kara. We’re coming to you, okay? We’re almost there. Just hang on.”_

_“You - You won’t make it,” Kara groans softly. Lena can hear Kara's harsh breaths._

Lena's never been able to hear someone's breaths like this before. She can hear the loud wheezing, the rales in Kara's lungs, as Kara continues to fight for breath. Lena hears Kara struggle some more.

_"Not in time," Kara tells her, "Just – I just wanted you to know that I love you, and that I am so, so grateful for you, Alex. I wanted you to hear it from me… one last time.”_

_“Kara,” Lena can hear the breaks in Alex’s voice, as she fights back tears. “No! Don’t give up on me! Okay? Not now. Just - Just hold on a little longer!”_

_“Tell Lena -” Kara chokes out through ragged breaths, determined to get these last words out,_ and Lena feels her heart clench in response _, “Tell her I’m sorry for breaking my promise. Please- Please tell her I love-“ Kara’s voice cuts off abruptly._

_“Kara?” Alex’s voice is frantic, as she tries to reach her, “Kara?! Kara! Damn it, Kara, answer me!”_

Lena hears another sound that sends chills rocketing up her spine.

 _“I’m gonna kill you,” a chilling and slightly distorted voice threatens,_ and Lena sucks in a deep breath.

_“Ugh,” Lena hears Kara grunt, as she tries to get to her feet. She can hear Kara’s labored breaths over the recording, and she can almost picture Kara’s struggle. Kara is on the brink of death, and yet, she’s determined not to show her foe any weakness. Kara only makes it to her knees, before ultimately giving up._

_“You don’t scare me,” Kara manages, but Lena can tell that she’s fighting for her words, and terrified beyond belief._

Lena can’t imagine how terrified Kara must have been. She can’t imagine what it would be like to be beaten within an inch of her life. She can't imagine what it would feel like to know death was coming for you, and that there was nothing you could do. Lena feels white-hot tears begin to streak down her face, and drip from her chin. She feels the sobs build inside of her, threatening to tear her apart from the inside out.

 _“You are no God,” the voice taunts, “Just as I’m no Devil. All I am is truth.” Lena hears Kara groan as she’s wrenched to her feet, “And judgment, and death. And I will Reign.” Lena gasps, as she hears Kara’s final shuddering breath – a gasp of surprise as Reign lets go and Kara falls. Lena can hear the whoosh of the air, as Kara falls, falls, falls._ Alex stops the recording, and Lena loses it. She starts sobbing, her whole body wracking with unrelenting sobs as Alex pulls her into her arms.

“She sounded like she was in so much pain,” Lena sobs. “She was alone, and she must’ve been so terrified.”

“Shh,” Alex soothes, “Shh. I know. I know how hard that was to hear, but I wanted you to hear her words for yourself, so that you would believe them. My sister loves you, Lena.”

“I love her, too,” Lena manages, “I love her so much.”

“I know,” Alex tells her, as she cards her fingers through Lena’s hair.

“Can I see her?” Lena asks.

“Yeah,” Alex nods against her, “Once you calm down a bit, you can see her, Lena.”

Lena closes her eyes, and starts taking calming breaths, hoping to fight past the pain that she feels in her heart. It’s a slow process, but eventually the tears begin to wane, and Alex helps her up. She leads Lena back to Kara’s room, and ushers her inside. Lena walks to the edge of the tank, and places her hand against it. She shivers when she realizes the water inside is cold, ice-cold.

 _Never mind what I knew, nothing seems to matter now_  
_Ooh, who I was without you, I can do without_  
_No one knows where it ends, how it may come tumbling down_  
_But I'm here with you now_  
_I'm with you now_

“That’s just to help slow her body’s metabolic functions and her oxygen consumption,” Alex explains. "The tank is from Mon-El's ship. It's keeping her in stasis. We're hoping that it can get her through the worst of it, at least until Kara's healing kicks in again."

“So it's meant to prevent brain damage and hypoxia?” Lena questions.

“Yeah,” Alex nods. “Hypothermia naturally suppresses cellular metabolism. Given the fact that her right lung keeps collapsing, we needed to find a way to reduce her oxygen consumption."

"She has a spontaneous pneumothorax?" Lena asked.

"Yes," Alex swallows, "She has several broken ribs, one of which punctured her right lung. We've tried pleural decompression on several different occasions, which seems to re-inflate the lung. But then it collapses again." 

"What is that thing on her forehead?" Lena asks, with a furrow of her brows.

"The thing on her forehead is a neural inhibitor,” Alex answers. Then, she adds. “It’s keeping her in a coma.”

“Do you suspect brain damage?” Lena can’t help but ask, as she meets Alex’s eyes.

“We don’t know,” Alex admits, “She sustained a depressed skull fracture during the fight, and we saw evidence of some intra-cranial bleeding, but we don’t know if it will have any long term effects on Kara’s brain function. The neural inhibitor was mainly intended as a small mercy. She broke nearly a third of the bones in her body. And I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want to be consciously aware of the pain.”

“Can I touch her?” Lena finds herself asking.

“You can hold her hand,” Alex smiles weakly, “To be honest, I think she would really like that. Here, I'll open the tank for you.” Alex presses a button and the lid of the tank opens with a faint whine.

“Thank you,” Lena breathes.

“I’ll give you some time alone with her,” Alex tells her with a squeeze of Lena’s shoulder. “Hit that button there, if you need me. I’ll just be in the next room.” Lena nods, watching her walk from the room. After a bit of hesitation, Lena looks back to Kara’s submerged body, and tentatively reaches into the water. The temperature of the water stings the flesh of her hand, but the sensation is quickly overshadowed by another as she grasps Kara’s hand in her own.

Lena can't help but think back to the party, when Kara had spoken of her affection for Lena and Sam. Lena had really blown it. She had let Kara believe that she wanted someone else, because she was too afraid to speak up and reveal her feelings to Kara. All she could think now, is that she still had a chance. Alex had implied it herself. Kara wanted her. Not anyone else, but _her_. And that gave Lena hope. It made her believe that they still had a chance - that she and Kara could still live the life that Lena always dreamt of, If only Kara could just hang on for a little longer.

It was then that Lena decided. She would do whatever it takes. She would be there, and she would help Kara through whatever came next, no matter how difficult or impossible. After all, she owed Kara that much. Lena only wishes that she didn't have to help her through the pain and suffering that she knew was ahead, but she knows in her heart, that Kara is strong enough to handle it all. After all, Kara is the strongest woman that Lena has ever known. That was what mattered. 

 _And if you say we'll be alright_  
_I'm gonna trust you, babe_  
_I'm gonna look in your eyes_  
_And if you say we'll be alright_  
_I'll follow you into the light_

Lena finds herself glancing around the dark room, in order to find that she is completely and utterly alone with the woman in front of her. And now – now that she is right where she wanted to be, she isn’t sure what to do. The truth is, she isn’t sure if she should try to say anything to Kara, or if her best friend can even hear her. But Lena calmly decides it doesn’t really matter. Upon looking at her again, Lena squeezes Kara’s hand. She finds herself closing her eyes.

Without hesitation, Lena begins to sing to Kara in a gentle, albeit slightly meek voice. "A long endless highway," Lena begins softly, "you're silent beside me. Drivin' a nightmare I can't escape from. Helplessly praying, the light isn't fadin'. Hiding the shock and the chill in my bones," Lena pauses, in order to take another soft breath. "How's that?" Lena asks Kara gently, though she knows that it must sound terrible. Lena had always been a bit tone-deaf, when it came to singing. But she wanted to do this for Kara. "Sorry, I know I'm not nearly as good as you, but… let me just sing to you this one time, kay?"

"They took you away on a table. I pace back and fourth as you lay still," Lena, continues, while her warm voice slowly gains confidence with each and every word she sings. Lena listens as her voice spreads through the room, echoing off its glass walls, covering them both like a warm blanket. Her voice sounds almost good, as it resonates. "They pull you in to feel your heartbeat. Can you hear me screaming, "Please don't leave me"?” Lena tenderly lifts Kara’s hand out of the water and bends over, teetering over the edge of the tank. There, Lena slowly leans down and presses a lingering kiss to the flesh over Kara’s bruised and battered knuckles. Even now, Lena can tell that the blonde’s knuckles had been split down to the bone. Though the cuts were mostly healed now, they are still a mess, and Lena knows that they will most-likely scar. She presses kisses to the flesh, over and over again, letting her lips linger longer each time. She silently hopes that Kara can feel how much love that Lena is sending her way.

"Hold on, I still want you," Lena sings the chorus, with all the love in her heart that she can muster, "Come back, I still need you. Let me take your hand, I'll make it right. I swear to love you all my life. Hold on, I still need you.” Lena can feel her breath quicken in her chest as she sings those last words softly. Little does she know, that she is being watched. "I don't wanna let go. I know I'm not that strong. I just wanna hear you, saying baby let's go home," Lena feels tears build in her eyes as she sings, "Let's go home. Yeah, I just wanna take you home."

" _Please_ ," Lena whispers, with tears streaming down her face, "Please come back to me, Kara. I - I love you. I _know_... I know that I should have told you that before, and I'm so _so_ sorry that I chickened out when I had the chance to say something." Lena has to swallow over the lump that's in her throat. "Please, I'm begging you - just give me the chance. Please just come back to me, and I _promise you_ that I'll be here waiting for you when you wake up."

 _Let the world come rush in_  
_Come down hard, come crushing_  
_All I need is right here beside me_  
_I'm not enough, I swear it_  
_But take my love and and wear it over your shoulders_

After a couple more minutes, Lena carefully lowers Kara’s hand into the water and steps back, while blinking back tears. She slowly walks out into the hallway. She is jolted out of her reverie, when she notices Winn is watching her.

"What?" she asks him, feigning annoyance. She reaches up to hastily wipe away her tears, as she asks, “Did I do something wrong?”

"On the contrary, that was really sweet. I heard you. You were singing to her," Winn tells her, with a weak, appreciative smile.

"I thought she might like it," Lena says, as if it is no big deal.

"You know, in some cultures, singing is a way to show affection," Winn says as he looks into Kara’s room. "You have a lovely voice. You should sing more often."

“Oh, please,” Lena scoffs, “I can’t carry a tune to save my life.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” Winn tells her. “You have a nice voice. And I bet that Kara would love it if you sang to her more.”

“I doubt that Kara even _knew_ I was singing to her,” Lena whispers.

“See, that’s the thing,” Winn responds, “I don’t think you would’ve done that, if you truly believed that she couldn’t hear you. Everything that we do is significant, Lena. Look, I know that you don’t have a lot of faith right now – and that’s okay. But I think that you’ll find that everything is going to be okay.”

“I wish I could believe you,” Lena sighs.

“Then try harder,” Winn, urges her, as he pulls her into a hug. “Cause she needs you to be strong right now. She needs you to believe in her.”

“I – I love her so much, Winn,” Lena sniffles as she buries her face in his shoulder, “And I’m scared.”

She vaguely feels him rubbing circles on her back. “I know. I know you are, Lena. But I promise you, it’s gonna be okay.”

"I hope, for all of our sake, that you're right about that." 

_And if you say we'll be alright_  
_I'm gonna trust you, babe_  
_I'm gonna look in your eyes_  
_And if you say we'll be alright_  
_I'll follow you into the light_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Lena. Poor Alex. Oh, hell... Poor everyone! 
> 
> I'm sorry for putting you guys through the emotional wringer. Please forgive me! *hugs*
> 
> If you guys have a minute, please take a minute to leave me some feedback! It's food for my weary soul! ;)
> 
> Also, the two songs that I featured in this chapter are, "Hold On," by Chord Overstreet, and "The Light," by Sara Bareilles


	4. I'll Stand By You (No matter what)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The DEO gets a special visit from others in the DC universe, as they attempt to prevent catastrophe while Kara is incapacitated.
> 
> Lena, Alex, and Brainiac-V make a last ditch effort to save Kara, by tapping into Kara's conciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any rights for Supergirl or the DC universe! All of my content is made for recreational purposes only and is not for profit.
> 
> Thanks to everyone for all of the likes and comments. Your love and support means a lot to me!
> 
> I'm sorry that it took me so long to update this story! Life has been crazy as of late. I had to travel up north after the sudden death of a family member. And we've all been struggling with the loss, so it's been hard for me to write. I just hope that you guys will like where this is going, and that the end is worthy of your ongoing support. I really love you guys, and appreciate your patience with me.

_“I wish I could believe you,” Lena sighs._

_“Then try harder,” Winn, urges her, as he pulls her into a hug. “Cause she needs you to be strong right now. She needs you now more than ever. She needs you to believe in her.”_

_“I – I love her so much, Winn,” Lena sniffles as she buries her face in his shoulder, “And I’m scared."_

_She vaguely feels him rubbing circles on her back. “I know. I know you are, Lena. But I promise you, it’s gonna be okay."_

_"I hope, for all of our sake, that you're right about that," Lena speaks as she pulls away._

* * *

An involuntary sound passes from Lena’s lips as she ground suddenly shudders beneath them. She staggers sideways into the glass wall of the hallway, while Winn tries futilely to steady himself, and drops to the ground, as the floor lurches violently. Just as suddenly as it starts, the shaking stops. Lena pushes away from the wall and carefully pulls Winn to his feet.

“What in the hell was that?” Lena asks him, assuming that he would know. 

“I have no idea,” Winn tells her honestly, “But I can guarantee you that it’s nothing good.”

“You really don’t know?” Lena says with a tinge of disbelief. 

“It’s never happened before,” Winn swallows. They share a brief look, as alarms start resonating through the hallways of the DEO. “The DEO is designed with a specific purpose. It’s one of the most secure buildings in the country, and one of the most structurally sound structures that’s ever been built. I think we’re under attack.”

“Oh god,” Lena looks back at the room where Kara lies in a tank. She feels fear surge up inside of her. She feels the muscles in her body begin to tremble with that same fear. And though she tries to consciously fight them, it only makes things worse. Part of her can’t help but wonder - what if it’s Reign? What if she’s found them? What if she’s come for Kara? Alex rushes out of the adjacent room with her guns drawn, and streaks off down the hall, towards the main hub.

“Come on,” Winn urges her, as he grabs Lena’s hand, and tugs her down the hallway. Lena fights his influence and wrenches her wrist from his grasp, “There’s a safe-room we can go to. But we have to go now.”

“No,” Lena speaks obdurately. “No, Winn! You can do what you need to, but I’m not leaving her,” Lena says in a hollow voice, as he looks back at Kara’s room. “If she’s come for Kara, she’s going to have to get through me first.”

“Lena,” Winn shakes his head.

“I can’t,” Lena breathes. “It would be like ripping out my own heart. I can’t leave her. I – I love her.”

“Enough to die for her?” Winn asks. “She wouldn’t want that, Lena! Besides, we don’t even know what’s happening. It could be a false alarm – an experiment that went wrong in one of the labs. There’s no way to know for sure.”

“Come on,” Winn urged her. “Just a peek. And, hey, if the devil herself has truly come for us all, then you and I can still make it back here. We’ll find a way to get Kara out of here without Reign knowing.”

“Is there a way that you know of to get Kara out of here?” Lena asked. 

“Not to my knowledge,” Winn shrugs, “but we’re both geniuses. I'm sure we could figure something out. There’s a bit of fun in making it up as you go along, isn’t there?”

“It irks me that you’re so calm about this,” Lena confesses.

“Calm?” Winn laughs, “I’m freaking out, Lena. Seriously…my hands are shaking so much right now. I’m petrified.” Winn holds his hand up for inspection, and Lena nearly laughs as she realizes that his hand is shaking as violently as hers. She gives him a nod, and together they creep down the hall towards the main room, with the towering ceiling. Lena freezes as she lays eyes on what is causing the earthquakes.

“What on earth?” Lena gasps. “That looks like the portal that the Daxamites came through,” Lena whispers, “But it looks as if it’s appeared out of thin air.”

“Stand down!” Alex shouts, as she motions all of the DEO agents to lower their weapons. “Lower your weapons! Everyone stand down!” 

“What is she doing?” Lena asks him with a flash of her eyes. Lena can no longer stand idly by and watch this. It’s going to be a slaughter. She has to protect Kara. She will protect Kara with her last breath, if she has to. She rushes forwards. “Alex, what are you doing?! You have no idea what could come through that portal!” Lena runs forwards and grabs a weapon from another DEO agent. 

Alex turns just in time to see the panic in Lena’s eyes as she lifts the weapon in the direction of the rift.

“No! Lena, no!” Alex exclaims as she rushes the several steps towards Lena, and reaches for the gun, pushing it down towards the floor. “You don’t understand! I – I called them here. They’re here to help!”

“What?!?” Lena asks the elder Danvers with alarm.

“They’re friends of ours!” Alex protests. “Tell her, J'onn!”

“She’s telling the truth,” J'onn says as he steps forwards.

“I – I don’t understand,” Lena admits with a furrow of her brow.

“They’re from Earth-1,” Alex explains. “They’re friends of Kara’s, and I called them here – to help. We need their help while Kara is incapacitated.” Alex swallows, “I wasn’t sure that they would come, but then…then the portal opened. It’s them. It has to be.” Lena relinquishes the gun as she feels shock.

"Earth-1?" Lena repeats.

"Yeah," Winn swallows, "They're from a parallel Earth."

“You mean the multiverse is real?” Lena asks in bafflement. “It’s not just a theory? It’s actually real?”

“Yeah,” Winn laughs, as he meets Lena’s eyes, which are currently as wide as saucers. “It’s kind of mind-blowing, isn’t it?”

Lena feels a bit dizzy, as she watches someone emerge from the portal. Two people, actually. They’re both wearing curious outfits. One is dressed head to toe in a red suit with a lightning-bolt in the center of his chest. The other is wearing peculiar glasses, a vest, and a pair of strange looking gauntlets. Lena takes a step back as others begin to emerge. There’s a muscular man wearing a green tunic with a hood and clutching a bow. Then, three females emerge. They’re dressed in civilian’s clothes, but Lena’s eyes are drawn to their faces. She realizes with a pang that they’re all strikingly beautiful. And finally, two others bring up the rear before the portal winks out behind them, seemingly evaporating into thin air.

“Alex!” the man in the red suit exclaims, before he tugs off his hood, exposing his boyish face. He’s handsome. But he looks young. His brown hair is longer, and several strands fall down towards his eyes. He has to sweep them away with his hand. Lena’s eyes dart around the crowd. 

“Barry, thank you so much for coming,” Alex says with tears in her eyes. “Wow, I – I can’t believe you all came!” Lena feels tears build in her own eyes at the display of emotion. She feels it tug at her heartstrings as this stranger, pulls Alex into a crushing hug, cradling her against him as if she were the best of friends. Lena suddenly realizes she had no idea. Kara had this whole other life that she didn’t know about. I mean, god, these people were from another Earth. And yet, they seemed to know Alex better than she did.

“I’m so sorry it took us so long,” Barry apologized, “We came as soon as we got your message, but it took us a little bit to get everyone together.”

“It’s alright,” Alex sniffles.

“How is she?” he asks Alex in concern as he pulls away.

“Uh…” Alex has to choke back a sob. “We had to put her in Mon-El’s stasis pod. She was barely hanging on by a thread. The stasis pod should see her through the worst of it, but I – I don’t – I don’t know if she’ll ever wake up. God, Barry, it was so awful. I’ve never seen,” Alex’s voice gives out on her as the emotions get the better of her. She has to try again. “I’ve never seen Kara like that. She was beyond broken. The strongest person I’ve ever known reduced to broken parts. I…”

“Hey,” Barry’s voice softens. “I am so _so_ sorry, Alex. I can’t imagine what that must have been like. But I know Kara. She is the strongest person that I have ever met. She’s going to pull through. I have absolutely zero doubt.”

“I’m – I’m just so glad you’re all here,” Alex says brokenly, as she addresses the crowd of heroes, “Kara would be blown away. Seriously, she’d be floored by this show of support.”

“We all wanted to come,” Iris spoke up. “We love Kara. And we love you, too! How could we not be here for you?” Alex laughs as Iris pulls her in for a hug that is every bit as fierce as the one she and Barry just shared.

“Hey,” he said as he put a hand on Alex’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “We’re going to figure it out. I promise. We’ll see her through this, Alex.”

“That’s not the only reason I asked you to come,” Alex admits.

“People are dying, Barry. Reign is slaughtering them by the dozens. We need your help. At least until we can get Kara on her feet again.”

“Say no more,” Barry tells her, as he looks to the man in the green hood, “We’re here to help, _whatever_ that entails. Just say the word and we’re there.” Lena feels her eyes drawn to the man in the green hood as he pulls it off his head. He’s ruggedly handsome.

“You shouldn’t be making any promises,” Alex shakes her head, “At least not until you see what she did to Kara. Because the fact is, you have every right to know what you’ll be getting into. The woman that did this to Kara is the strongest Kryptonian this world has ever seen. She’s a self-proclaimed world killer, and she beat Kara to a bloody pulp. So you can only imagine what she might do to all of you.”

“We don’t need to see Kara in order to make our decision,” Oliver speaks as he steps forwards. “Kara was always there for us when we needed her. And now it’s time that we stepped up, and returned the favor. Plus, I brought some knick-knacks with me that I think this rogue Kryptonian will like.”

“Let me guess,” Alex laughs, “Are these special knick-knacks you brought with you, green arrows, by any chance, Green Arrow?”

“They are,” he responds with a resolute nod. “After all, they came in somewhat handy on Earth-X, did they not?” 

“Yeah, but…but we have no way in knowing if they will be effective against Reign,” Alex tells him. “If you had seen how strong she was, you would understand. She’s completely invulnerable to most attacks.”

“Alex, I get the sense that you’re trying to talk us out of this, but the fact is, we already know the risks. Because they’re always the same. We’ve faced certain death - what seems like countless times now. And yeah, the obstacles we face right now are daunting. But I can tell you that we believe in what we do. We believe in protecting those that need protecting. And we’re here to prevent any further catastrophe. We came here to save this Earth, and we’re not going to let Kara down. Not now. And not ever.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m with Oliver on this one,” a beautiful blond speaks up from the crowd. Lena swallows hard, as she takes in the outfit the woman is wearing. It is a form-fitting white body suit that leaves little to the imagination. Lena slowly takes in the way Alex’s eyes widen, as she lays eyes on the blonde for the first time. It is clear that Alex hadn’t exactly noticed her right away, either. She’d been hiding in the crowd. 

“Sara,” Alex breathes, “You're here?! I mean – how? Weren’t you in some other time stream? With the Legends?” 

“I was,” Sara confirms, “But when I heard about what happened, I found a way back.” Lena feels her heart clench as the blonde steps forwards and pulls Alex into her arms. Lena feels that embrace with every fiber of her being. “Hey,” Lena hears Sara breathe in Alex’s ear. “Hey, it’s going to be okay. She’s literally the strongest woman I’ve ever met. And one thing I know for sure, is that the Danvers sisters do _not_ go down easily.” Lena felt as if she was witnessing something private and personal. It was clear to her now, that these two were involved in some way, and were not ‘merely’ friends. 

“Thank you,” Alex says as she pulls away.

“Good news!” Mon-El announces as he strides into the room with a blue-skinned alien trailing behind him. Lena gasps as she takes in the several glowing dots on his forehead, “Our friend is finally awake, and he is fully functional.” He seems completely oblivious to the crowd, before he ultimately looks up and staggers to a stop. 

“Barry?” Mon-El sputters.

“Uh, hey man!” Barry smiles, “It’s so good to see you.” Lena feels a peculiar stirring in her stomach as she watches their handshake. “It’s been a while.” She scoffs. Because of course! Of course Mon-El would know all about Kara’s other friends. She resented him just a little bit for it.

“Yeah,” Mon-El laughs, “I’ll say. Listen, man, I don’t know what you’ve heard, but I want to say…”

“It’s okay,” Barry shakes his head. “It’s none of my business. I imagine that none of this is easy for you.”

“No,” Mon-El admits, “It’s not. But it helps to know that we’ve got people we can count on. Kara – Kara is so lucky to have all of you. Thank you for coming. Truly, it means the world to us.” 

“So who is this friend of yours?” Barry is the first to ask as he fixes his eyes on Brainiac-5, and holds out a friendly hand.

“Oh, this is Quiri Dox,” Mon-El announces, “But we call him Brainy. He’s literally the smartest person to ever walk the planet. He's got a 12th level intellect. And the good news is that he thinks that he can help Kara.”

“Hi! It’s good to meet you,” Barry gives him a mega-watt smile. “I’m Barry, Barry Allen. But I’m also known on my Earth as The Flash.” Quiri flashes Barry a smile of his own.

“Hi! Yeah, Hi! I’m sorry to interrupt this beautiful moment and all, but I just want to make sure I heard you correctly. You think you can help Kara?” Alex interrupts. Lena sees the sparks of hope in her eyes. 

“There might be a way to communicate with her while she’s in the coma,” Queri says as he meets Alex’s eyes. “It would be good to know if there’s any underlying injury to the neural cortex. Or if there is any corruption. Mon-El mentioned that she suffered some sort of a head injury?”

“Yeah, she suffered a depressed skull fracture,” Alex nods. “We couldn’t detect any injury to the brain, but I’m afraid that there might’ve been some intracranial bleeding.”

“Can I see her?” Another woman speaks up, as she approaches the two of them.

“Caitlin!” Alex says with a hint of awe in her voice. “Yeah! O-Of course you can. I’ll take you both there in a second.” Lena feels something break inside of her chest. She feels envy. It feels like she’s a complete outsider – like she’s on the outside and looking in. Kara was really her first and only friend in National City. And now Lena is finding out that not only did Kara have James and Winn, but she also has all of these incredible heroes as her closest friends. It makes her feel woefully inadequate.

“Guys,” Alex clears her throat. “There’s someone –“ Alex’s voice catches as she meets Lena’s gaze unexpectedly. “There’s someone very important that I want to introduce you to.” At first, Lena thinks Alex isn’t talking about her. After all, Winn is standing right next to her. “I’m afraid that I’ve neglected the one person in this room that means the most to Kara.”

“Alex-“ Lena attempts to forestall Alex’s next words, but it’s futile.

“Guys, this is Lena – Lena Luthor,” Alex says as she grabs for Lena’s hand. Lena suddenly feels every eye in the room on her. “She is Kara’s best friend, but she’s so much more than that. Kara trusts her wholeheartedly, so you can have every confidence that she’s worth yours. She’s one of the smartest and most successful people you’ll ever meet, but she’s humble and kind, and she – she loves Kara, so please… Please show her the sort of love that you’ve shown me. Because she could really use it right now.”

“If it’s okay, I’d like to make the introductions,” Alex smiles. Lena nods.

“Lena, as you’ve already heard, this is Barry Allen,” Alex says as she nudges Barry with a shoulder, “He’s known as the Flash."

"The Flash?" Lena repeats, with a questioning lilt to her voice.

"He’s the fastest man alive.”

“The fastest man alive?” Lena thinks that she might be starting to sound like a broken record player, just a bit. Soon enough, however, all her questions about this man's identity are answered. She feels all of the air sucked from her lungs, as Barry is suddenly gone in a flash, and Lena’s hair is gusted by the breeze he generates as he runs. He reappears in much the same fashion, only when he skids to a stop in front of her, he’s holding a bouquet of flowers.”

“For you,” he smiles, and Lena swears she feels herself blush as she takes them from him.

“Wow,” Lena breathes. His powers are amazing. Still, he has nothing on Kara. Kara can _fly_. 

“This is,” Barry turns to grab Iris by the hand. “This is my wife, Iris Allen-West. She’s the best reporter in Central City…and the best partner than anyone could ever ask for.”

“It’s wonderful to-“ Lena gasps as she suddenly pulled into a hug by Iris, “meet you.”

“I know that I have you at a bit of a disadvantage,” Barry jokes, “But I…I just wanted to say that Kara talks about you all the time. The truth is, I’ve been dying to meet you for a really long time. Because the way that Kara talks about you? Well, let’s just say that she’s a big fan of yours. I – I uh… I’m sorry about the circumstances in which we’re finally meeting, but I’m also really glad to make your acquaintance. I’m hoping that we can both be friends.”

“I would love that, Barry,” Lena feels the genuine warmth and kindness that Barry is directing her way. She pulls him into a hug, which he returns wholeheartedly. It’s weird, how it feels like they’ve known eachother for years, even though she barely knows him at all. She lets go, and steps back, in order to continue the introductions. 

“This is Cisco Ramone,” Alex says as she pulls him into Lena’s line of sight, “He’s a brilliant Engineer, and Physicist that works at S.T.A.R. Labs. And he is also the one who was behind that little display that you just saw.”

“Hi,” he says with a little wave of a gauntlet. 

“Wait,” Lena says, “So let me get this straight. You can open up portals between different dimensions? You can move between parallel Earths?”

“Yeah,” Cisco nods, “Every parallel universe is unique. They all vibrate at a different frequencies, so if I know what that frequency is, I can vibe it. It’s like I’ve got the only ticket in or out. But sometimes I take hitchhikers along for the ride.” Cisco says as he points to the crowd with his thumb.

“Wow,” Lena laughs, “Just _wow_. I would love to hear all about that. I can’t help but think about the kind of things I could do with that knowledge.”

“Did I mention that she’s the smartest woman I’ve ever met?” Alex jokes. “It’s always about science with this one. But what’s awesome about her, is that she’s always using that knowledge to make the world a better place.” 

“Alex,” Lena huffs, “Stop it. Seriously, you’re starting to give me a complex.”

“So continuing with the introductions,” Alex drags out the words, “This is Dr. Caitlin Snow. She’s a brilliant doc, but she’s also a Meta-human that works with Barry’s team.”

“Meta-human?” Lena stutters. 

“Yeah,” Cisco nods, “We’re all meta-humans. We got our powers from the particle accelerator explosion in Central City.”

“Well, not all of us,” Iris amends amiably, with a laugh. “I’m normal, as far as I can tell.”

“Right,” Lena nods, “So Barry has super-speed. You can detect different frequencies, and Caitlin can…”

“Make popsicles,” Caitlin jokes, as she gives Lena’s hand a squeeze. Lena hates to admit this, but she actually yelps a little bit when she feels the cold of Caitlin’s hand.

“Wow,” Lena breathes, “That is…”

“Crazy? Absolutely nuts?” Caitlin finishes for her.

“Actually, I was going to say cool as hell,” Lena jokes, “but whatever. Toe-may-toe, Toe-mah-toe.”

“She’s funny,” Caitlin says to Alex, “I like her, _this one_.” 

“Hi,” Lena turns to see the ruggedly handsome man in the green tunic, approaching her, “I’m Oliver Queen, vigilante hero extraordinaire, but that’s just my night job. My current day job is serving as the mayor of Starling City.”

“Are you a Meta-human, too?” Lena asks, to which his laughter is the obvious answer.

“No,” Oliver laughs, “Though I think my job would be a hell of a lot easier if I were.”

“Oliver, here, has to rely on his moxie and his grit to get things done, but I assure you, he’s a hell of a hero. He’s the best archer that you will ever see,” Alex pipes in with her two cents. “Seriously, he’s a force to be reckoned with. He can shoot a target from a mile away.”

“Oh,” Lena smiles, “Well, I can get behind that. A Business man, _and_ a superhero, now that’s my kind of hero.” Lena bats her eyelashes playfully.

“You don’t know her well enough to know this, but she’s kidding,” Alex fills him in. Lena laughs, earning laughter from the rest of the group.

“This is my wife, Felicity Smoak,” Oliver says as he reaches for her hand. “If you ever need any technical support, she’s your gal. She can do just about anything with a computer.”

“Hi,” Felicity offers shyly. “I’m a big fan of your work.”

“Wait. If you’re from a different Earth, how do you know about L-Corp?” Lena asks with a furrowed brow.

“Well, I don’t know about _your_ work specifically. But Lena Luthor’s work on Earth-1 is spectacular. I’ve been to several of her - _your_  conferences. It’s mind-blowing…what you’ve done with your family’s company.”

“Ah, so the version of me on Earth-1 is…” Lena begins, but Felicity doesn’t get that far.

“A freaking badass, Lena,” Felicity chuckles, earning a sharp reprimand from Alex.

“What? Am I not allowed to say that she’s a badass?” Felicity starts stumbling over her words. “You know what? Forget it. I can say what I want to say! She’s a brilliant woman _and_ a badass.” Lena can’t stop the elated laugh from bubbling up in her throat. She’d always wondered what a different version of her would be like. A part of her always feared she would turn out like her brother, despite her best efforts to the contrary. But hearing this evidence, gave Lena some reassurance. Part of her knew that it wasn’t that simple. After all, life wasn’t just black and white. There were plenty of good people who had lost themselves along the way. What mattered was that Lena toiled, day in and day out, in an effort to make the world a better place. “I have no doubt that _you_ are a badass, as well. You must be, if you can hold your own with Kara.”

By the time they make it through the rest of the introductions, Lena’s head is swimming just a little bit. And by a little bit, I mean _a lot_. Lena is reeling, more so than she thought was possible.

“It’s a lot to take in, I know,” Sara jokes as she relinquishes control of Lena’s hand. “I mean, when you woke up this morning, I’m sure you never anticipated meeting a band of Superheroes, and a time traveling assassin who tries to prevent tampering of the timeline. So you’re doing especially well, considering.”

“I’ll say,” Lena laughs. “Especially considering the fact that I didn’t know that any of this even existed a day ago? I think I’m doing extremely well. Hell, I’m still learning how to wrap my head around the fact that my best friend is an alien, and now I have all this other stuff to reconcile as well.”

“So… You and Kara, huh?” Sara asks.

“What?!?” Lena says in a hushed voice as she looks around, in order to make sure that they weren’t overheard. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, come on,” Sara laughs.

“Sara, I don’t know what you’re-“ Lena begins, but Sara beats her to the punch.

“Lena,” Sara sighs, “I’m not an idiot. Alex threw around the term ‘love’ in a friendly sense, but I also noticed that the word elicited a reaction in you that was not remotely platonic. Not to mention, the look she gave you was one of sympathy. Which means she knows how you feel about her sister, and she supports it.” 

“I…” Lena sighs, “It’s complicated. Kara and I have been the best of friends for a really long time. I knew… I knew that my love for Kara wasn’t exactly that of a best friend, but I was too much of a coward to do anything about it. And unfortunately, this realization and the motivation to do something about those feelings didn’t really hit me until…until it was too late.” Lena doesn’t even realize she’s crying, until Sara pulls her into a hug.

“You’ll get the chance to tell her,” Sara assures her. “I know Kara. She's got things to do yet. She's not done with this life. Just promise me that you won’t chicken out again. Life’s too short. You’ve got to make the most of it. I’ve lost people that I’ve loved…most of them without any warning, and I have far too many regrets. Never be afraid to tell someone you love them. _Ever_.”

“Thanks,” Lena says as she reaches up to wipe away her own tears. “I won’t.”

“You know, I probably shouldn’t be saying this, for the obvious reasons, but…” Sara clears her throat. “I have spent most of my life thinking that I wasn’t worth much. I’ve always been hard on myself, and so I’ve learned to recognize when others are doing the same. You might be really good at telling yourself that you’re not worth the trouble and not worth the effort. You might have even convinced yourself that you are unworthy of Kara’s love. But Lena? I’m telling you right now, that you are worth so much more than you’ll ever let yourself believe. Kara wouldn’t have given you the time of day, if she hadn’t seen something in you. Sure…she’s warm to just about everyone that she meets. After all, it’s impossible for her to be cold. But for her to stick around? To believe in you and support you day in and day out? She sees something in you, and she believes wholeheartedly that you’re worth it. So please don’t throw that away. I had someone like that once, and I lost her. You have… to hold on to her. Just hold on tight and don’t ever let go, no matter how scared of your own happiness that you might be.”

“I…I don’t even know what to say,” Lena is seriously floored by what Sara just told her.

“Come on,” Sara smiles as she wraps an arm around Lena’s shoulder, “Let’s go see what Alex and the rest of the gang is getting up to, shall we?” Lena lets herself be steered in the direction of Kara’s room. 

When they reach the room, they find that it’s a bit crowded. Quiri Dox is inside with Alex, Barry, and Mon-El. Alex’s hand is pressed to the tank, and Quiri’s eyes are closed. Sara and Lena step into the room, and shut the door.

“What’s going on?” Lena asks.

“Brainiac-5 is attempting to make contact with Kara now,” Alex answers. “That device on her head, is allowing him to access to her mind.” 

“But how?” Lena questions.

“Well, I probably should have mentioned that he is a hybrid,” Mon-El says. “He’s part human, part computer. I guess you could call him an Android of a sort. He’s using the device on Kara’s head, in order to tap into Kara’s consciousness.” Lena hears a gasp from behind her, and turns to see Sara staring at Kara.

“I know,” Alex whispers, as she takes in Sara’s body language. “I know it’s bad.”

“I know you said that it was awful, but I…”

“Thought that I was just being dramatic?” Alex says as she meets Sara’s gaze.

“What?! No!” Sara exclaims, “God, no! What I meant to say is that I wasn’t exactly prepared for it. That’s all.”

“You should have seen her when they first brought her in,” Mon-El mumbles. “If it wasn’t for Imra, I think I would have lost my damned mind.” Lena just clenches her jaw. She doesn’t even know how to respond to something like that. She was trying desperately to find a place in her heart for sympathy and forgiveness. But she couldn't help but wonder how someone like Mon-El could ever let someone like Kara go. 

“She’s looking a lot better now that they’ve got her in the tank,” Lena breathes as she walks forwards, “Most of the swelling has gone down. You wouldn’t even know how close to death she was, looking at her now.” 

They all turned towards the monitor as alarms started going off around the room. Quiri Dox jumped to life with a jolt. Alex’s eyes flew over the waves on the EEG, which were now moving erratically.

“Quickly! Get her out of the tank!” Quiri exclaims.

“What?!” Alex asks with alarm in her deep brown eyes.

“Get her out! Now!” he orders frantically as he opens the tank.

“Shit! She’s seizing!” Alex gasps. Everybody jumps into motion at once. Lena, Mon-El, Sara, and Alex rush towards the tank as Quiri inputs commands. They all grab a hold of Kara as best they can, before lifting her from the tank. Kara’s suit is dripping wet, and droplets of water rain down from her body, making a pool on the floor. Lena tries desperately not to slip in it, as they move her towards the table. It’s hard to get a grip on the blonde. as every muscle in Kara's body shakes uncontrollably. 

“What in the hell happened?!” Alex screams over the blare of alarms in the room. 

“I don’t know!” Brainiac V shouts, “We were just talking. We were having a casual conversation, and everything seemed to be okay. She seemed to know what had happened to her. She was calm about it, but as time went on, she became upset, agitated. She said that people were dying and that she had to wake up. She seemed determined to do so, and so I told her to go ahead and try. She started trying to break out of the apartment, and then everything just imploded. Her apartment literally exploded before my very eyes. Then everything just went black.” He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment as they attempt to hold Kara against the table. “I noticed in the split second before the explosion that there was something amiss.”

“What was it?” Alex asks. “What is it you noticed?”

“She had blood on her temple, here,” he indicated its location with his finger, “Before she collapsed to the floor.”

“We’re losing her!” Alex breathes, as she injects a medication into Kara’s I.V. “The electrical activity in her brain indicates severe distress. If we can't fix it, she's in danger of brain death.”

“Alex…” Quiri’s voice is hesitant, as if he’s not sure what to say.

“You need to go back in there!” Alex orders, “You need to fix this! Now!”

“I can’t! My presence in there would not be welcomed!” he argues. “She doesn’t know me…doesn’t trust me! What she needs is a friendly face - someone she knows, _loves_ , trusts, telling her to fight. The stronger emotional connection she has to them, the better. Emotions are tied to our every thought, our every memory, so if anyone is going to help her through this, then it has to be someone she shares a strong emotional connection with. If we don’t do this soon, we will lose her. She will _never_ wake.” Lena involuntarily looks to Alex, and then Mon-El, as if they are the answer to this problem. Lena staggers backwards as they both turn towards her at the same exact moment.

“What are you looking at me for?” Lena questions.

"Lena," Alex's voice is gentle as she makes eye contact with her.

"It should be _you_. She loves you so much, Alex,” Lena argues, “And she trusts you more than anyone else on this planet.” 

“And _you_ ,” Lena says as she looks to Mon-El. “You’re her lost love.”

“My presence would not be welcomed,” Mon-El admits, “She’s convinced that I do not love her any longer. My being there would only make her shut down. I'd make it worse.” 

“Lena, it’s you she loves,” Alex says through her tears, "And she trusts you with her life. It should be you."

“But don’t you want to see her? Talk to her?” Lena questions.

“Of course I do!” Alex says passionately, “Don’t get me wrong. I would love to speak to her face to face. Hell, I would give _anything_ to spend another moment with her. But we've already said our goodbyes, and I know…I know she knows how I feel. I know she loves me.”

“But I didn’t get a chance to tell her,” Lena finally comes to the realization, “You’re trying to give me the chance to say goodbye,” Lena says breathlessly. Alex nods. She's happy that Lena finally seems to understand.

“You need to understand,” Brainiac-5, tells them. “There’s a huge amount of risk involved. I can help you get inside. But once you're inside, you're on your own. And if you’re in her mind when all activity ceases, there’s a chance that I’ll never be able to get you out. You will die.” 

“I - I’ll do it,” Lena jumps before she has the chance to dwell on the consequences. 

“Lena…” Mon-El is the one to speak up.

“I want to do it,” Lena is adamant, “Risks be damned. I need to do this. I will never forgive myself, if I don’t take this chance. I have to try.”

“We’ll pull you out if things start to go south,” Alex assures her, “So make sure you act quickly. Every second counts.”

“I understand,” Lena nods.

“Do you have another halo?” Quiri Dox asks.

“Actually, I think I have just the thing,” Alex breathes as she rushes from the room. She reappears a moment later, with a device. “We used this when Kara was trapped by the Black Mercy, and I had to go into Kara’s mind to get her out.”

“Ah, yes,” Brainiac smiles, “This will do nicely.” He indicates for Lena to hop up on the second table in the room, so she does. “Now, there’s no telling what the state of her mind will be when you get in there, but it will likely reflect her emotional state. It could be a serene environment like that of her apartment, or it could be something much more sinister. You need to be ready for anything. But one thing is clear. You have to find her, convince her to fight back, and hang on. If you can help her through whatever emotional turmoil is going on, things might settle down.” He plugs in the device, into a device that will allow him to give Lena access to Kara’s mind.

“I understand,” Lena tells him. 

“Good,” he smiles, “Good luck, Lena! And God-speed.” Then he places the device on her head, and helps her lay down on the table.

Lena feels the nerves start to set in as Alex starts placing leads on her arms, legs, and chest. Soon enough, Lena is hooked up to a heart monitor, and oxygen.

Lena must look a little uneasy, because Alex says, "Relax, Lena. It's all just a precaution." Then. "Now, I'm going to put an I.V. in, so you're going to feel a little stick. It's just in case I have to give you medication, while you're out."  Lena squeezes her eyes shut. "On three," Alex tells her as she finds the vein she wants, and scrubs the area down with an alcohol wipe. The area feels cold for a few moments, but then the feeling dissipates, Alex lines up the needle. "Ready? One...Two..." Alex sticks her somewhere halfway between two and three, before Lena has a chance to stiffen up. Lena flinches a little bit from the pain, but then Alex sees the flash of blood, and hits the release. The needle is gone from Lena's flesh in the blink of an eye. "And we're in!" Alex happily announces, as she flushes the line with a bit of saline to check it's viability. She must be pleased with what she sees because she quickly secures it in place, and tapes it down. 

"Alex," Lena can't stop the tremor in her voice.

"I'm just going to give you a little something to relax," Alex decides as she draws up a vile of something. Lena really doesn't want to dwell on what it is, so she avoids thinking about it.

"What if she doesn't want to see me?" Lena finally asks in a panic. "What if she-"

"Lena," Alex says with a hint of exasperation. "Are you kidding me? You're the _only one_ she wants to see! You heard her last words. Her last thoughts were of you!"

"I just- What do I say?" Lena whispers in a panic. 

"The truth," Alex answers her softly. "Just tell her how you feel," Alex encourages, before injects something into Lena's I.V. "Now relax, Lena. And go to sleep." Lena moans as she feels the effects of the medication crest over her like a dizzying wave. She moans ever so softly, as she feels Alex's gentle touch on her forehead, and in her hair. 

Brainiac-V presses a button on the side of the device and there’s a blinding flash of white light. Lena blinks, once, twice, three times. 

Lena finds herself in an environment she doesn’t recognize. She feels the world lurch around her, as the ground shakes. Lena staggers sideways into the side of the hallway, and groans as she tumbles to the floor. The ground is lurching wildly as tremors surge through it. Transverse and longitudinal waves ripple through the metal plating beneath her feet. She rides it out as best she can, waiting for it to subside. The second that it does, she’s on her feet again, and is rushing down the hall in search of Kara. Lena staggers to a stop as she catches a glance into an open doorway. She feels panic as she notices that the light streaming through the windows isn’t yellow, or orange, it’s red. Lena’s stomach traitorously lurches, as she rushes towards the window, and takes a glance outside.

“Oh my god,” Lena gasps. She’s not on Earth. She’s on Krypton - a Krypton that is falling apart. From what she can tell, it’s breaking apart at the seams. And Lena suddenly knows. This is the day. This is the day that Krypton dies…the day it explodes. “I’ve got to find Kara,” Lena breathes in determination, as she turns away from the windows and runs. She’s just made it back into the hallway, when another violent quake shakes the planet. Lena runs down the hallway, as fast as she can, considering the fact that the ground refuses to stay still.

Lena whips around the corner, and she freezes, as her eyes fall onto the figure halfway down the hallway. Kara looks impossibly regal. She's dressed in a white outfit, with the House of El's crest on her shoulder. The pristine outfit has been sullied with dirt and other debris, but Kara looks beautiful in it nonetheless. Kara's eyes are a bright, but icy looking blue. Her hair falls in waves and rivulets around her shoulders. Lena swallows. She wills herself to move - to do something for crying out loud! But as she lays eyes on the woman she'd all but given up for lost, Lena can't move. It's like her mind is desperate to take in her every detail. This is what Kara would have looked like on Krypton, if it had never exploded and she'd been allowed to grow up there. She's so beautiful like this.

 _If I could break away half of all your pain_  
_I'd take the worst of it and carry you like you carry me_  
_You say that you're alright when tears are in your eyes_  
_We're strong enough for this and I need you_  
_It's okay that you need me_  
_So put your armor on the ground tonight_  
_Cause everyone's got to come down sometimes_

“Everybody get to the evacuation zones as quickly as you can! This is not a drill,” Kara orders. "And _please,_ leave all personal belongings behind! Space in the shuttles is severely limited! As long as you're evacuating to a planet in this system, they will have supplies for you there," Kara adds. Kara’s head whips around as a loud crack sounds in the ceiling. A child screams out in terror as the beam overhead gives way. Lena gasps as Kara springs into action. Her Kryptonian reflexes have not been lost, despite the fact that her powers have been. Kara rushes towards the child, without thought for herself or hesitation, knocking them out of the way just as the beam crashes towards the floor. Lena holds her breath, and trembles as she waits several moments to see what has become of her. Dust and other debris are kicked into the air, as the ceiling gives way and more debris rains down to the floor. Lena coughs as she chokes on the dust in the air. For several heart stopping moments, Lena is unable to see whether Kara and the child are okay or not. She hears coughing as others in the area become overwhelmed, and strains her eyes in order to make out figures in the cloud of soot. She can hear the frantic screams of the boy's mother, as she too waits to see what has become of her son. These moment seem to stretch out indefinitely, and Lena can no longer bear the anguish that she feels. Then suddenly, Lena detects signs of life. She hears coughing, and can vaguely make out two figures moving in the cloud. As the dust clears, Lena watches Kara slowly get to her feet. She carefully helps the child to their feet. Lena watches, with her heart in her throat as the mother scoops the child into her arms, and hastily checks him over. The child is fine. There’s not a scratch on him. But Kara – Kara is something else entirely. A rivulet of blood is streaking down the side of Kara’s face, from where it had struck the ground. Lena happens to know that the location of the injury mirrors that of the depressed skull fracture that the blond had suffered at the hands of Reign.

“Thank you,” the mother cries as she pulls Kara into a crushing hug, “Oh, Kara, thank you! I don't know what I would have done!”

“It was nothing,” Kara tells her, with a calm, reassuring smile. “Now get to the ship. There’s little time. You have to go!”

“What about you?” she asks.

“I'm afraid that my place is here, with my family,” Kara tells her calmly.

"Kara," the woman seems dissatisfied with her answer.

“Inara, I’ll be on the last ship out, I promise. Now please! Go!” The woman quickly hugs Kara one final time, presses a kiss to Kara’s cheek, and departs with the child still in her arms. Lena remains frozen for several, heart-stopping moments. Then she steps forwards.

“Kara!” Lena’s voice is breathy but frantic, as she calls out. And Kara's head whips towards her so quickly, that it’s a wonder that she hasn’t given herself whiplash.

“Lena?” Kara breathes in disbelief. Kara blinks slowly, once, twice, three times, as if she's not exactly sure what to make of the sight of her.

“Hey,” Lena breathes. Her eyes sparkle, and she feels a smile tug at her lips as Kara looks back at her. She feels at peace for the first time in what seems like forever, but she also knows that this calmness can’t last. People around them are running this way and that, all trying to save themselves from the decimation of an entire planet. Still, Kara and Lena only have eyes for each other. Then the look on Kara's face transforms before her very eyes as Kara realizes something for the first time. If Lena is there, then she's in danger.

“No no no no,” Kara staggers backwards, “You can’t be here. Rao, you _can’t_. You have to get out of here! It’s not safe, Lee. It’s not safe for you here. You have to go!”

“Kara,” Lena’s voice softens, as she reaches out to touch her.

“No, _please_ ,” Kara’s voice breaks. Lena sees the tears in Kara’s eyes. “Go! You have to go!” 

 _You don't have to be Superman_  
_You don't have to hold the world in your hands_  
_You've already shown me that you can_  
_Don't have to be Superman_

“Damn it, Kara!” Lena bursts out in frustration. “Stop! You… You need to listen to me!”

“How?! How could he do this? Could Rao really be so cruel as torment me with you? Knowing that I could never…”

“Hey,” Lena says as she reaches out for the love of her life, and touches her for the first time. She feels the warmth of Kara’s cheek against her hand. “Hey, shh,” Lena soothes, “I’m really here. It’s not some figment of your imagination, Kara. I promise you. It’s me!”

“How?” Kara questions, "Lena, how are you here?"

“Well, it’s kind of hard to explain, but…” Lena trails off as another violent shudder works it way through the dirt. “Damn,” Lena exclaims, “There’s no time. Kara, do you – do you remember what happened? You know that this isn’t real, don’t you? It looks like you're on Krypton, but this is not really happening.” 

“What are you saying?” Kara’s voice quavers.

“You’re in a coma,” Lena tells her. “This – This is just your subconscious trying to make sense of the injuries that you suffered at Reign's hands. But you’re back at the DEO.” Kara shakes her head, and Lena holds Kara's face in her hands. “They’re trying to help you, but you’ve got to fight Kara. You’ve got to wake up.”

“I’ve tried!” Kara exclaims, “Lena, I have tried everything…literally _everything_ I can think of to make it back. But every time I try, I only make it worse.”

“Please,” Lena begs, “You have to keep trying.” 

 _I know I've been gone too much_  
_We talk about me too much_  
_I'm selfish and distracted_  
_But I'm here, I'm here and I'm listening_  
_And It's just you and me and these four walls_  
_And we are only human after all_

“Lena,” Kara shakes her head, “You should… you should go. I can’t be the reason you get stuck here with me. You have to go back now.” 

“No,” Lena says, “I'm not leaving, Kara. Not without you.”

“Damn it, Lena! You need to listen to me! Please!” 

“No, you need to listen!” Lena shoots back. “Reign is killing people, Kara. She’s declared war on the people of National City - on the people of Earth. You need to wake up! The world needs you. _Please_. The world needs Supergirl now more than ever!”

“It doesn’t!” Kara bursts out, her voice tinged with anger and hurt. Lena feels appalled by the look in Kara’s eyes, as Kara’s composure crumbles. “Look, I _lost_! I – I let down everyone, _everyone_ who believed in me. You, Alex, J'onn, Winn, James, Kal-El? You don’t need me. The truth is, you _never_ _did_ … I - I wanted to believe that Supergirl meant something, that I was worth the faith that people placed in me, but I was wrong. When it came down to it, I failed you _all_. I _lost_.”

“No. You lost the battle, but you haven’t lost the war,” Lena argues, “Not yet. However, if you give up now? If you give up now, you _will_.”

“You don’t understand!”

“Then make me understand!” Lena shouts suddenly. She nearly sobs. “Do you know what losing you did to me, Kara? You _promised_ me. You promised me that you weren’t going anywhere. You promised me that you would always be my friend. And then _you left me_!”

“You're right. I never should have made a promise that I couldn’t keep,” Kara whispers. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for that, Lena. I just - I never thought that something like this would happen.”

“I don’t want your apologies,” Lena says angrily, “Kara, what I want, what I  _need_ is for you to make it right!”

“I can’t!” Kara cries out in exasperation. “Rao, don’t you think I would do just about anything to go back? Don't you think that I would give anything to spend the rest of my life with you? With my family? I - I love you, Lena! I have... I have been in love with you for so long. So don’t you think that if there were a way, that I would have found it by now? It’s been hours for you, but it’s been an eternity for me. I know you want me to fix this! But I can't. I’m sorry, but I _can't!_ ” 

Lena feels her heart break, as Kara pulls away from her. “I have to go now. And so - so do you.” Kara starts rushing down the hall.

“No, wait!” Lena calls after her. “ _Please_. I – _I need you_! Surely you can believe that!” Kara freezes mid-step, as Lena's words sink in. Lena’s voice is desperate as she chases after Kara. Kara whips around then, and Lena feels the air robbed from her lungs. “You’ve gotten so good at convincing yourself that the world is better off without you. But how…how on earth can you justify that to me? Do you have any idea what you mean to me? You’re my best friend! You are…” Lena hesitates. She wants to say that Kara is the love of her life. She hates herself for that hesitation. You would think that with everything that has happened, that Lena wouldn’t make that same mistake twice, but she does. And Kara jumps on it.

“Best friends? Is that all we are?” Kara speaks with disbelief in her voice. “Best friends? _Sisters_?” Kara practically spits the words. 

“Those were _your_ _words_ , not _mine_ ,” Lena points out.

“Because I didn’t want to scare you away!” Kara says as tears leak from her eyes. “I thought I could convince myself to be happy with what I had, but I guess the joke was on me, right?”

“Kara, no,” Lena shakes her head, “That’s not…”

“But it is!” Kara laughs. “Look, I get it, Lee, I really do. You’d rather be with someone else.” Alarms start blaring through every corridor. 

“No,” Lena refuses her.

"For Rao's sake!" Kara exclaims. Kara wildly gestures to their surroundings. "Look at where we are! Whether this is real or not, it's a prison, a prison that I'm going to be trapped in for all of eternity. And it's all falling apart! So do me a favor and just be honest with me! What have you possibly got to lose, Lena?"

“Kara-“ Lena lets out a scream of agony as she feels herself wrenched away from Kara.

The next thing she knows, Lena is on the table in the room at the DEO. She starts thrashing, as she rebels against the notion that she's lost Kara again. “No! What have you done?”

“We had to pull you out!” Alex explains, “We’re losing her, and it was starting to affect you. We couldn’t risk it.”

“No!” Lena protests with every fiber of her being. “No! You have to send me back in! I was just about to tell her. You have to- Damn it, Alex, you have to send me back!”

“Lena-” Alex doesn’t sound so sure.

“You said that you trust me,” Lena reminds Alex. “You said that you trusted me as much as Kara did. Well, I need you to trust me now. I can bring her back. _Please_ , Alex, I need you to believe I can do this. Otherwise – Otherwise she’ll be lost forever. _Please_.”

“Okay,” Alex breathes. Then she repeats it as she tries to convince herself that they’re doing the right thing. “Okay. I'm probably going to regret this, but I know what it's like. I can give you a few more minutes.”

“Wait!” Lena hesitates, “Before you send me back in, there’s something that I have to ask you. You said you talked to Kara right before the fight. What did you say to her?”

“I’d spent the last six months trying to convince her that Kara Danvers was worth saving,” Alex tells her. “But before the fight, I told her to forget what I’d been telling her. I told her to be ruthless. I told her to be Kryptonian. It was – It was a mistake, Lena. I thought…I thought that was what she needed to hear, but I was wrong. And now? Now I wish that I could take it all back. Because Kara is who Supergirl is at her core, and taking that away from her was a mistake.”

“I’m going to fix this,” Lena tells her, as she reaches for Alex’s hand and gives it a squeeze. “I promise.”

“Thank you,” Alex gives her a tearful smile.

Lena settles back on the table and closes her eyes. The next time she opens her eyes, she’s back on Krypton, in Kara’s home in Argo City. The place is nearly unrecognizable. There’s debris everywhere, and the building is falling apart, as powerful quakes rend the planet apart bit by bit. Lena rakes her brain for where Kara might be. Then it hits her like a punch to the gut. She starts running. There are several places where the way forward is impassable and she has to turn around and make her way back to a juncture, but Lena never gives up. She moves as quickly as she can through the corridors.

The only warning that she has of trouble is the deafening roar that begins to drown out her own thoughts. In that split second, she abandons logic in favor of instinct. She quickly breaks out into a sprint, trying to make it to the next junction, where she hopes she can avoid the sheer force (and heat) of the blast that is suddenly upon her. She dives into a side room with stretched limbs, and is slammed mercilessly into the floor just as the blast catches up with her. Lena gets the wind knocked out of her, as she’s driven into the ground by the force of the blast. The blast doors seal themselves shut, just in the nick of time.

She can feel the raw heat of the blaze on her exposed flesh, despite the fact that she is somewhat separated from the worst of it. The truth is, that the door had done little to contain the blast, but at least it did its job in giving her a chance of survival. It kept her alive. Lena can feel the building shudder, as the force of the blast rockets through the interior of the building, buckling beams in a way that is irreparable. 

She slowly pushes herself up to her feet, with panic overtaking her. It jolts her to her very core. She has to find a way to Kara before everything implodes. Her love for Kara gives her no other alternative. She begins moving back toward the evacuation zone, quickly climbing over debris, and dodging live electrical wires and the like. Despite recognizing all these hazards, she also knows that time is precious. So she rushes through them, hoping that luck is on her side. The whole building groans above her, as if threatening to come down at any moment. She ignores it and presses on.

“Come on,” Lena chants breathlessly as she runs.

By some miracle, she manages to find her way. The corridors are deserted, and not a soul is around to be seen. She stumbles to a stop as she emerges in a large, darkened room at the base of the spire. She finds Kara standing there by the pod. She's lifting her baby cousin into it confines. Kara carefully sets him down inside.

“Kara! Thank god I've found you!” Lena exclaims.

“No!” Kara looks upset as she turns to find Lena standing there. “I thought you had gone. I thought you were safe! Damn it, Lee, you can’t… You can’t be _here_.”

“I came back,” Lena says as she rushes forwards, with tears in her eyes. “ _I came back for you_.” Lena's voice is strained as she speaks the words.

“Lee,” Kara says in a defeated voice. “There’s no time! Look, you have to go. You can go in the escape pod with Kal-El, okay?”

“Kara,” Lena protests, as Kara start pulling her towards the escape pod. She hates how Kara is so much stronger than her, even now. Slowly, inch by inch, Lena is moved closer to the pod that will take her away from Kara forever. She tries to fight with everything she has, but it's not enough. Kara is just too strong. The only way that she can stop Kara now, is with her words. “Kara, no! Stop!” Lena shouts as she wrenches her arm from Kara’s grip. She feels a surge of pain rip through her shoulder as a consequence.

“No! You have to go!” Kara begs her. “Lena, _please_.” 

“No!” Lena shakes her head, “I’m not going anywhere. I’m not leaving you! So if this is it? If this is the end? We die together.”

“No,” Kara says frantically. “No, Lena. _Please_ , I’m begging you. I’m not worth this. I'm not _worth your life_.” 

“But _you are_ worth my life!” Lena says passionately, “God! Don't you get it? You are worth _everything_ , Kara. _Please_. The world needs you, Kara. I need you!” 

“The world needs Supergirl, you mean,” Kara corrects her.

“No,” Lena shakes her head, as she grasps a hold of Kara's face in her hands. “No, I was wrong to say that. No. Supergirl is _what_ you can do. But Kara – Kara Danvers is _who_ _you are_ at your core. Kara Danvers is _my hero_ and _my best friend_. She's the one that Earth needs.”

“Lee,” Kara says weakly, as she pulls away. Lena feels Kara's pain.

 _And oh_  
_Rest your eyes now, take my hand_  
_Even heroes fall down now and then_  
_You can let it go_

“I'm so sorry. I- I should have told you,” Lena tells her. “the very first moment that I saw you again. The truth is, I have wanted to tell you for so long, but I've always chickened out when I had the chance.”

“What are you-” Kara questions.

“I love you,” Lena says, her voice strained with every emotion that she lets herself feel in the moment. “I love you, Kara, and I don’t – I don’t want you like a best friend. I - I _want you_ like someone wants for someone their whole life. You’re my soul mate, and my best friend. You're the one person I know knows me for who I really am. Not Supergirl, but _you_ , Kara Danvers. So please, I - I need… _I need you_. I can’t lose you."

"Lena," Kara stutters. The truth is, she doesn't even know what to say. She never thought Lena could feel the same way.

"Please, you have to find a way," Lena begs her emotionally, "You have to find a way to come back, because if you don’t…if this is it, then I don’t know how I’m supposed to survive without you. You make my life worth living, Kara. Not anyone else, or anything else, but _you_.”

Alarms continue going off all around them. There's an eerie calm that settles over the planet. Lena knows that they're out of time. The core of the planet is about to explode.

“Lee,” Kara’s choked voice is evident of the tears streaming down her face. There were so many things that Kara wanted to give voice to, but not enough time to do it. She had no idea how she could convey all of the things that she wanted, in the few seconds that they had left.

“We’re out of time,” Lena says in disbelief. Then, with a newfound sense of determination, Lena says, "No. This can't be it. This can't be how it all ends.” Lena is suddenly surging forwards. Kara staggers backwards, as Lena’s lips crash against her own. The kiss is all consuming. It’s everything that they’ve always wanted. It’s passionate, but soft. Patient, but insistent. Lena vaguely hears the sound that escapes Kara’s throat, and she relishes in it. She feels Kara's hands against the side of her face, and shivers as she feels the way that they quaver against her. Kara’s eyelids flutter closed as she focuses on the feeling of Lena’s mouth moving against her own. Lena sees a flash of white, and knows she’s about to lose Kara all over again, so she clings tight to the love of her life. Trying to memorize the feeling of Kara’s lips against her own, in case this is all she ever gets. But it’s not enough, because Lena wants this. She wants it with every fiber of her being, and she knows that if she doesn’t have it for the rest of her life, that it’s not going to be a life worth living.

“Kara,” Lena’s voice quavers as the kiss break. "I want... I want a lifetime with you. I would give _anything_." 

“I know,” Kara breathes, “I know it’s not enough. But if this is it? If this is the end for us, then I need for you to know that you - you are _my_ hero, Lena. You are everything to me, too. And I – I love you. I will _always_ love you. Promise me that you'll try to be happy, even if it's not with me.”

“I love you-“ those are the last words that escape Lena's mouth, before Lena is wrenched from Kara’s subconscious. When she opens her eyes at the DEO, she surges up, and Alex has to hold her down. Lena is in a full-on panic. Being pulled away from Kara in such a way, is the most jarring thing that Lena has ever been through in her life.

“Easy,” Alex says as she tries to futilely calm her. "Easy, Lena." Lena's chest is heaving, at being thrust ruthlessly back into the world. She knows they'd pulled her out in the nick of time. 

“Did it work?” Lena asks as she looks over towards Kara. Unfortunately, she can't tell if it worked because Mon-El is blocking her view of the blonde heroine.

“Lena-“ Alex’s voice is hesitant as she speaks.

“Did it work!?!” Lena repeats in a shout, before looking over towards Brainiac-5. She feels her stomach sink, when he gives her a subtle shake of his head.

“No!” Lena shouts.

"Lena," Alex's voice is gentle as she tries to soothe Lena. After all, she knows how devastated she much be.

"Let me up!" Lena shouts, as she pushes Alex's hands away and clambers off of the table. She rushes over to the table where Kara lies. Lena is shocked when she realizes how serene Kara looks. If anything, she looks like she's merely asleep. It's nothing like the emotional and physical turmoil she had just experienced inside of Kara's mind.

"This is my fault," Lena's voice breaks, "I should have-"

"Lena, don't do this to yourself," Alex begs, as she places a hand on Lena's shoulder. "I know you did everything you could in there. Unfortunately, it just wasn't meant to be. Maybe it's just her time to go."

Lena grabs a hold of Kara’s hand, and she feels tears streak unbidden down the side of her face.

“Kara?” Lena’s voice quavers, as she speaks to her. She reaches up in order to stroke the side of Kara's face, in a loving gesture. “Kara, I know you can hear me. _Please_. _You have to try_. Please. Come back to me.” Lena hears a gasp from Alex, as Lena leans down and gently presses her lips against Kara’s own, holding herself there for a long minute. She hopes, she prays that Kara can somehow feel her touch. She’s throwing the blonde a lifeline. If there’s any part of Kara that is still in there, she hopes the Kara can follow her touch back to the world of the living. The kiss is gentle, but insistent, as Lena attempts to bring her back to life. She sends a prayer to God, begs him for some sort of sign. 

When nothing happens, Lena finally gives up all hope. She's sure she's lost the blonde forever. She sweeps her thumb over Kara's cheek, once, twice, before she retracts her hand. 

Lena has just turned away, unable to gaze at her lost love any longer, when she hears Alex speak up. 

“Oh my god. I can’t believe this,” Alex’s voice fills the room. Lena's whirls around. "Her condition is improving. She's stabilizing."

So Lena goes back to kissing Kara. She kisses her until her lungs burn furiously from lack of oxygen. And then and only then, does she stop. She pulls away. Kara’s still unconscious, but she’s showing signs of life.

Alex is baffled. She is a Doctor, and even she can't fully explain what was happening. But she will take it. They all watch and wait for some sort of a change. When Alex and Lena both give a huff of impatience, Brainiac-V is the one to remind them to be patient.

"Give it time," Brainiac implores them. "It's going to take her time to wake, but this is a good sign. I believe she truly has a chance."

 _You don't have to be Superman_  
_You don't have to hold the world in your hands_  
_You've already shown me that you can_  
_Don't have to be Superman_  
_You don't have to be Superman_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's a bit of a cliff-hanger at the end. I'm curious to know what you think? Will Kara wake up, or not? And if so, will she and Lena figure everything out? 
> 
> There's a lot more about the other's ongoing battle with Reign in the next chapter! Thanks so much for sticking around! I love you all! *hugs*


	5. Permanent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena interacts with Alex, Kal-El, James and Mon-El while she waits for Kara to wake-up from her slumber. Kara takes her sweet, sweet time, on her journey back to the land of the living, but eventually opens her eyes.

Another twenty-four hours go by before Lena and the rest of the medical staff see any significant change in Kara’s condition.

It had been twenty-four, long, agonizing, and torturous hours since Lena had been yanked from Kara’s consciousness, and still not a sign of life was evident in her, as she lay completely motionless on the table before her. Alex had dressed her in a new suit that Winn had designed. It had several jaw dropping upgrades, including some reinforcement in the fabric that was designed to absorb blows of incredible force. Lena had mixed feelings about the color. The blue fabric of Kara's new suit was a shade deeper than it’s predecessor, due to the carbon fiber mesh embedded in the fabric. Below the red and gold crest adorning Kara’s chest, was a thin chest plate that was meant to minimize the effects of Kryptonite. Also, embedded in several different areas of the sleeves, were microcomputers and sensors that would keep track of Kara’s vitals from afar. Alex had insisted on it. After all, the next time Kara fought Reign, they needed to know the second that Kara was in any duress.

 _‘We should have done it a long time ago, if I’m being honest,’ Alex tells Lena, as they sit by Kara’s bedside, “We always just took it for granted that Kara was invulnerable. But never again. I won’t ever let it ever get that bad again.’_

_‘Alex,’ Lena’s voice is strained as she sees the look in Alex’s dark chocolate orbs._

_‘I can’t stop thinking about it,’ Alex’s words are choked, and clipped due to the emotion in her voice, ‘If we had been just a little bit faster, maybe then we could’ve…could’ve prevented the worst of it. She was in so much pain, Lena. I’ve never heard her sound like that. I-I can’t stop thinking about it.’_

_‘I know,’ Lena breathes as she gives Alex’s hand a squeeze, ‘me too. But I know you did everything you could. And if you had tried to intervene, Reign might very well have killed you too.’_

_‘About that,’ Alex begins hesitantly, ‘I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but there’s an operation planned. We’re going after her. Tonight.’_

_‘What?’ Lena’s eyes widen in alarm, as she meets Alex’s gaze. ‘Alex, no! It’s too dangerous! What if something happens to you? Kara needs you right now. It would destroy her if she woke up to find out something had happened to you.’_

_‘We have to stop the killing,’ Alex tells her with conviction in her voice. ‘Kara would understand. I have to believe that she would appreciate what we’re trying to accomplish.’_

_‘I-‘ Lena hesitates at the last moment, swallowing back her words. She lets out a sigh, and then asks a different question altogether._

_‘What’s the plan?’ Lena asks._

_‘We’re going to try and draw her out,’ Alex tells her. “We’ve got some old weapons at the DEO that have proven effective against other Kryptonians. Reign primarily goes after criminals, so we’re going to try and use that to our advantage in a controlled, staged environment. We’re going to stage a robbery, draw her to the scene, and then attack.’_

_‘Are you sure that your weapons will be effective. I mean… what kind of weapons are we talking about?” Lena asks._

_“Sonic cannons, Kryptonite blades, arrows, chains,’ Alex swallows, “You’d be surprised at how many things we have. We got rid of the entirety of our Kryptonite stash, last year, but I talked to Kal-El, and he agrees that it’s time to bring out the big guns. He should be here shortly.’_

_‘Wait,’ Lena can’t help but gasp. ‘He’s coming here? Now?’_

_‘Yeah,’ Alex nods. ‘He should be here any minute now.’_

_‘Oh,’ Lena looks visibly shaken, as she stands up, ‘Then, I should…I should probably go.’_

_‘Lena,’ Alex jumps up and blocks Lena’s path to the door. ‘Hey! What in the hell gives you the impression that you need to leave?'_

_"Alex, come on,' Lena tells her, "You know why I have to leave.'_

_"Actually, I don't," Alex stresses the words. 'Lena, you love Kara, and I'm telling you that you have just as much of a right to be here as he does.’_

_‘No, I don’t,’ Lena says with a crack of her voice. ‘After what Lex… After what my **family** did to him and his family, I don’t have any **right** to be in his presence. I may love Kara, but that's not enough to undo all of the harm wrought by my family.‘_

_‘Lena,’ Alex shakes her head, and grabs Lena by the shoulders, ‘Hey! Listen to me! You are not your family, okay?! You have proven that time and time again. Kara - Kara sees the good in you, and I know that Kal will be able to see that, too. He’s far more compassionate than you could ever realize, and nearly just as human.'_

_'He's a Superhero, Alex,' Lena nearly laughs. 'I think he's a little bit more than human!'_

_'Yeah, but he’s not like Kara, okay? He didn’t grow up on Krypton. Kal - He grew up on this planet! This world, and its people are all he knows, so please try to think about that for a minute.'_

_'Alex' Lena breathes in a bit of a panic, as she tries to sidestep her again, but finds herself headed off at every turn._

_'Lena, please don't feel like you have to go. Kara wouldn't want you to go. And I know you don't want to leave her. So **don't**. Just stay. Kal is a big boy. He'll be able to handle it.'_

_'You're sure?' Lena asks her. 'You're absolutely sure that he won't loathe me for being here with his family?'_

_"Yes,' Alex promises, hoping that Superman isn't going to make a liar out of her, 'H_ _e believes that people should be judged on their own merits. And if he holds to it, then he'll have no choice but to hold you in high esteem.’_

_‘She’s right,’ a voice speaks from the doorway, ‘I do believe that.’ Lena chokes on the breath in her lungs as she turns to see Superman leaning in the doorway._

_‘Superman,’ Lena can’t help but breathe, as she takes in his piercing gaze. She suddenly feels like she’s being looked at through a microscope, and she silently reckons that maybe she is. 'I'm sorry. If my presence here is unwelcome, I can-'_

_'Don't be ridiculous. Stay,' his reply is curt, but holds a bit of softness to it._

_'I-' Lena hesitates. She's not sure what it is about him, that makes her such a mess of jumbled thoughts and emotions. But she supposes that it's because the guilt in nearly overwhelming. She may not have ever raised a hand against him, but she doesn't feel like she ever did enough to stop her brother, either._

_‘I have been paying close attention to you for some time, Lena,” Kal says lightly, almost conversationally, ‘I watched from the shadows as you rebranded a company that had very much been left in ruin by your brother. If I'm being honest, I wanted to see what you would do with it.” Lena nods. None of this was really news to her, but it made her somewhat anxious to know that he’d been watching. “Initially, I was waiting for that inevitable moment when you crossed a line. But imagine my surprise when that moment never came. You actually followed up your words with actions.’ He laughs. ‘You know, it’s kind of funny. Kara - Kara believed in you from the start. She looked into your eyes and saw your good intentions, while I, like a blind fool, waited for the other shoe to drop.' Lena huffs out a weak breath, unprepared for the words that come next. 'I guess that shows you that even Superheroes can fall prey to bias.’_

_‘I don’t blame you for thinking ill of me, Superman.’ Lena tells him honestly._

_‘Yeah? Well you should,’ he tells her, as he uncrosses his arms from his chest and steps fully into the room. ‘I was wrong about you, Miss Luthor, and I’m sorry for that. I think I learned pretty quickly, that I was in error… but I still thought it.’_

_‘Kara changed your mind?’ Lena asks._

_‘No,’ he says with an honest shake of his head, ‘ **you** did. I’ve always believed that actions speak louder than words. **You** put your own mother in prison. **You** saved the world from the Daxamites.’_

_‘That was Kara,’ Lena argues._

_‘She wouldn’t have been able to do it without you. I was…I was worthless that day.’ Lena glances at Kara, wondering what she would think of this conversation between them. Did Superman know of Lena’s feelings for Kara? Did he know just how much Lena would give for a Super?_

_‘I have to say, the things that you have accomplished since taking over L-Corp, have blown me away. Sure, there have been some stumbles and hiccups along the way, but you have more than made amends for Lex’s crimes._ _You have done the impossible. You have taken a company that specialized in making weapons that intended to maim and kill, and have turned it into one of the foremost engineering companies in the world. You have saved lives, with your tenacity and your genius, Lena.’_

_‘Superman-’ Lena begins somewhat weakly._

_‘Please,’ he says in a gentle voice, “Call me, Kal. My name is Kal-El. Superman just seems so formal.'  Then, 'Here, in this room, can't we just be Kal-El and Lena?’_

_‘I – I don’t know if I can. After all, old habits die hard,’ Lena admits. ‘But... I’ll try.’_

_‘You needn’t fear me, Lena. I will not stand here and judge you. You have proven yourself to be an ally, and a friend. I believe wholeheartedly in Kara’s judgment, and frankly, I think that’s all that needs to be said on the matter.’ Lena nods._

_‘I feel like I should be honest with you about my intentions,’ Lena tells him as he holds out a hand. ‘Kara isn’t just a friend to me, she’s…she’s my heart and soul.’_

_‘Ah,’ he responds to her. His response holds just a hint of surprise to it. ‘And she feels the same?’_

_‘I mean - I think so,’ Lena replies hesitantly. ‘I know it’s strange to ask for your blessing, Kal, but from what I understand, you’re her only living relative. It would mean a lot to us, if we have your blessing, going forward.’_

_‘Of course,’ he says, ‘You and Kara have my blessing, Lena. I wish you two nothing but happiness.’ Lena smiles as she takes his hand and shakes it. She can’t help the audible gasp of surprise that escapes her, as he pulls her in, and embraces her like a family member._

_‘Now, I don’t mean to be rude,’ Kal says, ‘But I was wondering if I might have a minute alone with Kara.’_

_‘Of course,’ Lena replies. Alex gives him a pointed look and a nod, before leading the way out. As Lena passes through the door, she hears Kal speaking to Kara in a hushed voice. None of the words can be discerned, however, because it’s all in a foreign tongue. He’s speaking Kryptonese. It might sound a bit harsh and a bit broken to Lena's ears, but she knows he's trying. Lena can’t help but wonder what it is that he is saying to her. She hopes that his words have more of an effect on Kara, than hers did._

_When he finally walks out of the room, it is with resolve in his eyes. He looks to Alex, before speaking, ‘When I arrived J’onn said that the team has been assembled. Are you ready to go?’_

_‘You’re going with?’ Lena can’t help but ask with surprise in her voice._

_‘Yes,’ Kal says with a tightening of his jaw. There’s resolve in his expression and in his voice, as he says, ‘After what she did to Kara, I have no choice. I will not let her harm another, innocent or not. When I’m finished with her, this so called world-killer will tremble in fear of the house of El.’_

_‘Kal,’ Alex’s voice is soft as she presses a hand to his shoulder._

_‘I should have been there,’ Kal’s voice is undeniably strained. She can see the barely restrained anger in his icy blue eyes, and it is so unlike his soft expression from a couple of minutes ago that it makes Lena feel a little afraid. His every move exudes power and strength. And in this moment, his eyes remind her far too much of Kara’s. ‘I promised Kara a long time ago that I wouldn’t intervene in her affairs. She felt that it undermined people’s belief in her and what she was capable of. But I saw… I know how bad it was. I know what Reign did to her, and I cannot let her get away with it. She almost took my family from me. It cannot stand.’_

_‘I know the feeling. Let’s go,” Alex says determinedly._

_‘Please,’ Lena implores Alex, as she grabs Alex’s hand in hers, stalling her departure for a brief moment, ‘Please be careful. Both of you… just be careful. I don’t want to have to tell Kara that something happened to one of you. So please, be smart.’_

_‘We will,’ Alex promises._

* * *

 

Lena closes her eyes as she thinks about Alex, and the man she’d come to know as Kal-El. She wonders how they are faring in their fight against Reign. She hopes, she prays that there are no further casualties on their side. When Lena’s eyes open again, it’s to Kara’s serene expression.

Kara’s hair has long since dried, and its curls are splayed over the table beneath Kara’s shoulders. Lena can’t help but wonder if Kara would be uncomfortable, lying on such an unforgiving surface. But Alex insisted that Kara wouldn’t even feel the hard surface of the table, now that her powers were returning, and the solar lamps were filling Kara’s body with much needed solar radiation. _Kara won't feel a thing, Lena, I promise._  

Lena slowly lets out another weighted breath, letting it out through parted lips as she idly draws patterns on the back of Kara’s knuckles. The waiting is getting harder by the minute. Lena has never been particularly patient. In fact, she was always of the mindset that when she needed something, she needed it now. And what she needed now was for Kara to open her eyes. She needed to see Kara’s smile – needed to see her bright blue eyes looking into her own, more than she felt she needed the oxygen in her lungs. Lena feels like she’s dying slowly, and losing a bit of her sanity, for every minute that Kara refuses to open her eyes for her. She wants to kiss her so badly, and know that Kara can return it.

The news had been good, encouraging even. The swelling in Kara’s brain had gone down considerably, and the MRI and CT had showed that Kara’s brain was in good shape. Kara’s brainwaves were also normal, and that gave reason for optimism. However, Lena had yet to see Kara’s beautiful crystalline blue eyes, and she couldn’t help but wonder… _why_?

As Lena sits hunched over in a chair next to Kara’s table, Lena’s chest aches with every thought and every regret that she knows she might never have the chance to address. She hasn’t moved in countless hours. Her hand clings to Kara’s, exploring each line and texture of her palm, as she feels it out with the pads of her fingertips. Lena’s hands burn with the heat produced between their joined hands, and she swears that she can feel Kara’s bounding pulse racing through her fingertips. It’s so strong that it gives her hope. Even when Kara was hanging on by a thread, her heart _refused_ to give up.

Lena’s bright green and anxious eyes remain transfixed on Kara, as she watches a tube continue to breathe for her now. Over the hours, Lena had preoccupied herself with untangling the massive number of wires running from Kara’s body to the countless monitors located around the small, frigid room. These monitors kept track of Kara’s pulse rate, pulmonary functions, and other vital organs that Kara needed to survive. When things had finally settled down, Alex had given Lena a quick crash course in Medicine, touching briefly on things that Jack, and her prior training at MIT had never quite taught her. Lena was now confident that she knew how to read the monitors, and at the very least, would know if something were terribly amiss. As a means of making sure that Kara had the support she needed, all of Kara’s vitals were currently being transmitted to a P.A., who would alert the medical team if Kara were in need of immediate assistance. Otherwise, the consensus was to give Kara’s body a much-needed chance at rest.

Lena doesn’t look away from Kara’s serene expression, as the door opens, and another person enters. She watches as Mon-El carefully lowers himself down into the chair across from her. She can tell he’s being mindful not to break it.

“Hi,” he greets her in an exhausted voice.

“Hey,” Lena greets back, as her eyes flicker briefly to his face, and the scruffy beard that adorns it.

“How is she?” he asks Lena.

He looks as exhausted as Lena is, perhaps even more so. His eyes are bloodshot, and his expression seems to speak a lot to his feelings. She realizes that perhaps she has been too hard on him. After all, Lena knows that Mon-El still loves Kara, and cares as much for Kara’s well being as she does. Unfortunately, he hadn’t been able to spend nearly as much time with Kara as he would have liked, because he and the other heroes had spent the last several days trying to prevent any further loss of life at Reign’s hands. Lena can’t imagine what that would be like - to have to carry on, while mourning someone you desperately love. She knows that at some point that she will have to go back to work, but at the moment, she refuses to think about it. She hasn’t let herself think of anything but Kara for the last couple of days. 

“Peaceful,” Lena replies without looking away from Kara’s calm, lifeless expression. “Which is more than I can say for myself,” she says in a broken voice.

“Lena,” Mon-El sighs. “Hey,iIt’s going to be okay. Kara is strong.” 

“There’s still no change,” Lena whispers in frustration. “Why hasn’t she opened her eyes?”

“Things like this take time,” he replies. “I know it’s hard,” he tells her sympathetically, trying to be the strong one. “But try to be patient. Everything will happen in its own time. You’ll see.” Lena just nods.

“About what Imra said before,” Lena hedges, as she meets Mon-El’s gaze.

“Lena-” Mon-El begins, as if he senses the question she’s about to ask.

“It would be easier if I knew,” Lena presses on, “It would be comforting if you could tell me. In the future - my spouse, is it… Is it, Kara? Is she my-”

“Lena,” Mon-El shakes his head, “I know you want me to, but I can’t answer that. I really can’t risk it.”

“I just can’t help but think,” Lena swallows, “If it _is_ her… If Kara _were_ my wife, then that would mean that she survives this. That she defeats Reign and that we…we-“ 

“I can’t,” Mon-El’s voice is tight as he says, “What if… What if I told you that she survives this ordeal - that she defeats Reign, but that she dies five months from now in the same fight that takes her down? What then, Lena? Are you telling me that you wouldn’t do everything in your power to stop it from happening?”

“Are you really telling me that you _wouldn’t_?!” Lena snaps. “For god’s sake, Mon-El, it’s what you’re doing here, isn’t it? You say that your being here is an accident, but I know better. I know that you came here to try and stop this from happening… Or at the very least, you came here because you knew that she’d need you… Either way, you’re already tampering with the timeline by being here. So do me a favor and spare me the lecture.”

Lena watches as Mon-El lifts a hand to his face and scrubs. She can tell then that she hit her mark.

“I could tell you all that I know, but that doesn’t make it concrete,” Mon-El breathes. “Sure, the future is hard as hell to change, but it _is_ possible. Iris is living proof of that.” 

“Tell me that what you said before was an exaggeration,” Lena orders him. “Tell me that you are just trying to scare me. She doesn’t die five months from now, does she?”

“Lena,” he sighs.

“Tell me!” Lena orders, “ _Please_. Don’t say something like that, and just…” 

“We’re not going to let it happen!” Mon-El interrupts, “ _We’re not!_  Okay?”

Lena sobs harshly into her hand, as if she can somehow choke back the heart-wrenching sound. She honestly feels as if she might get sick, as she realizes why he’d come back in time.

“Lena,” his voice is undeniably sympathetic. She flinches as she feels his hand on her shoulder.

“Do we get married before it happens? Before she-“ Lena can’t finish the thought.

“I never said-“ Mon-El argues.

“That’s the thing,” Lena says emotionally, “I don’t think you _have to tell me_ if Kara is my wife. Because I can only imagine myself marrying one person, Mon-El. There’s literally only _one person_ that I have ever loved with all of my heart, and now I don’t think that I could ever be able to settle for any less than _her_. Kara - She’s everything to me. Hell, she’s what has made my life worthwhile again, and I don’t know – I don’t know what I’d do. I don’t know how I’m supposed to live without her.” 

“You really love her,” Mon-El says in resignation, as he fixes her with a thoughtful stare.

“More than words could possibly express,” Lena confesses. Mon-El nods. “It hurts to think about it. God, it just _hurts_.”

“Lena,” he leans forwards. His expression is open as he regards her. “I will tell you one thing, and one thing only. You’re not wrong. I lied about my reasons for being here. I’m not proud of it, but there it is, the _truth_. I came here for a multitude of reasons, and one of those reasons is Kara. The fact is, I could tell you all I know, but it wouldn’t be enough. There really was an extinction level event in the future, AND because of that, a lot of what we know of Earth’s history for the last 1,000 years has been lost. What I do know…is that Reign is a threat unlike anything that the Earth has ever faced; millions could die in her scourge if we let her. Kara knew this too, and that's why…why she was so willing to die to protect it. At first, I didn’t want to intervene. I _resisted_. I knew that it would hurt Kara if I came back, considering that I had a wife, but I couldn’t…I just couldn’t let Kara go through something like this alone.”

Mon-El laughs, but the sound is full of pain. His voice is filled with pain when he speaks again. “Of course, I probably should have realized that she wouldn’t be alone – that she wouldn’t really _need_ me. Not _really_. After all, she has _you_ now.” 

“Hey,” Lena’s voice softens as she sees the pain on his face.

When he speaks next, his words surprise her. “I know you’ve been wondering how I could have turned my back on what Kara and I had. But you have to understand, Lena. It was seven months for you, but it was _seven years_ for me - seven unbelievably painful years of thinking that I would never see her again. I-I hung onto her for as long as I could. The truth is, I couldn’t even so much as look at anther woman, for years after I was put into that pod.”

Lena gasps. “I didn’t – I didn’t know. Seven years?”

“Yeah,” Mon-El nods. “It took me a long time… And it wasn’t really until I gave up all hope of ever making it back, that I was finally able to let her go. It nearly destroyed me.”

“I can imagine,” Lena swallows.

“I actually used to… I used to have conversations with her like she was sitting right next to me. It was always about something stupid like the day’s weather, or some sports game from the night before. It - It was just how I got through the pain of it. But one day, one day I swear… she started answering me, Lena. In fact, I heard her - I _saw her_ next to me, clear as day. Then I blinked and she was gone. _That_ was the day I knew for sure that I had to stop doing it to myself. For my sake, and for hers, I had to stop hanging on to her. Because it was _killing_ me.”

“Mon-El,” Lena shakes her head, “It’s okay. You don’t have to-“

“I just want you to understand why,” Mon-El swallows. “ _I think I need you_ to understand why.”

“I do,” Lena admits, “I do understand. I'm not going to lie. I didn’t understand it at first, but I do _now_.”

“I will always be so grateful to her for the things she taught me,” he says, “For the good things that she taught me to cherish in myself. She saw things in me that I never…. _never_ would have believed myself capable of. And it is _because of her_ that I am the good man that I am today. _She_ made me into a hero, Lena. I came back, because I couldn’t…I couldn’t-” 

“I _know_ ,” Lena tells him. And as they lock eyes, an immense understanding passes between them for the first time. It’s as if they’re both seeing each other for what they are. For once, Lena sees the goodness in him that Kara once saw. Sure, she sees the pain in his eyes too, but there’s optimism and goodness, and an all around warmth. 

“You _are_ a good man, Mon-El,” Lena tells him.

“But  _I wasn’t_ when I met her,” he tells her. “In fact, I was a selfish misogynist, who couldn't even apologize to her for the ways in which I wronged her. You _were_. You have always been good, Lena. You know what’s funny? I think that I was always on borrowed time. The truth is, it never really felt like she was mine, not even when we were together. And now that I think about it, I think a part of her has _always_ loved you.”

“I don’t know about that,” Lena chuckles.

“You clearly don’t see the way she looks at you,” Mon-El replies. “We had so many ups and downs that Kara and I barely had a chance to be happy. But you? I think that you two could have a lifetime of happiness if the universe would only just let you.”

“Therein lies the problem,” Lena tells him. “I don’t know how to get the universe to bend to my whim. I would give anything to spend a lifetime with her. I would give anything to make her happy, but I don’t know if I’ll ever get that chance.”

“You will,” Mon-El says with conviction. “Because we’re all going to do our damnedest to make it happen. I hope you know you’ve got an ally in me, Lena. We may not have always hit it off…but I can see, I _know_ that you’re far better for her than I ever was. And I want Kara to be happy. She deserves it more than anyone else in the world after what she’s been through.”

“Thank you,” Lena says thickly as she feels tears build in her eyes. She never once thought that she and Mon-El would see eye-to-eye on something, but they seemed to be at an understanding.

“So-” Lena breathes.

“Damn,” he laughs, “You don’t ever give up, do you?”

“No,” Lena tells him, with a laugh of her own. “But I think it’s one of the many things that Kara loves about me.”

“ _And_ you’re humble to boot,” Mon-El says with a grin on his face. “Wow, Lena.”

“Fine,” Lena grouses, “You win.”

“Look, Lena,” Mon-El murmurs in a tentative voice. It is as if he is afraid he might say something to upset Lena further, “You haven’t moved from that chair in nearly 20 hours… Maybe- Maybe you should think about going to get something to eat, or finding somewhere to lay down for a while.”

“No,” Lena replies gruffly as she tiredly runs a hand over her face and its’ delicate features.

“Lena,” Mon-El tries again, “No one’s going to think you weak for taking a minute to clean up.”

“Just leave it alone. Please?” Lena is suddenly in danger of losing her patience. “I’m not leaving her. Okay?”

“Okay,” Mon-El replies calmly. “How about I run and get you some coffee? How does that sound?”

“That would be amazing, Mon-El,” Lena speaks graciously, “Thank you.”

“No problem,” he smiles, gingerly standing up, “I’ll be right back.” Lena watches Mon-El disappear from the room. In seconds, her focus is back on Kara. She silently wills Kara to open her eyes. She prays that she will wake up soon.

“Kara,” Lena’s voice is soft, “Come on, Darling. Wake up. _Please_. I’m here. I’m here waiting for you. Come on, my love.” Lena waits for a couple of minutes, receiving no reply. She lets out a sigh of exasperation and closes her eyes. She begins to sing under her breath.

“Will you think that you are all alone?” Lena begins under her breath, “When no one’s there to hold your hand? When all you know seems so far away, everything is temporary… just rest your head. I’m _permanent_.”  
  
Lena suddenly stops singing, as her phone starts to go off. _Crap_ , she thinks, as she realizes she hadn’t turned it off. Ever so carefully, she pulls her hand out of Kara’s. With fumbling fingers, she pokes around in her pant’s pocket and pulls it out. She becomes distracted as she sees a tired looking Eliza is walking into the room. Lena quickly stands up, and gives Eliza a quick embrace. Her phone starts to go off again, causing Lena to pull away. 

“I’m so sorry,” she says aloud as she checks the caller ID, “It’s James. Unfortunately, I have to take this.”

“Don’t worry about it, dear,” Eliza tells her as she sits down in the chair Lena had just vacated, close to Kara, “I’ll be here with her. I promise that I’m not going to go anywhere.” Lena nods, gives her a gentle smile, and reluctantly walks from the room, as she hits the button on the display and takes the call. 

“Hello,” she answers as she walks down the hallway, to an empty medical room, and begins to pace back and forth.

“Good afternoon, Lena,” his voice carries faintly over the device. There’s a bit of an echo and she realizes that she’s on speakerphone.

“Hey. What can I do for you, James?” Lena asks patiently. “How have things been going at Catco?”

“Good,” he replies with a hint of pride in his voice, “Everything here is going smoothly, but that’s not really the reason I’m calling.” Lena hears a faint sound as James takes the call off of speaker so that what she says remains between them.

“Oh,” Lena replies numbly.

“I just wanted to know how… how Kara is doing?” James asks hesitantly, “Has she woken up yet?”

“No,” Lena replies painfully, “Unfortunately not.” She is starting to feel like it might never happen, but tries to suppress those negative thoughts and takes the optimistic route instead, “But Alex and the other Doctors say that her brain activity looks good. They pulled her out of the induced coma about four hours ago. Err…what I mean to say is that they stopped the sedatives.” Lena pauses. “So now it’s just a game of wait and see. Hopefully, she’ll be awake soon. Alex says it could be a couple of hours, or a couple of days. It’s impossible to say.”

“I’ll keep my fingers crossed,” James replies. “Lena, I know that you’re not one to ask for help, but is there anything that I can do?”

“No,” Lena clears her throat, as she feels tears build in her eyes. “You’re already doing so much, James, and I really can’t thank you enough for running Catco in my absence. I just…needed to take some time to deal with all of this.”

“Hey,” James replies, “You know I don’t mind. Given everything that’s happened, I sincerely doubt you’d be able to think straight right now. What matters, is that you take care of yourself. Just - give Kara my best wishes when she wakes up. Because she _will_ wake up.”

“Everybody seems so sure she will, but what if she-“

“Lena,” James admonishes, “She will. _Believe_ in the impossible. And Supergirl _is the impossible_. She can _fly_ , and shoot beams of pure energy out of her eyes.”

“Thanks,” Lena smiles weakly, grateful that James was capable of such compassion when it was warranted. “I’ll keep in touch. Please call me if you need anything. I’m hoping that my notes will be clear enough, but if for some reason they’re not, make sure that Donaldson knows he can call me and ask for clarification.”

“Of course,” James replies, “Now, take care of yourself, Lena.” Lena hastily murmurs a reply in the affirmative, utters a quick goodbye, and ends the call.

* * *

 

_(Kara's POV)_

_Kara starts as she hears Lena’s voice pervade the darkness. She watches as that darkness morphs into something else entirely…a warm orange glow, like light passing through her eyelids. Kara can feel the warmth of the sun on her face and opens her eyes._

_"Tired, my love?" Lena's voice is gentle as she approaches Kara from behind_

_"Mmm," Kara hums, and her eyes flutter shut again. Now that Lena has mentioned it, Kara feels exhausted. It's as if all of Kara's energy has been sapped from her body and hasn't been replaced. With every moment she's spent is this never ending dreamscape, the more and more Kara has felt herself pulled away from the only life she's ever known. She knows she's in danger of being lost forever, but she's too tired to fight it any longer._

_"Kara?" Lena sounds worried as she senses Kara's sudden exhaustion. "Kara!" Kara starts awake again._

_"Huh?" Kara looks dazed as she actually jumps awake._

_"You know.... Part of learning how to sail involves being aware of the things around you. You have to make sure to be aware of your surroundings at all times. You can't just fall asleep at the wheel. The thing about boats... is that they have this pesky tendency to sink if you damage the hull."_

_"Huh," Kara huffs right back, "You don't say!"_

_"Kara!" Lena's voice holds a hint of a reprimand to it._

_"What?!" Kara asks innocently. "If you can be sarcastic, then so can I! After all, it's only fair."_

_"Not when I'm using enough sarcasm for the both of us," Lena retorts, with a wry glint in her bright green eyes._

_"You know," Kara says thoughtfully, "I probably shouldn't be admitting this, but I think your ability to make light of everything, is what I love most about you."_

_"Is that so?" Lean replies lightly, though there's a deepness to her voice, brought on by the sudden emotions that Kara's words evoke._

_"Mmhmm," Kara smiles. Lena feels her heart skip a beat as she realizes how radiant Kara looks with a beaming smile on her face. She hasn't seen Kara smile like it in a very long time._

_"Seriously, though. You'd best not get caught daydreaming, Kara. After all, y_ _ou wouldn’t want to crash into something, now would you?” Kara lets out a hoarse laugh as she gazes out into the vast blue sea that is spread out as far as the eye can see. She had forgotten how beautiful the ocean could be on a clear summer’s day with the sun reflecting off its crystalline surface. Kara is struck by how calm and serene the ocean is today. She is so used to seeing its churning waters, in feeling its’ raw and awesome power, that she’d almost forgotten that it also had the potential to be quiet and still. Somehow, that makes Kara feel at ease._

“ _And why is that?” Kara teases back, “There’s not exactly anything to run into out here, is there?” Lena chuckles. Kara can’t help the shiver that courses through her, as she feels Lena’s presence at her back. She leans back just a little bit, pushing away from the helm, and into Lena’s waiting body. Lena moans quietly into her ear as she feels Kara’s warm body press against her front._

“ _Hmm… You make an excellent point there, Captain,” Lena contemplates this for a moment before she confirms this by looking around. She takes a quick look down at the compass. “Why don’t you make a slight turn to the starboard side?” she husks softly into Kara’s ear. Kara takes a fraction of a second to think about it before cranking the wheel softly to the right. Then she darts towards the crank. Lena watches Kara work the lines with practiced movements. Kara ducks under the boom, just in the nick of time, and Lena watches as the sail catches again. The boat turns to the right, cutting through the water even faster than it had been before._

_“Very good, Darling” Lena approves, as Kara takes the helm once more._

_There’s a hint of pride in her voice as she says, “It seems that I’ll make a sailor out of you yet!” Then she presses a soft kiss to Kara’s neck, which causes a shiver to shoot straight down Kara’s spine. Kara turns around to regard Lena with an arched brow, and a crinkle between her eyes._

“ _And just what do you think that you’re doing?” Kara pretends to reprimand Lena._

“ _Oh nothing,” she smiles, “Just admiring the scenery.”_

“ _The scenery, huh?” Kara smiles, “Well, if you’re so worried I’m going to crash into something, you might not want to distract me…” This earns a warm-throated, boisterous laugh from Lena._

“ _But you just said it yourself,” Lena debates, “There’s nothing out here to crash into. And nothing to distract you, save for me.”_

“ _Mmm,” Kara seems to concede. Then she turns, and pulls Lena to her with a tug of a hand. Lena's breath catches as Kara lips find her own, just as Lena careens into the blonde. Kara's hands find her hips, just in time to soften the collision, and Lena mewls into Kara's mouth as she feels Kara's hands settle on her hips. Kara steadies her as Lena sways ever so softly with the rocking vessel, as waves cause it to bob ever so gently._

_Lena is powerless. She's powerless to stop the sounds that are brought to life by her vocal chords. She's powerless to stop the reactions brought to life by the feel of Kara's lips against her own. She knows that she will never be able to settle for anything less than what she's got now, because there would be no going back after Kara Danvers. Kara is everything. She makes Lena feel everything._

_Kara kisses Lena soundly, feeling the warmth and the softness of Lena’s lips against hers. “I love it out here,” Kara finally confesses, as she pulls away, “It’s so beautiful…” She takes a long moment to peer into Lena’s bright green eyes, which she can’t help but feel are more beautiful than the sea itself. Lena stares back, unabashedly._

“ _It is,” Lena confirms, as she pulls Kara closer. She leans up and catches Kara's mouth with her own. This kiss is more urgent, more heartfelt than the one before. Lena's tongue begs entrance into Kara's mouth, and Kara promptly grants Lena's wishes. Kara moans faintly into her mouth, as Lena's hand presses softly against Kara's sternum. She can feel Kara's heart going crazy beneath her palm, and that thought makes Lena's heart race just a little bit too. It's nice to know that she's not the only one who is so affected by their kisses._

_When the kiss finally breaks, Kara shyly pulls away with a healthy tinge of red on her cheeks. Lena can't help but find it adorable. It was amazing. Kara could be kissing her with a passion and desperation unlike anything Lena ever felt one minute, and then suddenly looking like a child who got their hand caught in a cookie jar, the next. With her behavior, Lena can't help but wonder if Kara were still afraid of rejection. If only she knew how unbelievably in love with her that Lena was. Then, she would never have any doubts as to Lena's affection for her._

_"You're so cute," Lena tells her breathlessly._

_Kara laughs before turning back around to pay attention to the position of the wheel and the waves off the bow. She can feel her breath quicken as Lena steps up behind her, and wraps her arms around Kara’s waist from behind. Kara can suddenly feel the igneous heat radiating between them._

“ _I won’t hesitate no more no more,” Lena begins to sing softly in her ear, “It cannot wait, I’m sure. There is no need to complicate. Our time is short. This is our fate, I’m yours.” Kara feels herself melt as Lena continues to serenade her. She can feel Lena’s breath on her neck as she buries her face into Kara’s hair, which now smelled faintly of salt, and sunscreen._

_“I don’t think I ever want to go back,” Kara whispers aloud, causing Lena to pull back. Kara grabs Lena’s wrist quickly, holding her there. She suddenly feels as if something has shifted between them, and she knows that she said the wrong thing. “What is it? What did I say?”_

_“Kara,” Lena sighs, “You do realize that you have to go back? That you can’t stay here?”_

_“Why not?” Kara asks, as she swallows over the lump in her throat. “I don’t have anything to go back to. The only thing I’ve ever wanted is you, and you’re right here. Don’t you want to be with me, too?”_

_“Kara, listen to me,” Lena breathes, “This… This is a dream. It’s not real. The real me is waiting for you. She misses you desperately.”_

_“This could be real,” Kara argues._

_“No,” Lena says adamantly, “It’s not. This isn’t real, Kara. And you thinking it is, is a problem. This isn’t real. You have to go back. The world needs you to go back. I need you to go back.”_

_“Lee, what in the hell are you talking about?”_

_“Come on, Kara,” Lena orders, “Look around you!” Kara blinks and does as she is told. She carefully looks herself over, starting with her arms and legs. Then she begins to focus on her surroundings. She can see the horizon begin to shimmer ever so slightly in the blinding sunlight. Her surroundings became distorted the more she looks, the harder she squints. Kara can feel her heart begin to pound in her chest._

_‘It’s not real,’ Kara repeats the traitorous words aloud, and the illusion shatters._

_When she whirls around in a one-eighty. Lena is gone._

_“Lena?!” Kara screams at the top of her lungs. It is then that she hears the splash. Her head whips around to where Lena had been a second before._

_“No!” Kara breathes as she secures the wheel, and rushes over to the port side. “Lena!” she screams as she looks down into the water, in order to find it still rippling where Lena had fallen in. “Lena!” Kara screams once more as she strips off her wind jacket and dives headfirst into the water. It is icy cold. And Kara lets out a sharp breath as she feels the cold cut into her body like a knife, and rob her of her warmth. She swims further and further down into the deep blue. Her eyes frantically search for her love, but she can’t see anything but the black spanning out before her. Soon the darkness is suffocating. Her hands grope for Lena, but never find anything at all. She closes her eyes._

“Kara!” a warm, gentle voice speaks, as Kara is unceremoniously pulled from the water. She opens her eyes. Slowly, the light comes back to her vision, and colors began to swirl in her eyes. She struggles to make sense of the colors, and to make sense of where she is. She closes her eyes again. Something is blocking her throat, and is causing her to gag. Her body fights the obstruction with everything it has, but the obstruction remains. She reaches up to her throat, to scrabble for a hold of the thing that is keeping her from breathing, from swallowing.

“No!” the voice exclaims, “No, Kara. The tube has to stay in. No! Let go of it. Let go of it, Sweetie! You’ll hurt yourself.” Kara feels the persistent touch of someone on her hands, as they pry her fingers from around the tube. The touch is warm, like the sun, and Kara feels the heat of the touch coursing through her.

She wants to plea for help. Her eyes open again, and this time it’s to a better focus. What she sees are two pools of blue looking down on her. Eliza’s eyes are as blue as the sky from her latest dream. Her mother’s eyes are twinkling. Kara sees the yellow color of Eliza’s flaxen hair next. Eliza’s hair reflects the light from the room, making her look like some sort of angel to Kara. For a moment Kara wonders if she’s dead.

Kara can see Eliza’s thin, pink lips moving, but she hears no sound. She wills herself to understand what is happening. Where is she? Why does she hurt so much? Her brain feels incapable of processing information. Kara makes the mistake of swallowing again; the obstruction in her throat is painful, intrusive. She wants to speak, to ask what has happened, but the sounds escaping her are incomprehensible.

She focuses all of her attention on her hearing. Finally, she understands the soft words, as Eliza asks her for the tenth time.

“Kara, can you hear me?” Eliza asks. Kara can only moan, choking on the obstruction in her throat.

“I’m here, Sweetie,” Eliza soothes, “It’s alright.” Kara chokes on the air that continues to stream into her lungs. “Kara, I need you to listen to me. You have a breathing tube in. I _know_. I know it’s uncomfortable, but try not to fight it.” Kara lets out another moan, her eyelids fluttering. Another feeling passes over Kara. She is tired…so damned tired. And she hurts everywhere. It was becoming harder and harder to think. Her thoughts are lagging so slowly.

“Squeeze my hand if you can hear me,” Eliza tells her gently. “Come on, Kara. I know you can do it, Sweetheart. Come on!” Kara’s eyes open widely again as she realizes she recognizes the voice.

 _‘Mom?’ Kara thinks._ Tears leak out of Kara’s eyes, as the pain flares and becomes overwhelming.

“I know, I know it hurts, but it’s going to be okay,” Eliza whispers, as she brushes a hand against the side of Kara’s face. Kara lets out another groan, and to accentuate the comfort that the contact gives her, she squeezes Eliza’s hand.

“Eliza?” A familiar voice sounds from the doorway, causing her mother to look away from her for a moment. Kara struggles to place that voice. It haunts her. It sounds so familiar to her. But for the life of her, Kara can’t place it.

“She’s awake,” Eliza tells her.

“I’ll go get Alex,” Lena breathes quickly, rushing back out of the room. Kara’s eyes start to drift closed. Kara’s blinks gradually last longer and longer, causing Eliza’s grip to tighten.

“No, honey,” Eliza speaks warmly, “Don’t go. _Please_. Not yet.” Kara struggles for consciousness, not wanting to leave, either. “Sweetie, we’re all here at the DEO, and we love you so much. Please signal that you can understand.” Kara can do nothing but squeeze Eliza’s hand. Eliza tries not to cry, as she feels Kara’s strength start to slip away.

“She’s coming,” Lena announces rather breathlessly, as she bursts into the room. “Is she-”

“Here,” Eliza says as she tugs Lena to the side of the bed. “Take her hand.” Lena does as she’s told. Kara’s eyelids flicker open, as she feels the softest skin she’s ever touched. Her eyes find two pools of green, and Kara feels like she’s home. She relaxes. The pain shifts to the back of her mind, and in the forefront is Lena, and her soft, melodic voice.

“Hey,” Lena greets in a thick voice, "Hi, Darling." She’s aware that tears a slipping down her cheeks in a steady torrent. But as she looks into the blue of Kara’s eyes for the first time in what feels like eons, Lena realizes she doesn’t have a chance in hell of stopping them. Kara makes a sound in the back of her throat, and closes her eyes.

“No,” Lena cries, “ _No_. Come on, Kara. Your sister is coming. Hold on just a little bit longer.” Kara’s grip falters in Lena’s hand. “No. _Please_. Please stay with me,” Lena pleads over and over again. "I've missed you so. Please don't leave me again so soon."

Lena wonders what it would be like to try to cling to consciousness and still be outdone. Part of her knows that Kara can’t hold onto consciousness forever, but she’s not ready to let her go just yet. Lena places a chaste kiss on Kara’s cheek. “I love you,” she whispers into Kara's ear. Alex limps in with Mon-El on her heels. It takes Alex a little bit of time to maneuver her crutches around the small room, but eventually she makes it to the side of the bed.

Lena steps away as Alex nears the bed. She lets Alex have her moment with Kara, despite wanting to hold onto her forever.

“Hey,” Alex swallows, “Hey, Kara. God, it’s so good to see those eyes of yours. Can you squeeze my hand for me?” Lena watches as Kara weakly squeezes Alex’s hand. Alex, too, seems impressed with her strength. “That’s good.” Alex smiles. “That’s really good, Kara. You’ve got a hell of a grip. Ouch! Okay. Hey – Hey, it’s okay. You can let go now." Kara loosens her grip, and Alex quickly shakes out the hand Kara had been holding. "It's okay if you want to go back to sleep now. I know you must be tired.” Within the span of a minute, Kara was unconscious again. Lena watches as Alex begins checking the machines.

“Well, I think that we can pull out the breathing tube,” Alex announces.

“Wha… You want to pull it out?” Lena hates the quaver in her voice. “Are you sure she’s ready for that?”

“Her oxygen levels seem to be sufficient enough. And she’s certainly strong enough to breathe on her own. The fact that she’s fighting the tube so much is actually good thing. It means she's ready. I promise it'll be okay.” Alex replies, “She’ll still be on oxygen, but hopefully, she’ll be much more comfortable without the tube in. She’ll be able to speak to us then, too.”

“You want me to do it?” Eliza asks her.

“Yeah,” Alex nods.

“How’s the leg feeling?” Lena asks her, as Eliza starts readying supplies for the switch-off to a non-rebreathing mask.

“Hurts like hell, but I’ll live,” Alex grunts, as she shifts her weight on her crutches. “I still can’t believe that Kryptonite has no effect on her.”

“Well, you said that it had _some_ effect,” Lena clarifies. 

“Yeah, but not enough,” Alex shrugs. “It’s not fair that she should be practically immune to the stuff, when it could _kill_ or incapacitate Kara.”

“What if it was injected directly into her bloodstream,” Lena suggests, “Say like… in the Jugular or the Carotid.”

“Huh,” Alex scoffs, as she toys around with the idea for a long minute, “You know, that idea isn’t half bad.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s high praise coming from you,” Lena teases.

“It is,” Alex says as she knocks shoulders with her.

Alex and Lena watch as Eliza, with the help of a nurse, carefully pulls out the breathing tube and places Kara on another form of oxygen that she breathes through mask with a bag attached to it. The valves on the mask prevent Kara from breathing in the CO2 that she exhales.

“She didn’t seem to be in too much pain,” Alex replies, “But we’re going to keep the doses on the higher end of the spectrum. At some point, her powers will interfere with their ability to work, but by then she shouldn’t be in any pain.” Lena flinches as the nurse pulls back the solitary sheet covering Kara’s body, exposing the sight of Kara’s legs. Lena has to look away as she catches sight of the sea of purple and blue that mars Kara’s muscular legs. She can feel Alex’s hand slip into hers, as if she senses how hard it is for Lena to see.

“She’s gonna be okay,” Alex tells her in a soft voice.

“Mon-El said that-“

“I know,” Alex whispers. “I know. He finally told me, but we’re not going to let it happen. It’s going to be okay, Lena.”

“What are the chances that we can talk Kara into letting the Legion try and handle Reign,” Lena asks, thoughtfully.

“Lena,” Alex laughs, “This is Kara we’re talking about. There’s no chance in hell that she’d let anyone else die for her.”

“Then I guess we had better find a different way to save her then, huh?” Lena says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Kara finally woke up! Thank goodness! I'm sorry if you wanted more Kara and Lena in this chapter, but there will be more of them next chapter, I promise. Obviously, my thoughts of this story only being five or six chapters has turned into a pipe dream. Cause there's no chance in hell I can wrap it up in one chapter! ;) I guess the good news, is that there's gonna be more!
> 
> I had this weird head-cannon the other day about Lena teaching Kara how to sail, so I put it in the story. It might have all been a dream, but it's still part of the story. Hopefully, you didn't hate that part.
> 
> The songs Lena sang in this chapter were, "Permanent," by David Cook, and "I'm yours" by Jason Mraz. I know Katie McGrath has been quite adamant that she can't sing a lick to save her life. But screw that! The way I see it in my head, she's got a killer voice.
> 
> Please leave some feedback, if you have the time! I'd appreciate anything you have to offer! :)


	6. At My Weakest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s okay, Kara,” Lena made a concerted effort to keep her voice, and touch gentle, as she reached out for the blonde again. This time, Kara was much more receptive. 
> 
> “Lee?” Kara gasped. She sounded breathless, and timid. She sounded scared and confused.
> 
> “Shh…it’s okay,” Lena told her. “Just take a breath for me, okay?” Lena took Kara’s hand and placed it on her chest, so that Kara could feel the rise and fall of her own chest. She wanted the blonde to feel her heartbeat. A part of her knew it would calm her. “You feel that?” Lena asked her. “Breathe with me, Kara. That’s it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little update. I apologize for the delay in updates. This chapter is mainly filler, but also has some Supercorp goodness in it.
> 
> Thanks, as always, for all of the love and support. It means a lot to me.

_Could it be your eyes_  
_Didn't know that I've been_  
_Waitin', waitin' for you_  
_When your by my side, everything's alright_  
_Crazy, I'm crazy for you_

Many hours later, Kara jolted awake with a strangled gasp. She sucked in a harsh breath, and merely choked on it. Her body convulsed in a fit of panic, as Kara realized she couldn’t breathe. Kara could hear shouting, and a thundering commotion going on all around her, as she lashed out in her panicked state. She felt her hand connect with something solid, and said object went flying. The agent let out a choked noise as Kara knocked the air clean from his lungs with her fist. There was another loud sound as that same DEO agent went crashing through the glass wall on the far side of the room. It shattered on impact. Shards of glass rained down to the floor in a torrent, surrounding the place where the agent landed in a heap on the floor. The agent instinctively covered their head with their hands, as if to protect their eyes and face from further assault, and from the glass that they knew could blind them. More shouts were heard, but Kara couldn’t make sense of them well enough to know what was going on. Everything was such a blur. Kara tried to take another breath, but continued to merely choke on the breaths that she took. Cough after cough after cough tore ruthlessly through her body, and an unpleasant and unbearable tickling in her throat instantly told Kara there wasn’t nearly enough oxygen in her lungs. Kara couldn’t catch her breath to save her life, and it was scaring the ever-living crap out her. She was starved of oxygen and was slowly suffocating with each passing minute. But try as she might, she couldn’t breathe. .She let out a sound as she tried to sit up. But the groan turned into a gasp as the white-hot pain in her chest and the rest of her body reminded her of the last few seconds before she blacked out in the middle of the crater. A brief image of a masked villain and a car door flashed through her mind, and Kara let out another sound of pain and frustration.

Another hiss of air escaped parted lips as her legs curled up into her stomach. Every movement resulted in pain as a direct consequence. And yet, Kara had no choice but to keep trying. She didn’t feel safe. No matter what she did, Kara didn’t feel safe. Chaos filled the room around Kara as she shook off the hands of the people trying to hold her down against the table. More people went flying, as she shook them off with little effort.

Small beads of perspiration slithered across bare skin, as sweat quickly pooled on Kara’s forehead, and the rest of her body. A shiver shot up Kara’s spine, as the nerves in her body reacted to the tactile receptors in her skin. She was grateful to be on the cool surface of the table, because Kara could feel the heat in the room rising to stifling, suffocating temperatures. Kara was in her suit, and she had half of a mind to tear it off. She was so hot. It honestly felt like she was burning up. Kara thrashed around, easily shaking off the hands that were trying to contain her.

Screams continued to echo around the small glass room and Kara couldn’t help but wonder who was screaming. It took her a minute to realize that it was her voice. She was the one that was screaming the loudest. Kara’s screams echoed around the glass walls.

“Kara! Kara, you need to calm down! You’re hurting people!” Alex’s voice was frantic, as she quickly rifled through the drawers of the medical supplies cart, searching for the proper medications so that she could put Kara back out. Then Alex’s eyes found the figure who was drawing close to the thrashing hero. Lena was currently pushing between the DEO agents that were too cowardly to get within a handful of feet of Kara.

“Lena! No!” Alex shouted, as Lena grew close to the table. “She’ll hurt you!”

“She won’t,” Lena had every confidence Kara would never lay a hand on her. “She won’t hurt me.”

“No, you don’t understand! She doesn’t know where she is,” Alex shot back. “She thinks she’s under attack. She will hurt you if she feels like you’re a threat.” Alex abandoned her task of searching for the drugs, as she moved to intercept Lena’s movement. But she was too late. Lena leant down over Kara’s body, trying to grab for Kara’s hand.

Lena knew that as soon as Kara felt her touch, that the blonde hero would grow still and calm. Unfortunately, she underestimated the panic in Kara.

Lena gasped as Kara’s hand found her throat, and seized a hold of it. Kara’s grip was so strong that it choked off her airway before she could do so much as take a single breath. Lena choked on the breath she tried to take, feeling her lungs squeeze as the air became trapped there. Kara’s hand squeezed harder, and Lena could instantly feel the bruising intensity of Kara’s grip. She knew there would be impressions of Kara’s fingers on her skin after this. After all, how could there not? Kara could easily crush all the bones in her neck if she wanted.

“Kara,” Lena tried, as her hands frantically reached out and latched onto the skin of Kara’s forearm. She clawed at it, but Kara couldn’t even feel her touch. “Please! I’m not going to hurt you. You’re safe, okay? You can let go. No one’s going… to hurt you. They’re just trying to help…. You’re - you're at the DEO.”

Kara’s only response was to scream loudly in agony.

“Kara, Please,” Lena tried again, as she felt her vision begin to narrow. Tears began to stream down Lena’s face, as Kara’s hand squeezed harder in response.

It was then that Lena noticed the hero was crying too.

“Kara, it’s… okay,” Lena’s voice hitched, as she fought to get her words out. She was persistent in her efforts, and managed to speak through choked-off words. “It’s okay. I…still… love you.”

“It hurts,” Kara whimpered, through choked-off sobs.

“I know,” Lena whispered. “I know it does.” And she did, she truly knew what it felt like to be in such pain, because Kara was so much stronger than Lena could have ever imagined. She could easily choke the life right out of Lena, all she’d have to do is keep squeezing.

“I’m sorry,” Kara cried, her voice breaking on her words, and it broke Lena’s heart. Lena knew Kara meant it. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind. Kara was in agony. She didn’t want to hurt her. She was just afraid. “I’m so sorry.”

“I know. It’s okay,” Lena told her again. “It’s okay, Darling,” Lena told her bravely. “I love you, and I forgive you.”

“Lee?” Kara’s voice cracked on Lena’s name.

“Yeah, it’s me,” Lena confirmed. “Now, please…let go. You're... killing me.”

Then, miraculously, Kara let go, and Lena dropped to her knees on the floor, where she stayed on all fours. She hacked and coughed as she tried to replace the air in her lungs that Kara had stolen. She watched in shock as Kara rolled off the opposite side of the table and collapsed onto the floor in a heap. Kara’s cape was tangled about her body.

With one hand, Kara reached up to the side of her head, and gingerly applied pressure there. The pain there was blinding, and when Kara opened her eyes again, Kara realized she was blind in that eye. The brightness of the lights in the room was causing shocks of pain to tear through the side of her head. Something was wrong. What was happening to her?

There was fire roiling through Kara’s veins. For every breath that she tried to take, Kara coughed. Flashes of the night from two weeks ago assaulted her in barrages, stealing the air from her lungs. Kara remembered her fall from the edge of the rooftop. She remembered reaching out - trying to latch onto something as she’d fallen, but she’d ultimately been unable to stop the fall. The last glimpse Kara had of that night was of the imposing figure standing on the edge of the rooftop. She felt the menacing stare of the figure all in black, as she let Kara plummet to her death.

Kara gasped as she felt the impact of the ground, as if it were happening all over again. A blinding pain surged through all of her nerve endings – all at once. Kara’s free hand slid downward to her stomach. She felt sickness turn her stomach as another blinding pain rippled across her midsection. Kara opened her mouth to scream. But this time, no sound came out. Kara coughed violently for several moments, before she spat red all over the floor. Kara shuddered as she realized what it was. It was blood. 

“Breathe,” Alex coached her, “Breathe, Kara. Come on… You have to breathe.”

“What’s wrong?” Lena asked.

“Her O2 sats are in the seventies,” Alex answered her. “She’s not breathing. Something’s wrong. I think her lung has collapsed again.”

Lena gingerly crawled around the table. As she drew near to Kara again, she had to fight the fear that surged up in her as a result. She didn't want to be afraid of Kara, but if her experience taught her anything, it was that she needed to be afraid. Kara was lethal like this.

When Kara moved unexpectedly, Lena flinched. Lena had to tell herself over and over again that Kara wouldn’t hurt her. Not now that she knew it was Lena who was trying to help.

“It’s okay, Kara,” Lena made a concerted effort to keep her voice, and touch gentle, as she reached out for the blonde again. This time, Kara was much more receptive.

“Lee?” Kara gasped. She sounded breathless, and timid. She sounded scared and confused. Lena watched blood dribble from her mouth and onto the floor.

“Shh…it’s okay,” Lena told her. “Just take a breath for me, okay?” Lena took Kara’s hand and placed it on her chest, so that Kara could feel the rise and fall of her own chest. She wanted the blonde to feel her heartbeat. A part of her knew it would calm her. “You feel that?” Lena asked her. “Breathe with me, Kara." When she felt Kara start to respond to her, Lena let out a sigh of relief. "There, Darling... That’s it.”

 _Oh, here I go, down that road_  
_Again and again the fool rushin' in_  
_But I can't help when I feel some kind of way_  
_Do you feel the same? 'Cause_  
_And I fall, I fall for you_  
_You caught me at my weakest_  
_And I fall for you_

She felt relief when Kara started to calm. But it wasn’t enough; Kara’s oxygen saturation was still plummeting.

“Kara?” Lena’s voice was soft, probing.

“Where…Where are you?” Kara asked. “I can’t – I can’t see you.” Lena frowned.

“I’m right here,” Lena told her, as she reached over and wrapped a hand around Kara's shoulder so that Kara could get a sense of where she was. “On your left side… It’s okay. You’re still recovering, so your sight might not be as good as it normally is. But I’m right here, I promise.”

Kara could still hear the shrill, almost deafening chirp of the alarms going off in the building.

"What's going on?" Kara asked. "The alarms...everything is so loud! It's hurting me..."

"Can we please do something about the alarms?" Lena asked in a loud voice.

She struggled not to lose consciousness as her vision blurred and overwhelming fatigue threatened to take her again.

Lena flinched as she felt Kara tense. She was worried that Kara might lash out again.

"Kara - Kara, it's okay," Lena tried to reassure her.

“No,” Kara shook her head. “No, it’s not safe… I have to get out. I have to-“

She had to find a way to get out somehow. Kara flexed the muscles in her wrist and hand, struggling to see if she might be able to push her self up from the floor. She wracked her brain for more memories of what had happened. But it had all happened so fast.

Kara gritted her teeth together as more flashes from her fight with Reign assaulted her. A scream escaped her lips as Kara's movements sent a surge of blinding pain through her body. Kara pushed herself to her feet. But promptly stumbled and dropped back to all fours. She cradled her stomach with one hand as she crawled on her hands and knees. Her arms trembled with the effort, and Kara was forced to stop. She clenched her jaw to keep herself from screaming, but her effort to choke down the sounds didn’t last long. The pain seemed to worsen with each passing minute, until finally, Kara broke.

“Kara!” Lena’s voice was panicked as she felt herself losing the blonde. She could feel Kara start to push her out. The blonde’s movements were frantic. “Kara, wait! Don’t!”

Kara made a fist and pressed her knuckles to the floor. Then Kara pushed up. She felt weightless for a moment, as she went airborne. There was a loud noise, as Kara crashed upwards through several floors, wreaking havoc on the building, before she lost momentum and was ultimately unable to break through any more. Kara struck the ceiling of that room and fell.

Kara quickly discovered, that what goes up, must come down. She let out a cry as she fell the several floors back into the room where she hit the ground hard enough to send cracks spidering through the floor. Kara saw stars burst to life behind her eyelids, as with a loud thud, she absorbed the impact of that fall with her body. And this time - this time Kara screamed herself hoarse, as the pain flared up again. This time it was blinding. The last thing Kara remembered seeing before losing consciousness, was Lena’s soft green gaze. Kara felt comforted, as the CEO pulled Kara’s body into her lap, cradling Kara’s body against her own.

* * *

 

The next awareness Kara had of consciousness was only slightly better than the time before. Her throat was dry and sore. It felt like a piece of sandpaper and it hurt every time she swallowed. She could smell the plastic of the tubing beneath her nose every time that she took a deep wheezing breath. She winced, feeling the painful stretch of her lungs against her ribcage. She could only guess at the damage she had sustained. She felt dizzy as she opened her eyes, and even more disoriented as her eyes opened to the dim ceiling. Her vision was still blurry and her stomach clenched painfully as she realized the extent of her nausea. She tried to move, but the second she engaged the muscles in the lower half of her body, the pain made her regret it immediately. She couldn’t suppress the moan that squeezed past her lips. Kara tried to move her arm, but froze as she realized that it was trapped beneath something heavy. She could vaguely feel the sensation of Lena’s soft, wavy, dark hair.

But before Kara could revel in the feelings she was having about Lena, the pain reminded her that something was wrong.

“Ugh,” Kara groaned, the sound choking in her dry throat. She realized she couldn’t speak. Kara fought the pain, but she cried out as the throbbing in her body won out.

“Kar,” Alex jumped up from her chair on the other side of the bed. Kara’s eyes flickered open again, disoriented by the new sound. Alex grasped immediately for Kara’s hand, and Kara turned towards her. Her mouth tried to form the words, tried to say her sister’s name, but nothing came out.

“Welcome back,” she whispered, and Kara made a noncommittal sound in her throat. “How are you feeling, Sis?”

“Water,” Kara choked out, her voice rough and pleading.

“I’ll be right back,” Alex declared as she nearly bolted from the room at a sprint.

Tears began to slip down Kara’s cheeks in a silent stream as she was left alone. Her body started to shake gently with the tears, but she fought that, too. Kara closed her eyes, deciding that she might rather be dead. The pain was all consuming. It seemed to steal every thought away from her, and she just wanted it to be over. Another sob broke through her throat, in a raw guttural sound.

Lena’s first awareness of consciousness was clouded, but her ability to react was much more substantial than Kara’s. She lifted her head and her heart clenched painfully upon seeing Kara’s quavering body. “Oh, Darling,” Lena’s voice was soft as she quickly perched herself on the side of the bed and caressed Kara’s cheek. Kara’s eyes peeled opened to meet green. She choked on another sob, and saw Lena’s gaze soften. “What’s wrong?” Lena asked.

“It hurts,” Kara whispered. Due to the gravel in Kara’s voice, Lena could barely understand her.

“I know, love,” Lena soothed, leaning forwards to press a lingering kiss to Kara’s forehead. “Just hang in there. Your sister is coming with the water.” Alex rushed back inside, holding a plastic cup full of water. She handed it off to Lena, who carefully lifted it and held the glass to Kara’s lips. Kara looked at the water at much the same way that someone might look at water if they were in the middle of the desert, and hadn’t had a drink for days. It was her salvation. It was going to be the thing that made her whole again.

“Easy,” Lena chastised, as she watched Kara try to chug it down. “Slow, Kara. Take it slow,” Lena coached. She was surprised when Kara listened, and sipped at the cup with reserved swallows. Kara closed her eyes and sighed as Lena slowly eased the cup away from her lips, so that Kara could take a breath. Lena handed the cup off to Alex, who set it down on a nearby tray.

“Lee?” Kara’s voice was scarcely a whisper, but Lena could hear the undeniable emotion in it.

“Yeah, love?” Lena breathed softly, as she stroked the side of Kara’s face in a lover’s caress.

“Am I dreaming?” Kara swallowed. Her brows knit together in determination and confusion. She was determined to make sense of all of the thoughts that were currently taking up residence in her head. The problem was, it was all a jumbled mess. 

Kara had gone through so many realities during her time in the coma, that she could no longer tell what was real, and what wasn't. But with Lena caring for her like this...it almost seemed to good to be true.

“It feels…" Kara sounded the words out slowly almost languorously, "everything feels…”

“What, Darling?” Lena pressed, feeling herself growing impatient.

“Wrong," Kara finally managed. 

Lena tried not to flinch at Kara’s reply, but the word hurt. Lena didn't know what to feel.

_What was so wrong about this? What was wrong about loving her - about caring for her?_

“Why do you say that?” Lena had to ask.

“I don’t – Ugh, I can’t…” Kara nearly growled in frustration. “Why do I feel this way? I can’t seem to organize my thoughts. It’s just… Everything’s a mess… it's like i've lived a million different lives and I don't know which one of them was actually mine.”

“I totally understand,” Lena replied patiently. “I know that it’s difficult, but I promise that it’ll get better. You’ve been out of it for a long time.”

“Water?” Kara pleaded again. Lena looked to Alex, who hesitated.

“Just one more sip,” Alex relented. “She really shouldn’t have too much, with the surgeries she’s had.” Lena lifted the cup back to Kara’s lips.

Lena felt a pang of guilt as the small stream of water made its way past Kara’s dry cracked lips. Kara swallowed, wincing as the water made its way over the dryness in her throat. Kara’s eyes seemed to widen a little bit as the water ran slowly over her tongue. After all, it was nothing short of heavenly. Unfortunately that state of heaven didn’t last long. Kara made a sound of protest as Lena pulled the cup away from her lips.

“Please,” Kara begged, her thirst far from quenched. Lena brushed her hand over Kara’s cheek.

“I’m sorry, Darling,” Lena said softly, “But you can’t have any more until Alex is sure you’re ready for it. You've been through a lot.”

“What... What happened to me?” Kara blinked, feeling a wave of dizziness take over her. She shook her head lightly, but this only made her feel worse. The headache was too much. She closed her eyes, for a respite, but opened them when she felt Lena squeeze her hand. When Kara finally opened her eyes again, they opened to find Lena’s eyes staring intently into her own. Kara was astounded by how much she saw in them. She saw concern and worry, but she saw so much more than that, too. She saw love and relief. She saw softness, and kindness. But also, much to her own dislike, saw pity in them as well.

“You don’t remember?” Lena’s inflection also was indicative of her concern. Then Lena turned to look at Alex. She looked particularly concerned as well.

“No,” Kara choked out, “I…I’m sorry, but I can’t. I’m really trying, but I can’t- Rao, I can’t remember.” Lena’s stomach sank as she took in the expression of fear and panic on Kara’s features. "I think I was...I was home? Or was that a dream, too? Rao, I can't...I can't make sense of any of it."

“Kar,” Alex said softly, “It’s okay. Just try and relax, okay? Everything is okay now. All that matters right now, is that you’re safe.”

“Where am I?” Another look was shared between Alex and Lena.

“The DEO,” Alex replied. “We’re at the DEO. And we’re completely safe, I promise.”

“Oh, Rao! You’re hurt!” Kara’s burst out, as she noticed the bruises on Lena’s neck.

“I’m fine,” Lena replied. She made a concentrated effort to keep the pain out of her voice.

“No, you’re not,” Kara denied her. “Who did this to you?”

“Kara-“

“Who? I want to know who hurt you,” Kara demanded.

“Kar,” Alex cut in. “Listen,” Alex voice was sympathetic and kind. “Don’t do this to yourself, okay? You’ve got enough to worry about right now, without diving into all of that. Do yourself a favor and let it go. Lena is okay. That’s all that matters right now.”

“What do you mean?” Kara asked. Then something occurred to her for the first time. They both watched a look of pure pain took over Kara’s face. But for once it wasn’t because of physical agony, it was because of emotional agony.

“Kara,” Lena tried.

“It was me?” Kara spoke in disbelief. “I did this?”

“Hey,” Lena whispered, as she sought to comfort her. It hurt her when Kara flinched at her touch.

“Don’t… Please don’t touch me,” Kara begged. “Rao. How can you even…how can you even look at me? I did that to you…”

“Kara,” Lena was not one to give up so easily.

“I hurt you!” Kara burst out, her voice cracking harshly on her words.

“That’s just it,” Lena replied. “It wasn’t you! Okay? It wasn’t you, Kara. I know it.”

“Lee-“

“You would never hurt me, Kara, never. You were still injured, and not in your right mind. I – I forgave you. I forgive you, okay?”

Kara just shook her head. “Kara,” Lena’s voice was pleading. “Please look at me.”

“I-I can’t,” Kara’s voice gave out as a sob tore it’s way through her throat.

“You can,” Lena argued. “Please… Please, Kara.” Kara flinched as she felt Lena turn her head. And soon enough, she couldn’t evade Lena’s gaze any longer. “I’m okay. I promise I’m okay. And, truth be told? It was a good lesson for me. I will not make the mistake of underestimating your strength again.”

“I’m so sorry,” Kara said as tears brimmed over in her eyes, and spilled. “The last thing I’d ever want is to hurt you.”

“I know,” Lena nodded. “You’d sooner harm yourself than ever lay a hand on me. I mean it when I say that you’re already forgiven, okay?” Kara reluctantly nodded. “That’s my girl,” Lena told her with a weak smile, as she brushed away Kara’s tears. 

“Kar,” Alex breathed, “I know this might be a bit difficult for you, but what’s the last thing you remember?”

“I…” more tears made their way down Kara’s cheeks, “I don’t know. I…everything is just so fuzzy. I can remember meeting you at the DEO, but I can’t remember anything after.”

“Do you remember the Christmas party?” Kara hesitated.

“Bits and pieces of it? Why?” Kara’s voice cracked. “Rao, why can’t I – why can’t I remember? It’s not just Christmas, it’s before, too. Something’s wrong with me.”

“Shh,” Lena squeezed Kara’s hand, “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay, Kara. It’ll all come back. You just need to give it some time.”

Alex’s voice quavered as she spoke again. “Listen, Kar, you were in a bad fight.”

“A fight?” Kara repeated slowly.

“There’s another Kryptonian that was wreaking havoc in National City,” Alex swallowed. “You tried to stop her, but she was a lot stronger than we anticipated. It was bad… really bad. We tried, but we couldn’t get to you in time. You - You got hurt.” Kara just stared at Alex in disbelief, almost as if she didn’t believe her.

“Should I… Should I be worried that I can’t remember?” Kara asked her. She hated the look of pain on Lena’s face, and wanted nothing more than to take it away.

“That’s…a tough question to answer,” Alex responded. “Sometimes, in cases of severe head trauma there’s some retrograde amnesia.” When she saw the look of puzzlement on Kara’s face, she said, “That basically means that they can’t remember things that happened for a period before the head injury. That deficit can stem back days, or can encompass years. The good news is that most of it will come back, if you give it time. I’ll have to run some tests to make sure there’s nothing more serious at play, but this…this sort of feels like a blessing. Perhaps, it’s actually a good thing that you don’t remember what happened. It was really bad, Kar.”

“How long have I been asleep?” Kara asked, “What day is it?”

“Wednesday,” Alex answered, “January 3rd. You’ve been out for about two weeks since the fight.” Alex’s voice broke as she spoke the next bit. “We umm… We weren’t sure that you were going to wake up for a while.”

“Lena?” Kara whispered softly.

“Yeah?” Lena replied, wiping tears from under her eyes.

“Why are you crying?” Kara asked, not sure why she had affected her best friend in such a way.

“I…” Lena choked on her words, and looked to Alex helplessly, “I’m sorry. I just need a minute.” Lena rushed from the room, as Kara called out after her. Kara felt the loss immediately, wondering why Lena was so shaken up. She’d seen Lena get emotional before, but never quite in the way that she was doing now.

Alex felt a pang of sympathy as Lena fled the room. She knew what the problem was. The fact is, that Kara didn’t know how Lena really felt. And although she sympathized, part of Alex felt like it was unfair of Lena to react so strongly in Kara’s presence. Kara was disoriented and afraid right now. And Lena’s reaction was only going to make Kara question things further. After all, Kara didn’t remember what had happened, and because of that, she wouldn’t know how to read Lena’s feelings openly.

“What – what did I do?” Kara’s voice cracked. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No,” Alex shook her head.

“Then why did she react like that?”

“Kar,” Alex sighed, sitting down. “Lena has taken things pretty hard. The truth is, _we all have_. We’ve been extremely worried about you.”

“That bad?” Kara swallowed, realizing for the first time, through Alex’s gaze, that she had gotten a lot closer to death than she ever wanted to get.

“Yeah,” Alex nodded, her own eyes burning with tears. They spilled over and coursed down her cheeks. “It’s been a really rough few days.”

“Oh, Rao,” Kara breathed. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Kara,” Alex shook her head, “Okay?”

“You know that I would never leave you, if I had anything to say about it, right?” Kara asked in a tremulous voice.

“That’s just it,” Alex whispered. “I watched you give that fight everything that you have, Kara. You fought for your life, and she beat you within an inch of your life. I…honestly thought I was going to lose you.” Alex paused to clear her throat, and wipe away her tears, “When I rushed in to find you in the center of that crater… I thought I was too late. You were barely alive…and barely recognizable.”

“Oh-“

“Given all of my training, I was able to deal with it, but for people like Lena and Winn-“

“I didn’t mean to make her cry,” Kara said painfully, her eyes blinking rapidly. She felt her chest clench painfully as she thought of Lena. The last thing she ever wanted to do was cause Lena pain.

“She cares about you. Kar,” Alex said quietly as she squeezed her hand. “I know that right now you’re confused, and in unbelievable amounts of pain, but it’s important you know that.” She sighed, “Just give her a minute to battle her own demons and she’ll be back.” Kara nodded. And sure enough, Lena came back in a few minutes later, far more composed.

“Lee,” Kara spoke as she held Lena’s bright green eyes, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It’s not your fault, Darling,” Lena replied, drawing close to Kara, “It’s just been a hell of week. Actually, _two weeks_.” Kara swallowed as Lena took her hand in hers, threading their fingers together. Slowly, almost painfully, Lena leaned in to press a lingering kiss to her cheek. She let her lips linger against Kara's skin, marveling at the feel of it under her lips.

“I love you,” Kara breathed in her ear, as Lena’s lips brushed the arch of the bone that formed her cheek. Lena closed her eyes, and sighed gently, She tried to memorize the sound of Kara’s voice, the warmth in it, and the inflection, as Kara spoke those three magical words. It melted what was left of Lena’s heart. It knocked down all of the walls that she’d spent so long building around her heart. Her heart had once been an impenetrable fortress, but somehow – against all logic – Kara had broken in and taken up residence in it. Lena slowly pulled away. Her eyes were glassy in a way they hadn't been in a long time.

"What?" Kara asked curiously. "What is it? Did I say something wrong?"

"No," Lena replied honestly as her forehead dropped forwards. Kara's eyelids fluttered closed as she focused on the feeling of Lena's forehead against her own. "No, on the contrary, what you said was perfect."

"Then, why are you acting like-"

“Because I love you too,” Lena cut her off with an admission of her own, before she pulled back. Lena noted how Kara’s eyes went somewhat wide at the admission.

“Lee,” Kara choked out, “That’s okay. You don’t - you don't have to feel like you need to say it back.”

“I know,” Lena said in a low alto voice, as she let her hand cup Kara's cheek gently in her hold, “I know that." Kara sucked in a sharp gasp. "Kara, I-I _wanted_ to say it.” Lena paused, breathing softly for several moments. She could feel her soft breaths mingling with Kara’s own. “The truth is, I’ve been trying to figure out how I was going to tell you." Kara was clearly speechless, for the first time. "I love you, Kara. You might not remember me saying it before, but I do. I love you more than you could possibly know."

Tears brimmed in Lena’s eyes, and it broke Kara’s heart.

“I-I don't understand,” Kara swallowed. “I thought that you had feelings for James.”

“No,” Lena shook her head, “No, Kara. I’ve been _in love with you_ for a long time.”

"How long is a long time?" Kara asked. "Weeks?"

"Months," Lena answered, "Years. I think I've loved you since I got to know you."

“I’m so sorry that it took me so long to say something,” Lena apologized.

"Lee-" Kara was clearly at a loss for words.

“I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost you,” Lena confessed.  Kara tried to speak, but her voice was still hoarse and scratchy.

“You’re not going to lose me,” Kara promised her.

“Kara-“

“No,” Kara interrupted as she reached up to grasp Lena’s face, with a hold that was so gentle Lena could scarcely believe it. It was so different from earlier, that it floored her. Kara touched her and held her like she was something undeniably precious to her. It melted her. It called to something in Lena’s soul. “I can tell that you’re scared. I can tell that you’ve been through hell lately, and I can’t tell you how truly sorry I am for putting you through that, Lee, but I’m serious…you’re not going to lose me. Not now. Not ever.”

 

_Love you gonna get hold on me_  
_Tell me what you gonna do to me_  
_Now you've gone and got your hands on me_  
_Tell me what you gonna do_

“You don’t know what it was like, seeing you like that,” Lena couldn’t stop the sob from escaping. “You weren’t you anymore, Kara. You were this bruised, broken form that didn’t even look like you, and I thought you were going to die without my ever having to have a chance to tell you that I love you. God, I am so so in love with you.”

“I love you, too,” Kara whispered. “You have no idea, Lee.” Then, Kara reached up to Lena's neck and asserted a gentle pressure on her, one that Lena was powerless to resist. Kara captured Lena's lips with her own, pulling Lena down against her. Kara's lips were perfect against Lena's. Lena sucked in a sharp breath as she let herself drown in the feeling. She'd been so afraid she would never get to feel it, that she would never get to experience the rapture of it. But here she was, drowning in so much feeling. 

Kara made her feel _everything_. Lena's lips were almost frantic against Kara's own, as she took everything she could take. She was careful, though, careful not to take to much - careful not to touch Kara with all the ferocity and hunger that she wanted to, lest she cause Kara any additional pain or injury.  Kara returned the kiss, kissing her just as urgently. There was a desperation, an urgency behind their every move. After all, they'd come too close to losing everything for them to not take advantage of such a precious moment. They both let themselves appreciate the gift they'd both been given. They'd both been given a second chance at love.

Finally, the kiss broke, leaving them both a little breathless. Lena's forehead dropped against Kara's, and they shared breaths for several minutes before Lena felt composed enough to speak.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," Lena laughed lightly.

"Probably for about as long as I've wanted to." Kara's eyes were sparkling with mischief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I love you guys!
> 
> The big Reign fight scene will take place in the next chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm terribly sorry. Please don't hate me!
> 
> If you have a minute, leave a like or a comment. I'd love to know what you guys think! 
> 
> Also, I'm giving out free *hugs* to everyone who made it through that. I love you guys, and I apologize for making you sad. Please forgive me.


End file.
